{"id":120,"date":"2009-04-20T12:50:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-20T12:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/04\/law-of-attraction-in-action-choose-dont-wait-to-be-chosen.html"},"modified":"2009-04-20T12:50:00","modified_gmt":"2009-04-20T12:50:00","slug":"law-of-attraction-in-action-choose-dont-wait-to-be-chosen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/04\/law-of-attraction-in-action-choose-dont-wait-to-be-chosen.html","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction in Action: CHOOSE, Don&#8217;t Wait To Be Chosen"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s1600-h\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 154px;height: 200px\" src=\"https:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>This is post 35 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-series.html\">the posts in this series<\/a> to see how.<\/p>\n<p>The other day there was a discussion on a writers\u2019 board I participate in about getting a literary agent. The person had interest from one who reps her friend. She was surprised since this agent doesn\u2019t usually rep her type of book. Yet she was willing to give her the exclusive for several weeks to read her book proposal and felt guilty about letting other agents see it until agent #1 decided if she wanted to represent her. She gave this agent the power to rep the book if she wanted it, though she\u2019d never even met her or knew if she was the right one for her book. She asked if she should send the proposal to other agents or wait for agent #1&#8217;s answer. My reply was:<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">CHOOSE. Don&#8217;t wait to be chosen!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Settling for what you can get instead of waiting for or going after the best possibility rarely helps you. Too often we put our fate and choices into someone else\u2019s hands, without even thinking about it. It was automatic for me when I lived in DoorMatville. I settled for whatever I got. I continued being a teacher, which I never wanted to do in the first place but it gave me a job so I stayed. Yet I felt unfulfilled and longed for a creative career that felt satisfying. When I became single, I settled for the men who liked me and stayed, instead of begin selective. Back then I felt lost without a man. So I settled for whoever I could keep.<\/p>\n<p>But I learned that <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">when you settle, you give up your power to choose<\/span>. You take what\u2019s offered, or easily gotten, or handy, instead of waiting for the best choice.<\/p>\n<p>Many of us learn to settle growing up. We settle for the help that\u2019s offered, because it\u2019s there, instead of seeking out the best assistance. We settle for a job because it\u2019s offered and stay because it\u2019s easier. Many people settle for a romantic partner when they feel desperate for one, or at least overly anxious to partner up. Women who believe they need a man to complete them often stick with a guy who isn\u2019t a good fit or is abusive, just to have someone. Low self-esteem can make you take what you get instead of having the confidence to choose what you\u2019d actually like.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">CHOOSE. Don&#8217;t wait to be chosen!<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Settling tells the Universe that you\u2019ll take what you get and not try for more.<\/span> The Law of Attraction will support that by not attracting more opportunities.<\/p>\n<p>Settling usually leaves you unfulfilled. At first it feels secure. But at some point the dissatisfaction will hit you hard. I\u2019ve settled for agents who did nothing for me and for boyfriends who took without giving much. Settling leads to looking back with regret. Unfortunately, <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">the more you settle, the more chance it will reinforce this as your usual behavior<\/span>, so you\u2019ll continue to settle. The Law of Attraction listens to this message. Remember, you get back what you put out.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">CHOOSE. Don&#8217;t wait to be chosen!<\/span> Maureen Dowd said, &#8220;The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As I write this, I realized that I\u2019ve stayed signed to someone at a speaker\u2019s bureau who does nothing for me. It took me time to find her and I\u2019ve stayed with her because it\u2019s such a pain to shop for one. But now I realize that I\u2019ll never have the representation I need if I stay with her. So, this week I shall end our liaison. Close one door and another 2 open! I\u2019ll make sure the Universe hears me loud and clear so the Law of Attraction can work with me to attract the RIGHT speaking agent!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Don\u2019t automatically say yes to opportunities. Think about if they\u2019re right for you. Ask yourself:<\/span><\/p>\n<p>  * \u201cDo I want to be with this person or would I rather have someone with more qualities that I value?\u201d The truth will eventually get to you. Whether it\u2019s friendship or romance, it&#8217;s better to end it now, before you\u2019re in deeper and have more invested in the person.<\/p>\n<p>  * \u201cIs this person the right one to represent me in my career or for a legal issue or to handle my PR or speak on my behalf in a business situation?\u201d Just having someone to rep you for your business situation is far from a guarantee that he or she will do a good job. If you gut says it\u2019s not right, listen!<\/p>\n<p>   * \u201cDid I agree to hire someone because I assumed I should or I\u2019m too scared to wait for someone better?\u201d <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Settling isn\u2019t the antidote to fear or insecurity. It\u2019s taking the path of least resistance. <\/span>But it also gets you the least in terms of attracting the results you\u2019d really like.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">CHOOSE, Don&#8217;t wait to be chosen!<\/span> Settling isn\u2019t making a choice. It\u2019s having the choice made for you. It says you don\u2019t think you can do better, so the Law of Attraction doesn\u2019t bring you better.<\/p>\n<p>When you close a door, it leaves room for another one, or more, to open. Value yourself enough to know you should allow yourself to have choices. Choose the best people for your world. Close the doors to settling so the Law of Attraction can open more to choose from. <span style=\"font-weight: bold\"><\/p>\n<p>CHOOSE, Don&#8217;t wait to be chosen!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>See all the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-series.html\"><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Law of Attraction in Action Series.<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is post 35 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how. The other day there was a discussion on a writers\u2019 board I participate in about getting&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Law of Attraction in Action: CHOOSE, Don&#039;t Wait To Be Chosen - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/04\/law-of-attraction-in-action-choose-dont-wait-to-be-chosen.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Law of Attraction in Action: CHOOSE, Don&#039;t Wait To Be Chosen - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is post 35 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how. The other day there was a discussion on a writers\u2019 board I participate in about getting&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/04\/law-of-attraction-in-action-choose-dont-wait-to-be-chosen.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-04-20T12:50:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Law of Attraction in Action: CHOOSE, Don't Wait To Be Chosen - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/04\/law-of-attraction-in-action-choose-dont-wait-to-be-chosen.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Law of Attraction in Action: CHOOSE, Don't Wait To Be Chosen - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"This is post 35 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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