{"id":1527,"date":"2010-03-29T19:31:59","date_gmt":"2010-03-30T01:31:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/?p=1527"},"modified":"2011-05-03T17:03:16","modified_gmt":"2011-05-03T17:03:16","slug":"what-the-hell-went-wrong-with-those-christians-in-michigan-10-guesses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/03\/what-the-hell-went-wrong-with-those-christians-in-michigan-10-guesses.html","title":{"rendered":"What the hell went wrong with those Christians in Michigan? (10 guesses)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2010\/03\/52990383.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1529\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/2010\/03\/52990383.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"586\" height=\"340\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">1. Nobody invited them to small group.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">2. They&#8217;re convinced that Chris Tomlin is a homosexual.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">3. The pharmacies in their town were all fresh out of acne medication and moisturizer (And apparently, Abreva).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">4. They take the Book of Ezekiel literally.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">5. Seven of them are still virgins.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">6. This is what happens when you read Brian McLaren.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">7. They were practicing a re-enactment of the song &#8220;I&#8217;m in the Lord&#8217;s Army.&#8221; Yes sir.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">8. They only planned to put an end to the church potluck.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">9. Any chance they were altar boys at a Catholic church in Wisconsin?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">10. They read their church&#8217;s bylaws and found the words &#8220;social justice.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">BONUS GUESS: Left. Behind.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">What do you think went wrong? \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2010\/03\/30\/us\/30militia.html?hp\">The New York Times Story here.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. Nobody invited them to small group. 2. They&#8217;re convinced that Chris Tomlin is a homosexual. 3. The pharmacies in their town were all fresh out of acne medication and moisturizer (And apparently, Abreva). 4. They take the Book of Ezekiel literally. 5. Seven of them are still virgins. 6. This is what happens when&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":412,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jesus-needs-new-pr"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What the hell went wrong with those Christians in Michigan? (10 guesses) - Jesus Needs New PR<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/03\/what-the-hell-went-wrong-with-those-christians-in-michigan-10-guesses.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What the hell went wrong with those Christians in Michigan? (10 guesses) - Jesus Needs New PR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"1. Nobody invited them to small group. 2. They&#8217;re convinced that Chris Tomlin is a homosexual. 3. The pharmacies in their town were all fresh out of acne medication and moisturizer (And apparently, Abreva). 4. They take the Book of Ezekiel literally. 5. Seven of them are still virgins. 6. This is what happens when&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/03\/what-the-hell-went-wrong-with-those-christians-in-michigan-10-guesses.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jesus Needs New PR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-03-30T01:31:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-05-03T17:03:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.jesusneedsnewpr.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/52990383.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Matthew Paul Turner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What the hell went wrong with those Christians in Michigan? (10 guesses) - Jesus Needs New PR","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesusneedsnewpr\/2010\/03\/what-the-hell-went-wrong-with-those-christians-in-michigan-10-guesses.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What the hell went wrong with those Christians in Michigan? (10 guesses) - Jesus Needs New PR","og_description":"1. Nobody invited them to small group. 2. They&#8217;re convinced that Chris Tomlin is a homosexual. 3. The pharmacies in their town were all fresh out of acne medication and moisturizer (And apparently, Abreva). 4. They take the Book of Ezekiel literally. 5. Seven of them are still virgins. 6. 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