{"id":142,"date":"2012-10-22T05:54:15","date_gmt":"2012-10-22T05:54:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/keepingthefaith\/?p=142"},"modified":"2012-10-02T14:57:11","modified_gmt":"2012-10-02T14:57:11","slug":"good-all-the-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/keepingthefaith\/2012\/10\/good-all-the-time.html","title":{"rendered":"Good All The Time"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I heard humorist Jack Handey say that you should never criticize someone until you walk a mile in his or her shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, \u201cYou are a mile away and have their shoes.\u201d That\u2019s not bad advice, especially when it comes to telling others how to parent their children. If you want to kick over that notorious hornet\u2019s nest, do it from miles away, or at least make sure those shoes on your feet are running shoes.\u00a0While this is one of the quickest ways to get into serious trouble, this doesn\u2019t stop the practice from being all the rage these days, however. Websites, blogs, reality shows, that crazy old blue-haired lady at the park, the priest who has never had the experience of being an actual father, your grouchy neighbor whose own children are now on Social Security themselves: Everyone has an opinion \u2013 and words of instruction \u2013 for what to do and not do with your children.<\/p>\n

Personally, I don\u2019t appreciate very much of this unsolicited counsel (I don\u2019t know many who do). Yes, when we need advice we should seek it, and we should all bend listening ears to those people we genuinely trust and respect. But armchair parenting? No thanks.\u00a0That\u2019s why I couldn\u2019t believe that I became one of \u201cthose people,\u201d one who stuck his big nose into someone else\u2019s parental business. It happened so quickly, so impulsively, that I have gained a new understanding for those who sometimes rush in with uninvited guidance.<\/p>\n

I was sitting at my son\u2019s mid-week football practice, watching with a group of other parents when a mother stood to leave and called to her young lad: \u201cIt\u2019s time to leave; we have to go to church.\u201d Her son, not more than five-years-old, had been busy playing with his friends. He was not happy with the interruption. He popped off, \u201cNo! I don\u2019t want to go to church!\u201d\u00a0His mother answered, \u201cWell, then God will send you to hell with the devil and his angels if you don\u2019t go to church.\u201d And that is where I stopped being an observer and became an interfering, meddlesome busybody. \u201cDon\u2019t you ever say that to your child again!\u201d I snapped, not realizing at the time how loud my voice had become.<\/p>\n

For her part, the mother I chided looked as if she could have stuffed me and my little fold-up lounge chair into the trunk of my car. I don\u2019t blame her, for I had interfered at too close a distance and had embarrassed her publically. Yet, I just couldn\u2019t let her comment pass, because it was horribly wrong.\u00a0My outburst arose from the fact that I had been subjected to just such religious threats as a child myself. Church was not always something warm and welcoming, a place of community, peace, and learning. It was often a hard place with legalistic pressure, spiritual intimidation, and such high attendance requirements that I was never allowed to play in community sports programs as a child. My participation would prevent me from attending the midweek prayer meetings.<\/p>\n

Church was a difficult place, I logically concluded, because God was difficult. I was resentful and distrustful of him; a God whom I actually believed was eager to send a child to \u201chell with the devil and his angels\u201d for missing the occasional Sunday School class. When you believe this about God, it\u2019s hard to be enthusiastic about going to the building that bears his name.\u00a0Ironically, I have remained a church person my entire adult life, being in a pew or a pulpit most every Sunday. But I am no longer part of a rigid, hostile, fear-mongering faith because I no longer believe in a rigid, hostile, fear-mongering God.<\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t make me an enlightened expert sitting in my fold-up chair. I simply have learned that God is not one to be wary of or to be resented, because God is not a threat. The childhood prayer is correct: \u201cGod is good,\u201d and he is good all the time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I heard humorist Jack Handey say that you should never criticize someone until you walk a mile in his or her shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, \u201cYou are a mile away and have their shoes.\u201d That\u2019s not bad advice, especially when it comes to telling others how to parent their children. If you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":441,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,21,20,15],"tags":[3],"class_list":["post-142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church","category-god","category-grace","category-honesty","tag-ronnie-mcbrayer"],"yoast_head":"\nGood All The Time - Keeping The Faith<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/keepingthefaith\/2012\/10\/good-all-the-time.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Good All The Time - Keeping The Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I heard humorist Jack Handey say that you should never criticize someone until you walk a mile in his or her shoes. 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