{"id":158,"date":"2011-05-24T11:36:19","date_gmt":"2011-05-24T15:36:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/insweetcompany\/?p=158"},"modified":"2011-05-24T11:36:19","modified_gmt":"2011-05-24T15:36:19","slug":"rising","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/2011\/05\/rising.html","title":{"rendered":"Rising"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cWe must be more sensitive to how our actions affect others if we are to survive as a species.\u201d <\/em>— Miriam Polster, IN SWEET COMPANY: CONVERSATIONS WITH EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN ABOUT LIVING A SPIRITUAL LIFE<\/p>\n

For the past 21 months, I\u2019ve been engaged in a righteous battle with an adult bully. it was as if all the bullies I\u2019d ever encountered throughout time threw a pinch of their own particular brand of dastardly expertise into a pot, stirred it up, and took form. \u201cTyranta\u201d was a skilled liar, petty, mean-spirited, critical to the point of harassment, vindictive, and so on and so forth. She consistently tried to cut off my head in order to make herself feel tall.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t see this about her when we first met, partly because she was trying to charm me into a business negotiation, partly because I never, in a million years, envisioned such a person would find their way into my sphere of influence. As events unfolded, I naively believed that if I calmly responded to her allegations and gave her an accurate account of events she would come round.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t take long before I got sucked into the drama —\u00a0 I became annoyed, irritated, indignant, fried. I spent an extraordinary amount of time and energy churning and sighing and trying not to churn or sigh. I rolled my eyes in exasperation. I moaned. I did not want to fight. How could something like this happen to me?<\/p>\n

When I asked the \u201cright\u201d question, the \u201cWhat was the lesson I could learn from this experience?\u201d question, the \u201cWhat was God trying to teach me?\u201d question, Truth made a path to me. In the great economy of God, there were many truths to learn from this experience.<\/p>\n

They include:<\/p>\n

I could not change her behavior no matter what I said or did. I could, however, change myself.
\nI must not underestimate her wiliness or expect she will play by anyone\u2019s rules.
\nI must not take her comments or behavior personally.
\nI must maintain my peace and integrity.
\nI must not make this experience my whole life.
\nI must take care of myself during this stressful time.
\nI must protect myself and others she could hurt in the future.
\nI must not remain silent.
\nI must reach out and get support.
\nI must thoroughly document my experience.
\nI must devote time and energy to mounting and presenting a case in the courts, one based on concrete facts, not emotions.
\nOnce it is over, I must let it all go and move on, live a meaningful life.<\/p>\n

Tyranta had come into my life to teach me how to operate more fully in the world. And I am grateful for this.<\/p>\n

In the end, we had our day in court. I told the Truth. I was prepared, present, strong, cogent and calm. Tyranta was caught in a half dozen lies, was silenced by the bailiff on four separate occasions. She left the courtroom in a huff.<\/p>\n

I write this now, before the decision has been rendered. I did the best I could, beyond what I was previously able or thought possible. I hope the judge will rule in my favor. Mostly I also hope my feelings about the outcome will not be dependent on a decision by an external authority.<\/p>\n

For additional information on dealing with adult bullies, please visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bullyonline.org\/workbully\/serial.htm<\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.lifeafteradultbullying.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Your thoughts?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWe must be more sensitive to how our actions affect others if we are to survive as a species.\u201d — Miriam Polster, IN SWEET COMPANY: CONVERSATIONS WITH EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN ABOUT LIVING A SPIRITUAL LIFE For the past 21 months, I\u2019ve been engaged in a righteous battle with an adult bully. it was as if all…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":231,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[52,53,28],"class_list":["post-158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-transformation","category-spiritual-journey","tag-adult-bullying","tag-miriam-polester","tag-uplifting-quotes"],"yoast_head":"\nRising - In Sweet Company<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/2011\/05\/rising.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Rising - In Sweet Company\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cWe must be more sensitive to how our actions affect others if we are to survive as a species.\u201d — Miriam Polster, IN SWEET COMPANY: CONVERSATIONS WITH EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN ABOUT LIVING A SPIRITUAL LIFE For the past 21 months, I\u2019ve been engaged in a righteous battle with an adult bully. it was as if all…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/2011\/05\/rising.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"In Sweet Company\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-05-24T15:36:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Margaret Wolff\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Rising - In Sweet Company","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/2011\/05\/rising.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Rising - 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She speaks and writes about things women care about: how to make our lives and our work be about what we value most; how to navigate challenge and change; how to live with integrity and grace, to look at error in ourselves and others in a forgiving way and view life as an invitation to transform ourselves into instruments for the Greater Good. \"I laughed, I cried, I was silent, I cheered. Most of all, I loved.\" Spoken by a woman at In Sweet Company Retreat, these words express what women experience when Margaret engages them in dynamic, soul-searching conversations about their lives. Margaret holds degrees in art therapy, psychosynthesis, and leadership and human behavior. Her work takes her to universities, to conferences and retreat settings, to living rooms and board rooms -- wherever women gather. Her articles, essays, and stories are featured in numerous magazines; her women\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s spirituality retreats are held throughout the U.S. Margaret\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s last book, In \"Sweet Company: Conversations With Extraordinary Women About Living a Spiritual Life\" (Jossey Bass), is a collection of intimate conversations she had with 14 famous women of various ages, faiths, and backgrounds about how their spirituality nourishes them and serves as a steady compass for their decision-making. Olympia Dukakis, Riane Eisler, Zainab Salbi, Margaret Wheatley, Sri Daya Mata, Lauren Artress, and other women artists, activists, religious leaders, and visionary thinkers shared their lives with her. You can too!","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/author\/mwolff"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/231"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=158"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":159,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158\/revisions\/159"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/insweetcompany\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}