{"id":309,"date":"2010-11-27T19:31:16","date_gmt":"2010-11-27T19:31:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html"},"modified":"2010-11-27T19:31:16","modified_gmt":"2010-11-27T19:31:16","slug":"the-joy-of-family-rituals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html","title":{"rendered":"The Joy of Family Rituals"},"content":{"rendered":"
Barbara Biziou is a national expert on every
\nday rituals. She has a couple of fabulous books that
\nfocus on personal and family rituals and teach people
\nhow to evoke practical spirituality in their lives in
\nways that mesh well with their current lifestyle. The
\nJoy of Ritual<\/a>:
\nSpiritual Recipes To<\/a><\/b>
\nCelebrate Milestones, Ease Transitions and Make
\nEveryday Sacred<\/b><\/a> has
\nbeen enjoyed by people from diverse cultures around the
\nworld.<\/p>\n

<\/font>\"Family<\/a><\/span>Her book,<\/font><\/font> The
\nJoy of Family<\/a><\/b>
\nRituals: Recipes for Everyday Living<\/b><\/a>, was recently just released in paperback. It<\/font><\/font> offers wonderfully
\ncreative solutions to the challenges faced by modern
\nfamilies. It can help even the mos<\/font>t loving family share
\nmore meaningful moments together — even in the face of
\nmundane family activities like meal time and bed time —
\nas well as help bring healing and wholeness to families
\nin distress. She says the recipe for a successful,
\nloving family life is merging the sacred with the every
\nday. We spoke to her about the importance of family rituals.
\n<\/font><\/font><\/p>\n


<\/font><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Beliefnet<\/font><\/font>: Do we need ritual in our lives and what do we
\nhave to gain from it?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Barbara Biziou<\/font><\/font><\/b>: Ritual, for me, is a way of bringing the sacred
\ninto your life; a well-thought out, structured situation
\nin which to open to “spirit” that moves you
\nfrom one state of consciousness to another. As a result,
\nyou often find your life changing and evolving in very
\npositive ways. They reinforce our own desires and
\nstrengthen our ability to achieve them. They open up
\nresources we weren’t aware we had and help us slow
\ndown from the hectic pace of life.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

How exactly does it work?<\/i><\/p>\n

A ritual can take five minutes or five hours. It can
\ntake five days. A ritual is a consciously designed set
\nof behaviors designed to evoke certain feelings and
\nexperiences that are needed to effect change in one’s
\nlife. It works on many levels. It influences the
\nsubconscious mind. Part of the psyche doesn’t know the
\ndifference between performing a ritual and actually
\nexperiencing an event. When you complete a ritual, you
\nare telling yourself you have completed whatever you
\nhave symbolically enacted. For example, if you take a
\nritual bath for purification, part of you literally
\nbelieves you have released the past. And so it becomes
\ntrue in your life.<\/p>\n

<\/b>
\n
<\/b>\"basketofsupport.jpg\"<\/a><\/span>Why are family rituals so important?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

To me family ritual is the anchor that really holds
\nthe family together, the glue. One of my inspirations
\nfor writing The Joy of Family Ritual<\/i> is what I
\nhave sadly noticed in families who do not share special
\nrituals: they often lack a deep connection, don’t have
\na rewarding family support system and the children are
\nfeeling very alienated. Modern life is moving too fast
\nfor people. Everyone has such a tight schedule that
\nunless you make room for structured family rituals you
\ncan easily go for weeks, or even months, without truly
\nconnecting to one another. Kids in these culture suffer
\ngreatly when they are not feeling connected to a family
\nunit or a healthy community. They become disconnected,
\nstressed and in some case depressed. On The very deep
\nend of it you see drug use and kids acting out
\nviolently, against others and themselves.<\/p>\n

Are rituals created for families different than those
\nfor adults?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

The same format is true–having a beginning, an
\nending, a clear intention — the difference would be
\nthat when you are doing rituals with children that you
\nstructure them to the age appropriate level. For little
\nkids, you’d make it a shorter ritual and you’d pay
\nmore attention to making it appropriate to who is
\ninvolved. There are different ways to include children
\nand make them feel they are participating. It’s also
\ntaking existing rituals — mealtime, bath time and
\nbedtime — and putting them in a more sacred container.
\nYou’d be amazed at how sharing a simple blessing at
\nmealtime can enhance people’s lives!<\/p>\n


\n<\/b><\/p>\n

Sounds like ritual can take the ho-hum out of family life.<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

Right. And it doesn’t have to be more work. That’s
\nimportant for people to know… because people who are
\nso stressed out anyway will feel overwhelmed, as if
\nritual is yet<\/i> another thing<\/i> they must fit
\ninto the day. I believe ritual actually gives you more
\nfree time because many of the recipes in The Joy of
\nFamily Ritual<\/i> allow the children to take
\nresponsibility for part of it.<\/p>\n


\n
<\/font>
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

As the American family continues to change, how can
\nritual help the transformational process with
\nstepfamilies and alternative families?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

With so many extended families and alternative
\nfamilies–single parents, re-marriages and stepparents,
\nadoption and same sex parents– families are changing
\ntoday. Sometimes there are four sets of parents per
\nchild! Ritual can help them adjust and change with the
\ntimes and include everyone. We are constantly shifting
\nindividually and collectively as a family and it is
\nimportant to mark transitions with <\/i>rituals… for
\nbecoming a parent, blessing a new baby, becoming a
\nsibling, puberty and adoption, birthday and a parents
\nday that include step parents and god mothers. It’s a
\ncelebration for kids to have in stead of traditional
\nmother or fathers day with their step or god parents; so
\nthey don’t have to feel split on the actual holiday, a
\nnew date and ritual can be created.<\/p>\n


\n<\/b><\/p>\n

How would you address preparing to become an adoptive
\nparent?<\/i><\/b>                               <\/p>\n

Nine months of pregnancy does not guarantee an easy
\ntransition from non-parent to parent, but at least you’ve
\nhad some time to prepare. Adoptive parents to prepare
\nfor parenthood so that it is not the shock of: one
\nminute single and the next a mother or father<\/i>. I
\nrecommend, first, a ritual on becoming a parent. Then,
\nan adoption ritual. Every year, you can do a ritual
\ncalled “Gothcha Day” celebrating the day the
\nchild was adopted. It’s a way of being very honest
\nabout the fact that the child is adopted and letting
\nthem know that it’s a special day.<\/p>\n

<\/b><\/p>\n

How important are seasonal rituals for kids, such as
\nfull moon and spring equinox?
<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Seasonal rituals are
\nimportant because we are too out of touch with nature;
\nour children, especially our city kids, need to be more
\nin tune with the cycles of life. It gives them a better
\nunderstanding of how life works. Without a proper
\nunderstanding of natural cycles of life it is difficult
\nto unhook ourselves from our society’s orientated
\ntoward instant gratification.<\/p>\n


\n<\/b><\/p>\n

Do kids like rituals?<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

Kids feel safe with rituals. It’s the same thing as
\nwanting to constantly eat the same kind of food, go to
\nthe same restaurant, or wear the same favorite T-shirt.
\nFamiliarity and repetition — hence, family ritual —
\nmakes them feel safe and secure. Just as adults have
\ntheir lucky job interview outfit or a special object
\nthey carry for good luck, the power of ritual comes from
\nthe symbolism of the object or act. Symbols connect us
\nto our inner power, remind us who we are. For those who
\nare spiritually minded, you might say it connects them
\nto a higher power. To this day, taking my son Jordan out
\nfor pizza remains a family tradition that has made him
\nfeel deeply connected to me since childhood. He’s in his thirties<\/font><\/font>!
\nBut pizza with mom still makes us feel bonded and
\nconnected and joyous! That is truly the joy of family
\nritual.<\/p>\n


\n<\/b><\/p>\n

On a deeper level, what does family ritual offer?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

If there really is to be such a change in this new
\nmillennium, it’s like the song… “Let there be
\npeace on earth …and let it begin with me.” Let it
\nbegin with the family unit. We should start as young as
\npossible and build strong family units that will be
\ninclusive of the new families. As family dynamics change
\nwith time and the tides of the culture, we can continue
\nto create new rituals that are meaningful for all family
\nmembers.<\/p>\n

For more information, contact Barbara Biziou at JoyofRitual.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Barbara Biziou is a national expert on every day rituals. She has a couple of fabulous books that focus on personal and family rituals and teach people how to evoke practical spirituality in their lives in ways that mesh well with their current lifestyle. The Joy of Ritual: Spiritual Recipes To Celebrate Milestones, Ease Transitions…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":73,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[22,24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-celebrations","category-inspiring-books"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Joy of Family Rituals<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Joy of Family Rituals\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Barbara Biziou is a national expert on every day rituals. She has a couple of fabulous books that focus on personal and family rituals and teach people how to evoke practical spirituality in their lives in ways that mesh well with their current lifestyle. The Joy of Ritual: Spiritual Recipes To Celebrate Milestones, Ease Transitions…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Inspiration Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-11-27T19:31:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/11\/Family%20RItuals-thumb-245x294-19695.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"lbrockway\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Joy of Family Rituals","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Joy of Family Rituals","og_description":"Barbara Biziou is a national expert on every day rituals. She has a couple of fabulous books that focus on personal and family rituals and teach people how to evoke practical spirituality in their lives in ways that mesh well with their current lifestyle. The Joy of Ritual: Spiritual Recipes To Celebrate Milestones, Ease Transitions…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html","og_site_name":"Inspiration Report","article_published_time":"2010-11-27T19:31:16+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/11\/Family%20RItuals-thumb-245x294-19695.jpg"}],"author":"lbrockway","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html","name":"The Joy of Family Rituals","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/11\/Family%20RItuals-thumb-245x294-19695.jpg","datePublished":"2010-11-27T19:31:16+00:00","dateModified":"2010-11-27T19:31:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/#\/schema\/person\/519b1905b7de7569c8bf616a16ceb439"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/11\/Family%20RItuals-thumb-245x294-19695.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/11\/Family%20RItuals-thumb-245x294-19695.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/11\/the-joy-of-family-rituals.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Joy of Family Rituals"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/","name":"Inspiration Report","description":"Inspiration News, Life Advice and Emotional Wellness","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/#\/schema\/person\/519b1905b7de7569c8bf616a16ceb439","name":"lbrockway","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/ddd\/ddd44dc46baca8dcaf94c941287c37c0x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/ddd\/ddd44dc46baca8dcaf94c941287c37c0x96.jpg","caption":"lbrockway"},"description":"Laurie Sue Brockway is the Inspiration Editor of Beliefnet.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/author\/lbrockway"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/309","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/73"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=309"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/309\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=309"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=309"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}