{"id":3812,"date":"2010-09-02T12:48:51","date_gmt":"2010-09-02T18:48:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/?p=3812"},"modified":"2011-05-03T17:00:15","modified_gmt":"2011-05-03T17:00:15","slug":"cue-the-biblical-conspiracy-theorists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/09\/cue-the-biblical-conspiracy-theorists.html","title":{"rendered":"Cue the biblical conspiracy theorists!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

According to The Daily Beast…<\/a><\/p>\n

\n
\n

Barak: Israel Willing to Split Jerusalem<\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

We\u2019ll believe it when we hear it from Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu: Israeli Defense Minister and former Prime Minister Ehud Barak tells Haaretz that his government is willing to split Jerusalem, a reversal for a regime that had previously insisted that Jerusalem \u201cremain the undivided capital of Israel.\u201d Barak says, “West Jerusalem and 12 Jewish neighborhoods that are home to 200,000 residents will be ours. The Arab neighborhoods, in which close to a quarter million Palestinians live, will be theirs. There will be a special regime in place along with agreed upon arrangements in the Old City, the Mount of Olives and the City of David.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\ufeffUh oh.<\/p>\n

No doubt the biblical prophesy peeps are jumping up and down about this! I’m betting that John Hagee has already contacted his publisher with a new book idea, possibly called It’s<\/em> Once Again the End of the World As We Know It–and I’m Excited To Sell You This Book<\/em>!<\/p>\n

And uh, is it an accident that I found this news from a website called The Daily (Mark of the) BEAST. I think not. It’s a sign!<\/p>\n

Here’s what’s going to happen…<\/p>\n

1. Pat Robertson will babble something mean and unintelligent about all of this being because of gays and lesbian.<\/p>\n

2. Sarah Palin will make remarks implying that President Obama is a Muslim, and thus, a potential candidate for Anti-Christ.<\/p>\n

3. Franklin Graham will chat with Anderson Cooper about the one occasion when he prayed with President Obama, but then confess that he still could be the Anti-Christ and blame President Obama’s father’s semen.<\/p>\n

4. Wednesday Night church meetings at Baptist and Pentecostal churches will begin focusing on End Times theology (Cue the onslaught of hideous fear-filled book covers and bible study handbooks from Lifeway!)<\/p>\n

5. Katy Perry will go on tour.<\/p>\n

6. “We Love You, Israel!” lapel pins will begin showing up on people’s ties and jacket collars…<\/p>\n

7. Christians will once again forget that a large population of the Palestinians living in Jerusalem are followers of Jesus<\/p>\n

8. You’ll consider taking that once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Holy Lands with your favorite Christian talk radio host<\/p>\n

9. Fox News will keep us afraid.<\/p>\n

10. And God? He’ll remain the same.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

According to The Daily Beast… Barak: Israel Willing to Split Jerusalem We\u2019ll believe it when we hear it from Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu: Israeli Defense Minister and former Prime Minister Ehud Barak tells Haaretz that his government is willing to split Jerusalem, a reversal for a regime that had previously insisted that Jerusalem \u201cremain the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":412,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,101],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3812","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church","category-end-times"],"yoast_head":"\nCue the biblical conspiracy theorists! - Jesus Needs New PR<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/09\/cue-the-biblical-conspiracy-theorists.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Cue the biblical conspiracy theorists! 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