{"id":102,"date":"2009-06-15T14:47:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-15T14:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/06\/law-of-attraction-in-action-forgiving-yourself.html"},"modified":"2009-06-15T14:47:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-15T14:47:00","slug":"law-of-attraction-in-action-forgiving-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/06\/law-of-attraction-in-action-forgiving-yourself.html","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction in Action: Forgiving YOURSELF"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This is post 42 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series<\/a> to see how.<\/p>\n

Last week in this Law of Attraction in Action series I discussed forgiving others. Something that I consider even more important is learning to forgive yourself. We often don\u2019t consider ourselves in the same category as forgiving others. If I\u2019ve learned any special lessons from being a recovering DoorMat it\u2019s that I\u2019m THE most important person in MY life just as YOU should be the most important person in YOUR life.<\/span> Therefore, you must cut yourself at least the same amount of slack that you give to others, if not more!<\/p>\n

Every time you beat yourself up for making a mistake or being imperfect, the Law of Attraction can read that as being unkind to you. And unloving.<\/span><\/p>\n

Guess what that attracts?<\/p>\n

Do you talk nicely to yourself, like “Way to go!” or “I look great today.” Or is your inner dialogue more commonly, \u201cI’m an idiot for that.” or “My stomach is flabby.” You know it’s wrong to hurt someone you care about. Apply that to self! Treat you as you would friends \u2013 use kind words and accept imperfections. If a friend goofs, would you bash her? If your buddy lost his girlfriend, would you encourage self-criticism? I doubt it.<\/p>\n

We reassure those we care about. Self-love means cutting yourself slack too! Don\u2019t tell the Universe that you\u2019re not worthy of the love behind self-forgiveness!<\/span><\/p>\n

We often don\u2019t realize what we do to ourselves. When I was a DoorMat and my friend trashed herself, I challenged how she could call herself a big idiot when she was such a bright person and normally did things well. She pointed out that I did the same thing. I insisted it was different! She laughed and said that\u2019s how she felt about herself. It got me thinking. When I put myself down, I feel worse. Now I understand that I attracted those feelings and reasons to feel them by being unforgiving to me. I\u2019ve made a conscious effort to tell myself it\u2019s okay to make mistakes.<\/p>\n

If you goof up, affirm, \u201cI forgive me for being human\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you talk to friends like you talk to yourself?
\u2022 “I’m a dummy for saying that.”
\u2022 “How stupid can I get!”<\/p>\n

Next time you goof, think about what you\u2019d say if a good friend did the same thing. Would you chastise or reassure? Come on, you know if a friend breaks something, messes up his car, or says the wrong thing, you\u2019d try to make them feel better, not name call. Yet we use harsh words on ourselves. When a friend’s luck turns sour, you remind them that some things aren\u2019t in their control and not everything is their fault. If others speak ill of this person you defend them.<\/p>\n

Now think of yourself as this person, your own best friend. And when you don\u2019t live up to your own expectations, forgive yourself and move on.<\/p>\n

I used awful words when I made \u201cbonehead\u201d moves, as I called them. ? Then it hit me. I was trying to love myself yet I didn\u2019t speak lovingly. That led to one of my best new habits. \u201cSilly me!\u201d The word silly is kinder. I\u2019ve made a habit of replacing bad words with silly. I\u2019m no longer retarded or a dummy. I\u2019m silly when I klutz out and silly when I break something. It took time to break habits of insulting myself when I goofed (another kinder word) and get into the habit of using the word silly, but it had a profound affect.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d say a derogatory word but immediately replace it with silly. \u201cThat was stupid, no silly.\u201d I still smile when I use it. It\u2019s instant self-forgiveness!<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter what I do wrong, I call myself silly and smile. This habit is VERY loving! It releases me from the anguish of berating myself and forgives me all at once. The more you love yourself, the less self-insults you\u2019ll tolerate. The more you forgive your glitches, the more you\u2019ll attract love. Pay attention to your reaction when you goof. Adopt a habit of instant forgiveness with kinder responses to what you did. Calling yourself an idiot for saying the wrong thing to your boss, being a klutz for spilling ketchup, a fool to believe someone you trusted, stupid for forgetting something, lowers self-confidence, diminishes self-love, and plain old isn\u2019t nice.<\/p>\n

Do it only if you want to attract more self-esteem busters. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mistakes can be seen as personal boners\u2014or lessons. Self-recrimination wastes energy. Forgiving and moving is loving. When you goof, do what you can to rectify mistakes and move on. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, even very smart people. Reassure yourself\u2014say it\u2019s okay! Every time I call myself silly or say, “oops, it’s okay,” instead of calling myself a name or getting angry, I smile and know I\u2019m forgiven. I was my own worst self-esteem enemy when I was a DoorMat, beating myself up and reliving mistakes and my shortcomings. Now I truly am my best friend, cheering myself on while forgiving my errors.<\/p>\n

When you can forgive yourself, it\u2019s easier to forgive others. Love yourself enough to give YOU that kindness of forgiving. <\/span>Without my own jabs, my self-esteem has never been stronger! And the Law of Attraction returns it all to me multiplied!<\/p>\n

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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