{"id":4639,"date":"2009-03-16T06:00:45","date_gmt":"2009-03-16T06:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/jesuscreed\/2009\/03\/behind-the-scenes-by-pw-1.html"},"modified":"2009-03-16T06:00:45","modified_gmt":"2009-03-16T06:00:45","slug":"behind-the-scenes-by-pw-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/jesuscreed\/2009\/03\/behind-the-scenes-by-pw-1.html","title":{"rendered":"Behind the Scenes (by PW)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently read an article about trust<\/a> and took The Trust Test<\/a>.
\nThis article raised all sorts of flags of recognition for me as a
\nministry spouse. The article points to many common pitfalls of not
\nlistening to our inner trust-o-meter when we should. Like it or not,
\nthere are many times when the people of God put you into trust-o-meter
\nsituations, but often ministry spouses have either turned off their
\nmeter, are in denial, or do not feel you have power to act upon what
\nthey know.<\/p>\n

Did you take the trust test? What was your score? What do you think
\nabout this question of developing a trust-o-meter; developing a
\nveritable grid that you can use to measure up situations and know if
\nyou can trust a person or not? How do you think ministry people should
\ntrust? At what point does it spell disaster for the spouse of a
\nminister, and at what point has this already saved your life?<\/b><\/p>\n

What is your advice about trusting others in the community of faith when you are a leader?<\/b><\/p>\n


\nUnfortunately, there are “trust barracudas” in the church, who can sense your denial or avoidance from a mile away, and they will strike at this weak point. According to the article, “…We’re lying to ourselves, pretending we’re at ease when we know we aren’t, so. . . we don’t have a clue how to live. We’re often rudely awakened, bitterly disappointed, shockingly betrayed.”<\/p>\n

One example from my own experience: It did not matter what I said, the comments from a person who was trying to “get to know me better” in a new parish were relentless in poking at me personally. I knew immediately I could not trust this person. In my younger days, I may not have paid much attention to the trust-o-meter and I would have enduring the poking, or I felt powerless to return comments appropriate to the situation. I was responsible to be nice to these people, right!? However, their comments or disclosures about me would then sneak up on me later, and I would feel shockingly betrayed.<\/p>\n

One barracuda in our parish would verbally jab, poke or scathe comments my way: if I said X, s\/he would say Z instantly, and add personal comments on my size, shape or apparel (inappropriate at best). I have received this type of treatment from individuals at several of our parishes throughout the years. Because of this, I have fine tuned my trust-o-meter carefully. I had to learn “how to live” in ministry.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, now I can usually see a barracuda coming before it arrives and try to avoid being with that person alone. Currently, I am praying before I have another encounter with one particular barracuda–and believe me I am working on a plan to have someone else with me when I “get to know her better.” This is now one of the things I pray for often in our ministry–and my spouse depends on my trust-o-meter. I feel it is an area that I can uniquely pray about in the grand scheme of things.
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently read an article about trust and took The Trust Test. This article raised all sorts of flags of recognition for me as a ministry spouse. The article points to many common pitfalls of not listening to our inner trust-o-meter when we should. 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