{"id":1445,"date":"2011-07-12T12:01:13","date_gmt":"2011-07-12T16:01:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=1445"},"modified":"2011-06-04T22:32:16","modified_gmt":"2011-06-05T02:32:16","slug":"law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction in Action: Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/05\/LOAlogo2.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-710\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2011\/05\/LOAlogo2-231x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"231\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>This is post 145 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/Law-of-Attraction-in-Action-Series.html\" target=\"_blank\">Law of Attraction in Action Series <\/a>to see how.<\/p>\n<p>Friendship is considered a very important influence on our health and happiness. Studies show that having a good community of friends around you can extend your life and improve your health. But, that depends on the kind of friends you have. Caring, loving ones enhance your life. But if your friends are negative, or even worse, toxic, they\u2019ll have the opposite effect on you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your worth tell the Law of Attraction what kind of people you expect or feel comfortable with,<\/strong> however uncomfortable their negative attributes can make you. If you complain a lot about someone but continue spending time with that person, you say it\u2019s acceptable to your concept of a friend. If you allow friends to take advantage of you or take you for granted, you affirm that it\u2019s okay. It doesn\u2019t matter if you also say you don\u2019t like it. When you think about what you don\u2019t like, you attract more of it.<\/p>\n<p>Friends are a reflection of you and the way you feel about you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You can learn a lot about yourself by the people you attract and hang with<\/strong>. When I was a DoorMat I settled for anyone who\u2019d spend time with me. I was so scared of being lonely that I deluded myself, thinking they were people I needed. But it was really because I was scared of being alone. I had a lot of friends growing up and believed I needed a lot of people around me as an adult, so I did whatever I could to attract people to me, and keep them around. This often meant pleasing them and tolerating that they didn\u2019t care about pleasing me.<\/p>\n<p>DoorMats do that but so do people who don\u2019t love themselves enough to respect and value their own company.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t value myself enough to enjoy being with just me. That seemed like torture, though I\u2019d never actually tried to spend time alone. I imagined the pain I expected from doing that would be worse than the pain I got from the people I called friends. It changed as my self-love grew.\u00a0 The more I loved me, the less I tolerated from people and the more value I gave to the word friend. It didn\u2019t mean someone who hangs out with me for favors or who is any person available for company.<\/p>\n<p>Friends should be people you trust, who you respect and who respects you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Friends should be people who make you happy and support you, not just people you support.<\/strong> The Law of Attraction picks up on the ones you allow into your life and sends you people you seem to want for friends since you accept them. Tolerating behavior\u2014consistently\u2014that you don\u2019t like attracts more of those types. Eventually I began to let go of the people who didn\u2019t fit my new definition of a friend and began to attract a much better quality of people.<\/p>\n<p>Tell the Law of Attraction that you want friends who treat you well and that are trustworthy by only accepting those kinds of people as your friends. Of course you may disagree with a friend occasionally and disappointments and angry situations can happen with the best of friends. But there\u2019s a difference between a one-time incident and normal behavior. The better the friends you make, the better the friends you\u2019ll attract. Love yourself enough to not settle for friends who don\u2019t make you happy most of the time!<\/p>\n<p>See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/Law-of-Attraction-in-Action-Series.html\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>HERE<\/strong><\/a>.<br \/>\n************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>self-love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><a href=\"..\/2011\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-posts.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is post 145 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Friendship is considered a very important influence on our health&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,1,2,15],"tags":[45,24],"class_list":["post-1445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-law-of-attraction-in-action-series","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-friendship","tag-law-of-attraction"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Law of Attraction in Action: Friendship - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Law of Attraction in Action: Friendship - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is post 145 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Friendship is considered a very important influence on our health&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-07-12T16:01:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-06-05T02:32:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/05\/LOAlogo2-231x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Law of Attraction in Action: Friendship - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Law of Attraction in Action: Friendship - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"This is post 145 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Friendship is considered a very important influence on our health&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2011-07-12T16:01:13+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-06-05T02:32:16+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/05\/LOAlogo2-231x300.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html","name":"Law of Attraction in Action: Friendship - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/05\/LOAlogo2-231x300.jpg","datePublished":"2011-07-12T16:01:13+00:00","dateModified":"2011-06-05T02:32:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/05\/LOAlogo2-231x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/05\/LOAlogo2-231x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/law-of-attraction-in-action-friendship.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Law of Attraction in Action: Friendship"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1445"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1445\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1622,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1445\/revisions\/1622"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}