{"id":5999,"date":"2011-01-29T14:03:53","date_gmt":"2011-01-29T20:03:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/?p=5999"},"modified":"2011-05-03T16:55:36","modified_gmt":"2011-05-03T16:55:36","slug":"star-spangled-fish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2011\/01\/star-spangled-fish.html","title":{"rendered":"Star Spangled Fish"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Do you want to proclaim our nation’s righteous heritage?!<\/p>\n

Of course you do. Who doesn’t? Well, now you can! And it’s really easy to do!!! No former experience with explosives is required. How’s that for Good News?<\/p>\n

All you have to do is head on over to USAFish.com<\/a> and purchase yourself one of their amazing Star Spangled Fishies.<\/p>\n

Now before you get all critical and anti-capitalistic (and not to mention, reveal your hatred for God and toward our American soldiers), you need to stop and consider all of the really amazing Amerigelical<\/em> messages that this one little red, white, and blue fish decal will reveal to those who have the pleasure of sitting behind you in at traffic lights. Because this little durable plastic sea creature spreads a lot more than just America’s holy<\/span> righteous heritage! According to the folks at USAFish.com–whose motto is OLD GLORY for HIS GLORY (I’m not kidding.)–this fish does A LOT more.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But wait… there’s more!<\/p>\n

The Star-Spangled Fish\u2122 is inspired by the Christian values that uphold our great nation.\u00a0 The emblem is a symbolic reminder of the sacrifice Jesus made to free us from the bondage of sin and of the sacrifices made by all the brave patriots who have kept the USA free from tyranny and oppression.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So see? The Star Spangled Fish really is more than just another Jesus Fish decal or Truth-eating-Darwin Fish decal! When you stick this little fish on your minivan, you’re not only telling people that you LOVE AMERICA and that you SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, you’re telling people that you TiVo The Glenn Beck Show and that you’re still convinced there were<\/span> are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and that you still don’t think President Obama was born in America.<\/p>\n

And who doesn’t want to spread that sort of patriotic cheer?!<\/p>\n

So let me hear you shout…<\/p>\n

Amen! Praise the Lord! God bless FoxNews.com<\/a>!<\/p>\n

So who’s gonna buy a Star Spangled Fish?! It’s only $9.95 plus shipping.<\/p>\n

Sent to me by Hugh.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you want to proclaim our nation’s righteous heritage?! Of course you do. Who doesn’t? Well, now you can! And it’s really easy to do!!! No former experience with explosives is required. How’s that for Good News? 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