{"id":128,"date":"2009-03-20T03:29:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-20T03:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/03\/i-disagree-so-now-im-fat.html"},"modified":"2009-03-20T03:29:00","modified_gmt":"2009-03-20T03:29:00","slug":"i-disagree-so-now-im-fat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/03\/i-disagree-so-now-im-fat.html","title":{"rendered":"I Disagree, So Now I\u2019m Fat???"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I\u2019ve noticed a pattern in women that I don\u2019t like. Okay, some men do this too, but it\u2019s mainly women. I hear one get angry with someone and instead of addressing the issue, or challenging their point of view, they regress to schoolgirl tactics and call them names. Usually it\u2019s an attack on some aspects of their looks. It\u2019s a fact:<\/p>\n

For most women, a big Achilles heel is our looks, especially our bodies.<\/span><\/p>\n

Meghan McCain, daughter of senator John McCain, recently launched a political discussion that Laura Ingraham disagreed with and her jab was to comment on her plus size. I heard Meghan ask with frustration why people are so obsessed with our weight and said that no woman should be criticizing another woman\u2019s weight. I totally agree! she discussed it on her blog on The Daily Beast<\/a>. People need to get off of these nasty attacks on those of us who aren\u2019t perfect.<\/p>\n

Who is perfect? NOBODY!<\/span><\/p>\n

And what does my body have to do with my politics? Yes, I get it too! Earlier in the week someone blogged about the music industry in relation to my new Start & Run Your Own Record Label book. It was a civilized discussion, until someone who disagreed with a quote from the book launched an attack on me in the comments. This was a discussion about the music industry, yet part of her diatribe about why I wasn\u2019t qualified to write the book had comments on my looks, including saying I had large breasts, like there’s something wrong with that.<\/p>\n

What on earth do my breasts have to do with my ability to write a book???<\/span><\/p>\n

This person is bitter. No idea why. It was all so irrational. But while other women who’d been attacked like that might have been very hurt reading it, I just laughed at the absurdity. I don\u2019t know if it was a man or woman but assume it was a woman. I can\u2019t believe that a guy discussing the music industry would pick on my breasts. Maybe lust after them. ? But not refer to them in the context of my not being qualified. It\u2019s irrational but not uncommon.<\/p>\n

Men get picked on for what they say, women get jabs about their appearance. And people wonder why so many of us are people pleasers. I pleased everyone for so many years to compensate for the fact that I wasn\u2019t perfectly thin. The jabs got to me back then. Any fat comments hurt like heck! I\u2019d wince and then I\u2019d try harder to please. Living in DoorMatville was more about avoiding than living.<\/p>\n

Now I don\u2019t let those comments get to me. Instead, I think the person can\u2019t find anything really wrong so she picks on my body.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well I have news for the blog jabber. I love my breasts, and the rest of my body. I appreciate knowing that you had to sink low to find something to say about me to vent your negativity. My intelligence and skills couldn\u2019t motivate something specific to put down, since I know I\u2019m good and my book is excellent. So you pick on my breasts, which happen to be very nice.<\/p>\n

There are a lot of angry and frustrated people in the world who lash out to hurt others when they\u2019re hurting. Like the Dalai Lama, I have compassion for them as they must be hurting themselves. If someone does that to you, know it comes form a place of unhappiness and let it go. No one can make me feel fat or unattractive but me. You can blame others, but it\u2019s YOU who buys into what they say.<\/span><\/p>\n

No more I say! I had enough of that as a DoorMat. When you\u2019re happy, you can cut others slack as they try to be nasty in an attempt to soothe themselves. My lovely breasts and I are content. Those words can\u2019t hurt me and the girls. Don\u2019t let words hurt you. Choose your own positive perception. It makes life a lot sweeter!<\/span><\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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I\u2019ve noticed a pattern in women that I don\u2019t like. Okay, some men do this too, but it\u2019s mainly women. I hear one get angry with someone and instead of addressing the issue, or challenging their point of view, they regress to schoolgirl tactics and call them names. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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