{"id":633,"date":"2011-03-28T11:38:34","date_gmt":"2011-03-28T15:38:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/intentchopra\/?p=633"},"modified":"2011-03-28T11:38:34","modified_gmt":"2011-03-28T15:38:34","slug":"how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html","title":{"rendered":"How Men Can Be Wise About Women (Part 3)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>One of the things that women often say they want from men is a spiritual  relationship. In an age where &#8220;empowerment&#8221; is the watch word, you hardly ever  hear a word that is at least as important: fulfillment. A spiritual relationship  can be defined as one that brings the deepest fulfillment. What I hear from  women is that they yearn for men to join them in finding that kind of  fulfillment, but, sad to say, I don&#8217;t often hear the same thing from men. Which  means that there is a gender gap to be closed. The wider the gap, the more  dissatisfied the two sexes will be with each other. The more the gap is closed,  the more the two sexes will be able to trust and love each other.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>This isn&#8217;t an axe to be ground, either by me or women as a political bloc.  Empowerment was a necessary step, as it still is, because in traditional  marriages, the wife gave away too much of herself. There was little choice for  her in a society where jobs, money, status and opportunity were so skewed to the  male side. Now society has reached some degree of self-awareness. That&#8217;s a good,  evolutionary step. Even if equality hasn&#8217;t been achieved, at least a woman now  has a right to claim her own life as belonging to her.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Yet I meet many women who feel equal enough \u2014 that isn&#8217;t their problem. Their  problem is feeling unfulfilled. The negative side of this feeling is a sense of  anxiety about their existence or vague depression. They don&#8217;t know what they  want from men, or from relationships in general. The positive side is a yearning  for a spiritual relationship. After all, arriving at more freedom and equality  isn&#8217;t an end unto itself. Freedom is a platform for greater fulfillment, meaning  that it allows new desires to reach their goal. What are these new desires?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Relating to men emotionally, with trust that your feelings are valued and  won&#8217;t be judged.<\/li>\n<li>Bonding at a deep level, with complete trust that you are accepted.<\/li>\n<li>Exploring who you really are and who your partner really is \u2014 in other  words, discovering your soul.<\/li>\n<li>Letting love and intimacy grow without imposing boundaries or letting fear  get in the way.<\/li>\n<li>Following a higher purpose together.<\/li>\n<li>Living in accord with Nature, not despoiling the planet.<\/li>\n<li>Raising a generation of children who can be more fulfilled than this  generation.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As you can see, this outline of a spiritual relationship amounts to a kind of  grand vision, but it isn&#8217;t an agenda. The world&#8217;s wisdom traditions mostly talk  in the singular, about how one soul can reach heaven or enlightenment or  Nirvana. Yet human beings have always been social, and the growth of the  individual \u2014 leaving aside the small fraction of people suited to be monks and  recluses \u2014 occurs in a family setting. Looking around today, one sees countless  families where inner growth is wanted, yet it&#8217;s not an easy subject to talk  about. Traditional religion is on the wane, and more importantly, the spiritual  side of life in modern society has been divorced from &#8220;real life,&#8221; meaning the  material side.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Which means that in order to close the gap between the two sexes and achieve  a spiritual relationship, men have to be aware that they have a part to play,  and women have to speak up about their deepest desires. The path begins with  honesty and willingness. I realize that men tend to be blamed for being too  controlling, emotionally distant, afraid of intimacy, and absorbed in work far  more than in relationship. Instead of issuing these blanket complaints, we need  to begin where we are. Both sexes are under the same external pressures and  subject to stereotyping. The only way to get out of that situation is through a  process. Processes take time, yet in the end results are reached. The process of  growing spiritually happens one person at a time, which is fortunate, because  nobody has to pursue a grand design for transformation. All you need is the  right partner, and fulfilling that need begins by saying what you want, what you  dream about for yourself, and what kind of fulfillment is lacking. If men and  women started talking that way to each other, particularly when young before  rigid habits have set in, men would become wise about women, and vice versa.  What&#8217;s more important?<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.intent.com\/deepakchopra\/blog\"> <img decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: 0px;margin: 0px;padding: 0px\" src=\"https:\/\/www.intent.com\/sites\/intent.com\/sites\/134\/badges\/dc.gif\" alt=\"Deepak Chopra on Intent.com\" \/> <\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.deepakchopra.com\">deepakchopra.com<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/DeepakChopra\">Follow Deepak on Twitter<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; One of the things that women often say they want from men is a spiritual relationship. In an age where &#8220;empowerment&#8221; is the watch word, you hardly ever hear a word that is at least as important: fulfillment. A spiritual relationship can be defined as one that brings the deepest fulfillment. What I hear&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":125,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29],"class_list":["post-633","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships","tag-femininity","tag-gender","tag-gender-differences","tag-gender-equality","tag-gender-roles","tag-gender-stereotypes","tag-masculinity","tag-relationships-2","tag-sex-differences"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Men Can Be Wise About Women (Part 3) - Deepak Chopra and Intent<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Men Can Be Wise About Women (Part 3) - Deepak Chopra and Intent\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&nbsp; One of the things that women often say they want from men is a spiritual relationship. In an age where &#8220;empowerment&#8221; is the watch word, you hardly ever hear a word that is at least as important: fulfillment. A spiritual relationship can be defined as one that brings the deepest fulfillment. What I hear&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Deepak Chopra and Intent\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-03-28T15:38:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.intent.com\/sites\/intent.com\/files\/badges\/dc.gif\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How Men Can Be Wise About Women (Part 3) - Deepak Chopra and Intent","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How Men Can Be Wise About Women (Part 3) - Deepak Chopra and Intent","og_description":"&nbsp; One of the things that women often say they want from men is a spiritual relationship. In an age where &#8220;empowerment&#8221; is the watch word, you hardly ever hear a word that is at least as important: fulfillment. A spiritual relationship can be defined as one that brings the deepest fulfillment. What I hear&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html","og_site_name":"Deepak Chopra and Intent","article_published_time":"2011-03-28T15:38:34+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.intent.com\/sites\/intent.com\/files\/badges\/dc.gif"}],"author":"Admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html","name":"How Men Can Be Wise About Women (Part 3) - Deepak Chopra and Intent","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.intent.com\/sites\/intent.com\/files\/badges\/dc.gif","datePublished":"2011-03-28T15:38:34+00:00","dateModified":"2011-03-28T15:38:34+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/#\/schema\/person\/40a7773935ae623bbb543302f1b3520a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.intent.com\/sites\/intent.com\/files\/badges\/dc.gif","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.intent.com\/sites\/intent.com\/files\/badges\/dc.gif"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/2011\/03\/how-men-can-be-wise-about-women-part-3.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How Men Can Be Wise About Women (Part 3)"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/","name":"Deepak Chopra and Intent","description":"Beliefnet Voices","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/#\/schema\/person\/40a7773935ae623bbb543302f1b3520a","name":"Admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/e37\/e379d06bb2d8f3928b8fb1008e150364x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/e37\/e379d06bb2d8f3928b8fb1008e150364x96.jpg","caption":"Admin"},"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/author\/gbrown"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/633","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/125"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=633"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/633\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":636,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/633\/revisions\/636"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=633"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=633"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/intentchopra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=633"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}