{"id":113,"date":"2009-05-02T12:59:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-02T12:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html"},"modified":"2009-05-02T12:59:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-02T12:59:00","slug":"playtime","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html","title":{"rendered":"Playtime!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyDRAQ6f2I\/AAAAAAAAA5c\/0jL93FsPjZM\/s1600-h\/file0001353416699.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 173px;height: 164px\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyDRAQ6f2I\/AAAAAAAAA5c\/0jL93FsPjZM\/s200\/file0001353416699.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>Lately I\u2019ve been working longer hours than usual. Part of it has been to compensate for time spent at the hospital to support my loved one with cancer and other family obligations. A lot of people count on me to be their rock. I try my best not to neglect those I care about. But in doing this and trying to get my writing done, I\u2019ve been neglecting me!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">When being kind and helpful to others, it\u2019s important to give enough to YOU!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I realized I\u2019ve been automatically passing on getting together with friends when I have free time so I can catch up on my work. I do need to catch up but I can\u2019t sacrifice all my playtime! Doing that mimics my behavior when I was a DoorMat and I don\u2019t intend to return to that mentality! That\u2019s why being conscious of your behavior is so important. It\u2019s normal to get onto auto-pilot when you\u2019re busy and trying to fit all your obligations in.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">We often do things by rote\u2014out of habit\u2014without realizing that we\u2019re hurting ourselves. Pay attention!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>The other day a friend called to invite me to a special event. He\u2019s a TV producer and was going to an evening with the cast, writers, and other people from the award-winning TV show, Damages. My first inclination was to say \u201cno.\u201d It was my only free night. I planned to stay home and write. But I caught myself. I needed some fun! I haven\u2019t had much lately. So I took a deep breath, pushed away all the reasons I shouldn\u2019t go, and accepted the invitation.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Making plans to do something fun can get you smiling.<\/span> It sure did for me. that\u2019s healthier than passing on fun to get more work done.<\/p>\n<p>Once I knew I was going, I looked forward to it. I always enjoy spending time with a friend. The event began at 7. When he asked if I could meet him at 6 so we could be early and get good seats, I hesitated. That meant leaving at 5:30 and would cut out some of my work time beforehand. But I caught myself and said yes. It was empty when we arrived. Had I not been conscious, <a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyC2wjdK7I\/AAAAAAAAA5U\/uZPR4afVUUg\/s1600-h\/damages_385x185_478426a.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px;float: right;cursor: pointer;width: 132px;height: 108px\" src=\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyC2wjdK7I\/AAAAAAAAA5U\/uZPR4afVUUg\/s200\/damages_385x185_478426a.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>I might have been upset that it wasn\u2019t necessary to arrive so early.<\/p>\n<p>I could have gotten more done. But <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">instead, I enjoyed my conversation with a friend.<\/span> And we ended up sitting in the center of the first row!<\/p>\n<p>The discussion was fascinating. <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Ted Danson<\/span> and <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Glenn Close<\/span> were literally right in front of me. I\u2019ve met many celebs so I wasn\u2019t star struck by them but it was FUN. I could see the twinkle in Danson\u2019s eyes when he told jokes. Seeing Glenn Close like that was a special trip for me. When the movie <span style=\"font-style: italic\">Fatal Attraction<\/span> came out, I got stopped all the time and told I looked like a dark haired version of her in that film. My hair was curly like hers was in the film back then. Kids would come up to me and say I looked like the lady with the knife. I heard it hundreds of times but couldn\u2019t see the resemblance.<\/p>\n<p>Until now. I saw it\u2014just a little\u2014in her profile. As she spoke, I noticed a bit of a similarity. It\u2019s more in the shape of our faces than our features. Not enough to merit all the comparisons in my opinion, but of course that was years ago. It was FUN to see her and try to find some resemblance. And FUN to be out and go for a bite after at an outdoor caf\u00e9. I can get lost in my wo<a href=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyCfkOVATI\/AAAAAAAAA5M\/VtTYj9aILpw\/s1600-h\/Ted+Danson-GLA-005826.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 81px;height: 124px\" src=\"https:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyCfkOVATI\/AAAAAAAAA5M\/VtTYj9aILpw\/s200\/Ted+Danson-GLA-005826.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>rk. I\u2019m glad I realized how much I needed to play!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Playtime is important, even for adults. We can get caught up in obligations and forget to have FUN. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>People Pleasers make that a lifestyle. Everything revolves around others when you live in DoorMatville. But it\u2019s not hard to change with consciousness and desire. Pay attention to how much you give. Then think about how much playtime you take. If you can\u2019t remember when you last had some or you only need one hand to count all the recent FUN times, make some plans to play!<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m making a more conscious effort to include downtime and playtime in my schedule. Make that effort too! <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Life is too short to not enjoy it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lately I\u2019ve been working longer hours than usual. Part of it has been to compensate for time spent at the hospital to support my loved one with cancer and other family obligations. A lot of people count on me to be their rock. I try my best not to neglect those I care about. But&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Playtime! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Playtime! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Lately I\u2019ve been working longer hours than usual. Part of it has been to compensate for time spent at the hospital to support my loved one with cancer and other family obligations. A lot of people count on me to be their rock. I try my best not to neglect those I care about. But&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-05-02T12:59:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyDRAQ6f2I\/AAAAAAAAA5c\/0jL93FsPjZM\/s200\/file0001353416699.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Playtime! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Playtime! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Lately I\u2019ve been working longer hours than usual. Part of it has been to compensate for time spent at the hospital to support my loved one with cancer and other family obligations. A lot of people count on me to be their rock. I try my best not to neglect those I care about. But&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2009-05-02T12:59:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyDRAQ6f2I\/AAAAAAAAA5c\/0jL93FsPjZM\/s200\/file0001353416699.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html","name":"Playtime! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyDRAQ6f2I\/AAAAAAAAA5c\/0jL93FsPjZM\/s200\/file0001353416699.jpg","datePublished":"2009-05-02T12:59:00+00:00","dateModified":"2009-05-02T12:59:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyDRAQ6f2I\/AAAAAAAAA5c\/0jL93FsPjZM\/s200\/file0001353416699.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SfyDRAQ6f2I\/AAAAAAAAA5c\/0jL93FsPjZM\/s200\/file0001353416699.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/05\/playtime.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Playtime!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=113"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}