{"id":2913,"date":"2010-07-05T19:08:21","date_gmt":"2010-07-06T01:08:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/?p=2913"},"modified":"2011-05-03T16:24:26","modified_gmt":"2011-05-03T16:24:26","slug":"are-you-an-atheist-block-god-online-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/07\/are-you-an-atheist-block-god-online-today.html","title":{"rendered":"Are you an atheist? Block God online today!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2010\/07\/Screen-shot-2010-07-05-at-7.27.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2914\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2010\/07\/Screen-shot-2010-07-05-at-7.27.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"502\" height=\"274\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">To an atheist, God is like porn. And as you might imagine, God is everywhere online. At times, God&#8217;s e-presence becomes quite overwhelming to the individual who is attempting to live a God-free life.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Now atheists can live a pure godless life online. No longer will you be led astray by the Holy Spirit or the Dalia Lama while doing Internet searches. You can overcome. And we can help. Why not take the temptation away from your computer and block all-things God from showing up in your online searches?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Heathenism is easy with <a href=\"http:\/\/www.GodBlock.com\">GodBlock.com<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.GodBlock.com\">GodBlock.com<\/a> is perfect for longtime atheists who have children they&#8217;re trying to keep from stumbling onto the story of Noah&#8217;s Ark or the news that Jesus loves them.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Are you a baby atheist? Still feeding on the &#8220;breast milk&#8221; of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris? Not quite ready or smart enough to graduate to the meat &amp; potatoes of the godless life? <a href=\"http:\/\/www.GodBlock.com\">GodBlock.com<\/a> is perfect for you!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Don&#8217;t let Google lead you astray and onto the straight &amp; narrow. Religious people are tricky these days. They may not be too smart, and some of them are downright disgusting, but even the most devout atheists can let their souls get stirred by the occasional speech by President Obama. So resist the urge to sit in front of the computer and allow your heart and soul to become aroused night after night by things like scripture, Christian blogs, and Jehovah&#8217;s Witnesses. Why not masturbate instead? <a href=\"http:\/\/www.GodBlock.com\">GodBlock.com<\/a> will help you do just that.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Let <a href=\"http:\/\/www.godblock.com\">GodBlock.com<\/a> help keep you, not only believing in the monkey, but spanking it too.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Order today and we&#8217;ll throw in our BlockBono device absolutely free. So join today and we&#8217;ll block your eyes and ears from whiny God-loving Bono and his chitter-chatter about Jesus, poor people, and himself starting today (A free gift just for signing up!).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Sent to me by <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/nmaestas\">Nick<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">(**This could be old news.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To an atheist, God is like porn. And as you might imagine, God is everywhere online. At times, God&#8217;s e-presence becomes quite overwhelming to the individual who is attempting to live a God-free life. Now atheists can live a pure godless life online. No longer will you be led astray by the Holy Spirit or&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":412,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2913","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are you an atheist? Block God online today! - Jesus Needs New PR<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/07\/are-you-an-atheist-block-god-online-today.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are you an atheist? Block God online today! - Jesus Needs New PR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"To an atheist, God is like porn. And as you might imagine, God is everywhere online. At times, God&#8217;s e-presence becomes quite overwhelming to the individual who is attempting to live a God-free life. Now atheists can live a pure godless life online. No longer will you be led astray by the Holy Spirit or&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/07\/are-you-an-atheist-block-god-online-today.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jesus Needs New PR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-07-06T01:08:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-05-03T16:24:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Screen-shot-2010-07-05-at-7.27.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Matthew Paul Turner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Are you an atheist? 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