{"id":62879,"date":"2011-10-25T11:18:43","date_gmt":"2011-10-25T16:18:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/?p=10140"},"modified":"2011-10-25T11:18:43","modified_gmt":"2011-10-25T16:18:43","slug":"jesus-body-found-in-japan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2011\/10\/jesus-body-found-in-japan.html","title":{"rendered":"Jesus Body found in Japan!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2011\/10\/HI380025001.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10141\" title=\"HI380025\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2011\/10\/HI380025001.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"423\" height=\"480\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/inventorspot.com\/articles\/jesus_body_diet_pills_those_who_praise_lard_31613\">The secret to getting hot like Jesus is in these diet pills. <\/a><\/p>\n<p>Why wait until Heaven to have Jesus Body when you can fly to Japan and buy these pills and have Jesus Body now?<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve always heard that first century Jews were hot, especially the ones with British accents. A British accent makes anything hotter&#8211;well, except Ringo.<\/p>\n<p>So what&#8217;s Jesus Body all about? Well, according to the packaging&#8217;s ad copy, this&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>New Discovery to be kept secret from others. <span style=\"color: #800000;\">(Awesome! I hope it tastes like saccharin. Can I be your lab rat?)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>This discovery is a secret. <span style=\"color: #800000;\">(You said that already.) <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I can lay it down because I am correct. <span style=\"color: #800000;\">(Lay what down? I&#8217;m confused.) <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>We will not make you sorry. <span style=\"color: #800000;\">(Should I be sorry? Did I offend you? I&#8217;m sorry if I did.)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Pleasure to have the real thing. <span style=\"color: #800000;\">(Wait. Are you coming on to me?)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I really longed for this. <span style=\"color: #800000;\">(Aw, me too. I like you. Give me. Jesus Body. Now!)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2011\/10\/tumblr_ltmor87QeV1r5wnhso1_500.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10143\" title=\"tumblr_ltmor87QeV1r5wnhso1_500\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2011\/10\/tumblr_ltmor87QeV1r5wnhso1_500.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"346\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2011\/10\/jesusbod2mar30-thumb-550x365-15.img_assist_custom.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10142\" title=\"jesusbod2mar30-thumb-550x365-15.img_assist_custom\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2011\/10\/jesusbod2mar30-thumb-550x365-15.img_assist_custom.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"331\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/jesus-body-found-in-japan\/\">Jesus Body found in Japan!<\/a> is a post from: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\">Jesus Needs New PR<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/feedads.g.doubleclick.net\/~a\/VhZFNuqJZeMdFz5S6Ift9AJkm18\/0\/da\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/feedads.g.doubleclick.net\/~a\/VhZFNuqJZeMdFz5S6Ift9AJkm18\/0\/di\" border=\"0\" ismap=\"true\"><\/img><\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/feedads.g.doubleclick.net\/~a\/VhZFNuqJZeMdFz5S6Ift9AJkm18\/1\/da\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/feedads.g.doubleclick.net\/~a\/VhZFNuqJZeMdFz5S6Ift9AJkm18\/1\/di\" border=\"0\" ismap=\"true\"><\/img><\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"feedflare\">\n<a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:yIl2AUoC8zA\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?d=yIl2AUoC8zA\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:dnMXMwOfBR0\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?d=dnMXMwOfBR0\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:D7DqB2pKExk\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?i=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:D7DqB2pKExk\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:YwkR-u9nhCs\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?d=YwkR-u9nhCs\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:F7zBnMyn0Lo\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?i=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:F7zBnMyn0Lo\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:7Q72WNTAKBA\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?d=7Q72WNTAKBA\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:V_sGLiPBpWU\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?i=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:V_sGLiPBpWU\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:qj6IDK7rITs\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?d=qj6IDK7rITs\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:KwTdNBX3Jqk\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?i=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:KwTdNBX3Jqk\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:l6gmwiTKsz0\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?d=l6gmwiTKsz0\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:gIN9vFwOqvQ\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?i=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:gIN9vFwOqvQ\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?a=Jm-ECi9g4uc:Ld2UfskSw6g:TzevzKxY174\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~ff\/JesusNeedsNewPr?d=TzevzKxY174\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a>\n<\/div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~r\/JesusNeedsNewPr\/~4\/Jm-ECi9g4uc\" height=\"1\" width=\"1\"\/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The secret to getting hot like Jesus is in these diet pills. Why wait until Heaven to have Jesus Body when you can fly to Japan and buy these pills and have Jesus Body now? I&#8217;ve always heard that first century Jews were hot, especially the ones with British accents. A British accent makes anything&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":445,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,99],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-62879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jesus","category-what"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Jesus Body found in Japan! - Jesus Needs New PR<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2011\/10\/jesus-body-found-in-japan.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jesus Body found in Japan! - Jesus Needs New PR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The secret to getting hot like Jesus is in these diet pills. Why wait until Heaven to have Jesus Body when you can fly to Japan and buy these pills and have Jesus Body now? I&#8217;ve always heard that first century Jews were hot, especially the ones with British accents. A British accent makes anything&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2011\/10\/jesus-body-found-in-japan.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jesus Needs New PR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-10-25T16:18:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/HI380025001.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"mpt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Jesus Body found in Japan! - Jesus Needs New PR","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2011\/10\/jesus-body-found-in-japan.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Jesus Body found in Japan! - Jesus Needs New PR","og_description":"The secret to getting hot like Jesus is in these diet pills. 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