{"id":243,"date":"2010-06-27T19:28:42","date_gmt":"2010-06-27T19:28:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/inspirationreport\/2010\/06\/are-you-feeling-broken-open-by-change.html"},"modified":"2010-06-27T19:28:42","modified_gmt":"2010-06-27T19:28:42","slug":"are-you-feeling-broken-open-by-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/inspirationreport\/2010\/06\/are-you-feeling-broken-open-by-change.html","title":{"rendered":"Are You Feeling ‘Broken Open’ by Change?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Guest Blog by Marci
\nShimoff<\/font><\/font><\/b><\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
\"Marci_Shimoff_headshot_lg.jpg\"<\/a><\/span>Has
\nthis been a time of huge change or challenge for you? Does life seem a bit
\nsurreal these days? <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
\n
Well, you’re not alone. In the past months, virtually everyone I know has
\nexperienced some kind of major transformation or loss-death of a friend or
\nfamily member, relationship break-up, illness, move, or job loss. Even my
\nfriends who’ve always been rock-solid steady-Eddies are feeling shaken and
\nbroken open in the process.<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
In my own life, just in the past year I’ve been through a divorce (mutual
\nand loving, but a loss, nonetheless), the selling of my family’s home of 58
\nyears, and the deaths of four people very dear to me, including my beloved
\nmother. Add to that the economic and planetary challenges (including the Gulf
\noil spill), and life seems shakier than ever.<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
If you can relate, take heart. You’re not imagining things. According to
\nmany ancient prophecies, these times of radical change have been predicted.
\nWhile some interpret events like the ending of the Mayan Long Count calendar in
\n2012 as catastrophic, others think it signals a shift into a new and better era
\nfor humankind.<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
I believe the latter is true-we’re going through a global shift in
\nconsciousness that’s opening us up internally, as it shakes things up
\nexternally.<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
I’ve seen this in my reactions to the losses in my life. At first there’s
\npain, pure and simple. But, as I relax into my feelings rather than resist them,
\nthey bloom into something else: Gratitude wells up for the past and present;
\npeace emerges about the future; love fills me with a beautiful depth and
\nsweetness. And I feel a tenderness for all of us here on this earth, facing the
\nuncertainty and inevitable changes of life.<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
The Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron writes: “We can let the circumstances of our
\nlives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can
\nlet them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us.”<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
I want to let these experiences soften me and to emerge from the “fire” of
\nchange a more compassionate, open, and loving person. The key, I believe, is to
\ntake time to feel the fear or sorrow and to trust that all that happens is
\nultimately for good. I love this phrase a friend recently shared with me: Life
\ndoesn’t happen TO you, it happens FOR you.<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Here
\nare some ways to turn losses into openings in your life:<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
1.
\nHold the perspective that everything is happening for your greater good. An
\nevent may be disguised as a “bad” thing, but can you really know that? Remove
\nthe label “bad” from whatever is happening, and look for the gift or blessing in
\nit.<\/p>\n
 <\/div>\n<\/div>\n
2.
\nRemember that you’re not alone-get support from those around you (not the
\nmisery-loves-company kind-the wise and loving kind!).<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
3. Take
\ntime to feel any fear or sadness. Don’t be afraid they’ll overwhelm you. Feel
\nthem fully and have a good cry, if needed. Then take a deep breath and go out
\nand do something you love to do.<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
4. When
\nfeeling contracted, think of the word “soften.” Just that little reminder can
\nmake a hard place inside melt.<\/p>\n
I feel a deep compassion these days, and I’m grateful for it. Let’s allow
\nthe changes we’re  experiencing to “tenderize” our hearts-and welcome the
\nsweetness that brings to every moment! This is how we can stay happy for no
\nreason, no matter what.<\/div>\n

 <\/strong><\/div>\n

 <\/div>\n
Marci Shimoff is a celebrated transformational leader and #1 New York Times
\n<\/em>best-selling author of Happy for No Reason<\/a>. To learn more of her techniques for establishing
\ndeep and authentic happiness and well-being, visit www.HappyForNoReason.com<\/a><\/i>.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Guest Blog by Marci Shimoff   Has this been a time of huge change or challenge for you? Does life seem a bit surreal these days?   Well, you’re not alone. 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