{"id":2999,"date":"2012-07-27T11:06:30","date_gmt":"2012-07-27T15:06:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/?p=2999"},"modified":"2012-07-27T11:06:30","modified_gmt":"2012-07-27T15:06:30","slug":"the-problem-with-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2012\/07\/the-problem-with-pain.html","title":{"rendered":"The Problem with Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve heard people say, \u201cHow do I get over something if it still hurts?\u201d And yes, forgiveness is key, whether it\u2019s aimed towards yourself or someone else. However, it\u2019s not really the main issue. What people really want to know is, \u201cHow do I deal with the pain?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The problem with pain is that it doesn\u2019t just go away quickly. It doesn\u2019t disappear when the dust settles. When you\u2019ve been hurt \u2013 even if you\u2019ve taken the high road of forgiveness \u2013 sometimes the pain comes along for the ride.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/files\/2012\/07\/let_go_0005_Layer_7.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/89\/2012\/07\/let_go_0005_Layer_7-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" title=\"The problem with pain\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-3000\" \/><\/a>I\u2019m not sure what\u2019s worse. The initial pain of being hurt or the repressed pain that surfaces later when you least expect it. You know, you\u2019re going along, happy and whole, then something happens that reminds you of the past and instantly a flood of emotions you thought you locked away come rushing back in. It\u2019s enough to make you wonder if you\u2019ll ever be okay again.<\/p>\n<p>Can I help you as someone who\u2019s been there and is walking this road with you today? <\/p>\n<p>First of all, it\u2019s normal. Yeah, you can still get riled up about something that happened to you six months ago, a year or ago or maybe years ago. You\u2019re not a machine. You\u2019re a human being with a heart. Just like you wouldn\u2019t expect a deep flesh wound to heal over night, neither will your feelings when you\u2019ve been hurt.<\/p>\n<p>Secondly, don\u2019t be afraid of your pain. Don\u2019t be afraid to let it surface if it needs to. Nothing gets better when it\u2019s covered in layers of shame, fear and regret. So you can\u2019t be concerned that your pain is too ugly to show, which leads me to my next point&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Talk to somebody about it. If you\u2019re married, talk to your spouse. Maybe you need a professional counselor or a trusted friend and cup of coffee. Let your pain come out in words. You don\u2019t need to tell <em>everyone<\/em>. In fact, too many people knowing your problems can be counterproductive. But find one person you trust and let the cork off of all those bottled up emotions.<\/p>\n<p>I talk a lot here about <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/2012\/04\/keep-moving-forward.html\">letting go of your past<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/2012\/04\/keep-moving-forward.html\">moving forward<\/a>, and I still believe those are powerful tools for living an abundant life. However, the truth is that you can&#8217;t let everything go. Some things you have to let <em>heal<\/em>. Give it space and time to get better on its own and don\u2019t try to rush the process. Let the wound turn into a scar that one day becomes just an old story you forget to tell.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve heard people say, \u201cHow do I get over something if it still hurts?\u201d And yes, forgiveness is key, whether it\u2019s aimed towards yourself or someone else. However, it\u2019s not really the main issue. What people really want to know is, \u201cHow do I deal with the pain?\u201d The problem with pain is that it&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":93,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4,20,6,26],"tags":[150,151,370,663],"class_list":["post-2999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiring-messages","category-something-to-think-about","category-thought-to-ponder","category-well-being","tag-forgive","tag-forgiveness","tag-pain","tag-suffering"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Problem with Pain<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Problem with Pain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019ve heard people say, \u201cHow do I get over something if it still hurts?\u201d And yes, forgiveness is key, whether it\u2019s aimed towards yourself or someone else. However, it\u2019s not really the main issue. What people really want to know is, \u201cHow do I deal with the pain?\u201d The problem with pain is that it&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2012\/07\/the-problem-with-pain.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Inspiration Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-27T15:06:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/files\/2012\/07\/let_go_0005_Layer_7-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jennifer E. 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