{"id":62186,"date":"2011-08-26T20:51:29","date_gmt":"2011-08-27T01:51:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/?p=8892"},"modified":"2011-08-26T20:51:29","modified_gmt":"2011-08-27T01:51:29","slug":"a-blog-post-how-to-find-god-in-natural-disasters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2011\/08\/a-blog-post-how-to-find-god-in-natural-disasters.html","title":{"rendered":"A BLOG POST: How To Find God in Natural Disasters!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Okay, East Coast, it\u2019s official: God\u2019s put you on his geographical poop list. Now, don\u2019t fret about this; it happens to most geographical locations at one point or another. Now, there\u2019s no exact science to figuring out which areas of the world God hates the most\u2014though you\u2019re not quite at Toledo\u2019s level yet\u2014however, I do think that Tuesday\u2019s earthquake suggests that God\u2019s current hatred for you\u2014as in, the Northeast corridor between Richmond and Boston\u2014is slightly greater than his hatred for say, whatever current spot of ground Vladimir Putin is standing on. And trust me, God has never liked Putin\u2019s \u201ccurrent location\u201d.<\/p>\n

You might be thinking, \u201cuh, it was only a little earthquake.\u201d And yes, it was a rather small quake, a ground shaker that people from places like California and Alaska refer to as insignificant, almost enjoyable, like getting butterfly kisses from God. That said, for those living on the East Coast, in places like DC, New York City, or Mineral, Virginia, areas that haven\u2019t experienced a quake of that magnitude since the 19th Century, a 5.8 quake is definitely big enough for you to consider it a wakeup call, a sign from Heaven, or a kick in the spiritual backside. If that doesn\u2019t scare you, perhaps you might see it as a foreshadowing of what it would be like if Gov. Rick Perry became president. Whether you view it as one nation shaking under God or Rick Perry, the mental picture is scary.<\/p>\n

Now, for those of you who are atheists or Episcopalians and already discounting the whole \u201cGod\u2019s wakeup call\u201d theory as hogwash, you might consider the fact that this small earthquake happened during the same week that Hurricane Irene is expected to make landfall and get all Sodom-and-Gomorrahish on you and on the same exact day that Barbra Streisand\u2019s new record released nationwide. Call me crazy, but three natural disasters in one week doesn\u2019t just happen for no reason.<\/p>\n

Now, I realize that most of you reading this are hardcore crunchy blue staters that, when vacationing in Europe, sometimes forget and tell people you\u2019re from\u2014eh<\/em>?\u2014Canada. So duh, I\u2019m assuming that most of you are godless and have no idea that sometimes God speaks Hurricane. But that\u2019s okay; we all have our talents. I\u2019m no good at preparing seafood or accessorizing the color black, which makes us even. It\u2019s not your fault that you haven\u2019t learned how to over-spiritualize weather patterns, fault lines, and Streisand\u2019s career. I\u2019m here to help, to offer some insight on how you\u2014even if you\u2019re from Massachusetts and haven\u2019t thought about Gah<\/em>d since Christmas, 1972\u2014can become a bit fear-filled and confessional while facing the wrath of God this weekend via Irene.<\/p>\n

1) Think Biblical:<\/strong> In order to fully grasp how God might show up in the details of this week\u2019s disasters, you must first embrace biblical thinking. How do we Christians do this? By imagining that we\u2019re Moses or Elijah or heck, even Jesus. Since Moses found God in a burning bush and Elijah called to God to bring fire down from Heaven, and Jesus calmed raging stormy seas with the flip of his hand, it should come as no surprise how easy it is for us to visualize God using a cold front or the jet stream to maneuver his ways into our ways. This probably also explain why you\u2019re born-again aunt always updates her Facebook status to \u201cWatching the power of God\u201d during thunderstorms. Once you\u2019re in character, consider the fact that you now believe that God created the heavens and the earth, and thus, it only makes sense that he would occasionally use the heavens and the earth to encourage us to do good things or perhaps Republican things once in a while.<\/p>\n

2) Think Spiritual:<\/strong> While many Christians claim to see God in all of life\u2019s nooks and crannies\u2014you know, they claim to smell him in a rose or taste him while eating a plum. I suggest you start smaller by looking for God in the really big events, ie, after Irene blows through, walk around and look for oddly placed crosses. If a cross from a local church ends up destroying your rhododendron plant, that could be a sign. Or if you find a couple of 2X4s in the shape of a cross atop a pile of rubble, that\u2019s definitely sign. God loves using 2X4s. You might consider taking a picture of that and send it into your local news station. And who knows? Maybe Irene will bless you with a backyard etching of the face of Jesus or Mary or a face loosely based on the face of Jesus or Mary. We never know how God will speak to us, so we tend to keep an open mind.<\/p>\n

3) Look for God\u2019s Message:<\/strong> Since we read hundreds of accounts in the Bible of people believing that God spoke or acted or showcased his talent via nature\u2019s more uglier moments, anytime God sends or allows or doesn\u2019t stop natural disasters from showing up at our doorsteps, we expect a message! In most cases, there\u2019s always some sort of message attached, literal or otherwise. It\u2019s like getting a bouquet of flowers or an envelope dusted with anthrax, it doesn\u2019t just happen. There\u2019s almost always a fully spiritual explanation. So look for God\u2019s message. I think experiencing an earthquake is like getting a text message from God when my phone is on vibrate. But it\u2019s important to remember that the earthquake isn\u2019t the actual message, it\u2019s just a signal to let us know that you\u2019ve received a new message. It\u2019s essential that we check our messages. Have you checked Tuesday\u2019s message from God?<\/p>\n

4) Share the Message:<\/strong> God\u2019s messages are meant to be shared! So, once you discover what God\u2019s trying to say to you through Tuesday\u2019s earthquake or this weekend\u2019s hurricane, make sure you tell people about it. Now, depending on whose theological persuasion you listen to, God\u2019s message might need to be interpreted (which is \u201cChristian\u201d for deciphered) because sometimes God\u2019s messages come to us more heavily coded than the Book of Ezekiel. Still, a message exists. So find it. Decipher it. And then Tweet it!<\/p>\n

5) Believe in God\u2019s Mercy:<\/strong> Now listen, it\u2019s absolutely imperative that you believe that God is merciful, no matter what the devastation or how FEMA responds. God. Is. Merciful! (Repeat that two times.) With that in mind, if you don\u2019t figure out the message the first time, know that God won\u2019t leave you uninformed. God always keeps attaching the message again and again to whatever natural disaster happens to slip through his hands and onto your part of the world. So don\u2019t worry! Keep your mind focused on God\u2019s mercy. A pastor I knew in college always said: God\u2019s mercies are new every morning and occasionally they get measured on the Richter Scale. He was a Calvinist.<\/p>\n

6) Self reflect:<\/strong> No natural disaster is complete without self reflection. It\u2019s never easy for me to believe that I might be partially to blame for God sending natural disasters. It might be an easier stretch for you to believe that. But whether difficult or easy, it\u2019s a necessary evil. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask: Are you the Jonah of this week\u2019s story? Are YOU the reason God is pissed off and sending everybody from Atlanta to Detroit a text message? Only you can answer that question, of course. But as you\u2019re clearing your deck of loose items or shopping for toilet paper and bottled water at Wal-mart, it\u2019s something you might spend time thinking about. Perhaps if you are this weekend\u2019s \u201cJonah,\u201d you could confess or move to another state and possibly spare your friends and neighbors the wrath of Irene.<\/p>\n

So good luck, East Coast! And make sure your flashlights have batteries, just in case you lose electricity and God\u2019s message shows up in the middle of the night. But don\u2019t worry, even if you miss it, you\u2019ll have something to look forward to come winter when God\u2019s message blows in via a Nor\u2019easter.<\/p>\n

This post was originally written for a newspaper on the East Coast. This is the unedited version.<\/em><\/p>\n

A BLOG POST: How To Find God in Natural Disasters!<\/a> is a post from: Jesus Needs New PR<\/a><\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, East Coast, it\u2019s official: God\u2019s put you on his geographical poop list. Now, don\u2019t fret about this; it happens to most geographical locations at one point or another. 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