{"id":3328,"date":"2010-01-15T13:42:42","date_gmt":"2010-01-15T13:42:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html"},"modified":"2010-01-15T13:42:42","modified_gmt":"2010-01-15T13:42:42","slug":"the-onions-hilarious-twilight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html","title":{"rendered":"The Onion&#8217;s Hilarious, Twilight Spoof"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you&#8217;ve ever read my posts on The Twilight Saga and its author Stephenie Meyer, you know that I adore Edward, Bella, and even Jacob, and think that both the books and the movie are great fun. I&#8217;m definitely not one of the Twilight haters out there, who shoe up when anything gets as popular as Meyer&#8217;s series about vampire love has in the last couple of years.<br \/>\nSo, this makes me feel totally justified in enjoying Twilight spoofs such as one of my all-time favorites, the <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/idolchatter\/2009\/06\/buffy-vs-edward.html\">Buffy vs. Edward video<\/a>, and now, a <em>very<\/em> funny article recently posted in <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/content\/news\/woman_married_to_fat_emotionally?utm_source=EMTF_Onion\">The Onion: &#8220;Woman Married To Fat, Emotionally Distant Vampire Escapes Into &#8216;Twilight&#8217; Novels.&#8221;<\/a><br \/>\nWhether you love or hate Twilight, as long as you know anything at all about the series, really the basics (Bella, Edward, Jacob, and a dash about how Edward woos Bella), this articles is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. Some of my favorite lines include, &#8220;[Sara Pastor] said it&#8217;s been ages since her husband, 834-year-old Andrei Pastor, bought her flowers, took her dancing, or appeared at her second-story window and charmed her into allowing him inside,&#8221; and &#8220;Edward is so romantic,&#8221; said Pastor, referring to Edward Cullen, Twilight&#8217;s vampire hero. &#8220;He loves [17-year-old protagonist] Bella so much that he runs away from her to protect her. My husband, on the other hand, hasn&#8217;t posed any kind of danger to me in years.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you&#8217;ve ever read my posts on The Twilight Saga and its author Stephenie Meyer, you know that I adore Edward, Bella, and even Jacob, and think that both the books and the movie are great fun. I&#8217;m definitely not one of the Twilight haters out there, who shoe up when anything gets as popular&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":105,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13,7,3,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-entertainment","category-movies","category-trends"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Onion&#039;s Hilarious, Twilight Spoof<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Onion&#039;s Hilarious, Twilight Spoof\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you&#8217;ve ever read my posts on The Twilight Saga and its author Stephenie Meyer, you know that I adore Edward, Bella, and even Jacob, and think that both the books and the movie are great fun. I&#8217;m definitely not one of the Twilight haters out there, who shoe up when anything gets as popular&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Idol Chatter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-01-15T13:42:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna Freitas\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Onion's Hilarious, Twilight Spoof","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Onion's Hilarious, Twilight Spoof","og_description":"If you&#8217;ve ever read my posts on The Twilight Saga and its author Stephenie Meyer, you know that I adore Edward, Bella, and even Jacob, and think that both the books and the movie are great fun. I&#8217;m definitely not one of the Twilight haters out there, who shoe up when anything gets as popular&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html","og_site_name":"Idol Chatter","article_published_time":"2010-01-15T13:42:42+00:00","author":"Donna Freitas","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html","name":"The Onion's Hilarious, Twilight Spoof","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/#website"},"datePublished":"2010-01-15T13:42:42+00:00","dateModified":"2010-01-15T13:42:42+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/#\/schema\/person\/59a2667b18839bc220bd4c3c2d2ed70a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/2010\/01\/the-onions-hilarious-twilight.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Onion&#8217;s Hilarious, Twilight Spoof"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/","name":"Idol Chatter","description":"Beliefnet Entertainment blog, TV blog, Movie blog, Religion in entertainment blog","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/#\/schema\/person\/59a2667b18839bc220bd4c3c2d2ed70a","name":"Donna Freitas","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/3bb\/3bbee96f022df7191e7ff477ca6c7f09x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/3bb\/3bbee96f022df7191e7ff477ca6c7f09x96.jpg","caption":"Donna Freitas"},"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/author\/dfreitas"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/105"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3328"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3328\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/idolchatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}