{"id":841,"date":"2006-03-31T05:55:15","date_gmt":"2006-03-31T05:55:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/jesuscreed\/2006\/03\/forgiveness-and-the-face-2.html"},"modified":"2006-03-31T05:55:15","modified_gmt":"2006-03-31T05:55:15","slug":"forgiveness-and-the-face-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesuscreed\/2006\/03\/forgiveness-and-the-face-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Forgiveness and the Face 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday’s post emphasized intersubjectivity<\/em> as central to forgiveness. Today we want to look at Sandage and Shults’ The Faces of Forgiveness<\/em> and the issues of “saving face”, what the faces in a “face to face” look like, at “systemic estrangement,” relational hermeneutics, and a model of the forgiveness process. What’s on your face when you are estranged? How do you treat the other when you don’t want forgiveness?
\nThere’s a lot here, and there’s a lot of good things here. I hope you buy this book, even if it requires serious attention.
\nResearch shows that there are faces of conflict, faces of violence and faces of intimacy. I thought of putting “smileys” here, but am not sure I could genuinely match the faces.
\nSystemic estrangement — that’s the real issue, isn’t it? A passing problem with someone can blow over us and by us and we can be restored; but systemic estrangement requires work. Put this on some list near your desk<\/strong>, especially husbands and wives. Estrangement is developed by:
\nTotalizing the other: he’s nothing but a jerk.
\nScapegoating: a person is blamed for all the group’s problems.
\nExclusion: otherness either by banishment or by absorption.
\nSelf-surveillance: inner sense of being watched (driven by guilt).
\nNarcissistic families: blame is everyone else.
\nTo deal with all of this, we develop a system of attribution: we attribute blame to the other, and we develop stories of facework (confession, excuse, justification, refusal).
\nForgiveness, then, has two other networks that shape it: our religious identity and the role of sacred faces (how we envision God’s face).
\nSo, here’s a model of forgiveness: we go through three phases. First, we engage in lament; second, we encourage empathy and humility; third, we extend our narrative horizons to include the other.
\nWow, there’s a lot here, but I think this is very good stuff for us to ponder and to factor into our understanding of forgiveness. No better topic as we approach Holy Week.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday’s post emphasized intersubjectivity as central to forgiveness. Today we want to look at Sandage and Shults’ The Faces of Forgiveness and the issues of “saving face”, what the faces in a “face to face” look like, at “systemic estrangement,” relational hermeneutics, and a model of the forgiveness process. What’s on your face when you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":298,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-841","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-meanderings"],"yoast_head":"\nForgiveness and the Face 2 - Jesus Creed<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesuscreed\/2006\/03\/forgiveness-and-the-face-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Forgiveness and the Face 2 - Jesus Creed\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Yesterday’s post emphasized intersubjectivity as central to forgiveness. 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