{"id":962,"date":"2015-08-07T00:29:18","date_gmt":"2015-08-07T00:29:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=962"},"modified":"2015-08-07T00:29:18","modified_gmt":"2015-08-07T00:29:18","slug":"2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"2 Reasons for Tears in a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am catching up on some reading. I flip through the pages of a months old Elle Magazine and happen upon an article. A quote jumps out from the pages. <\/p>\n

“There are two main reasons people cry: Being separated from an intimate relationship or feeling powerless.” – Elle Magazine<\/p>\n

I can only agree heartily with this quote. I shed a lot of tears for the loss of my relationship. However, I shed far more over the sense of powerlessness I felt as my husband called the shots. I did not see my husband’s controlling ways when I first met him. He was not overtly controlling and as a young girl, I had no concept of the term ‘passive aggressive.’ I did not know that there were two types of controlling personalities.<\/p>\n

I thought I had married the most laid back man in the world.<\/p>\n

What a lesson I learned within months of being engaged and more powerfully once I was married.<\/p>\n

I can understand control. I can even understand a need to be in control.<\/p>\n

I cannot; however, understand the need to be in control to such a point you would find satisfaction in the tears of one you love. I cannot understand the need to be in such control that you would render one that you love powerless and helpless.<\/p>\n

No, I would not call that control.<\/p>\n

I would call that bullying. I would call that abusive. Tears are a submissive action.<\/p>\n

So I would not call that a relationship.<\/p>\n

I would call it one person being controlled by another.<\/p>\n

I would say if you are shedding tears because you feel powerless…You have given your power to someone who cannot be trusted with it.<\/p>\n

I wish someone had told me this. I wish someone had told me to take off my blinders, stop making excuses even once for a man that can make you cry.<\/p>\n

I wish someone had told me to grab my box of tissues, wipe my mascara off my face, and look into a mirror. Look hard at the face that man created so I could see that love was not staring back at me. That a man who felt a powerless self-esteem was never going to do anything except try and remind me he was powerful even if watching a woman cry at his hands was necessary to do so.<\/p>\n

\"how-great-thou-part\"<\/a>
\nFollow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist
\non Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am catching up on some reading. I flip through the pages of a months old Elle Magazine and happen upon an article. A quote jumps out from the pages. “There are two main reasons people cry: Being separated from an intimate relationship or feeling powerless.” – Elle Magazine I can only agree heartily with…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1,3,126],"tags":[6,2,41,229,77,119,43,4,57,234,13,72,21,30],"class_list":["post-962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-catholic","category-divorce-2","category-marriage","category-marriage-problems","tag-counseling","tag-divorce","tag-healing","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-counseling","tag-marriage-problems","tag-marriagecounseling","tag-relationships","tag-self-help","tag-self-improvement","tag-self-love","tag-starting-over","tag-strength","tag-unconditional-love"],"yoast_head":"\n2 Reasons for Tears in a Relationship - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"2 Reasons for Tears in a Relationship - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am catching up on some reading. I flip through the pages of a months old Elle Magazine and happen upon an article. A quote jumps out from the pages. “There are two main reasons people cry: Being separated from an intimate relationship or feeling powerless.” – Elle Magazine I can only agree heartily with…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-08-07T00:29:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/06\/how-great-thou-part-300x115.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"2 Reasons for Tears in a Relationship - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"2 Reasons for Tears in a Relationship - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"I am catching up on some reading. I flip through the pages of a months old Elle Magazine and happen upon an article. A quote jumps out from the pages. “There are two main reasons people cry: Being separated from an intimate relationship or feeling powerless.” – Elle Magazine I can only agree heartily with…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html","og_site_name":"How Great Thou Part","article_published_time":"2015-08-07T00:29:18+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/06\/how-great-thou-part-300x115.jpg"}],"author":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html","name":"2 Reasons for Tears in a Relationship - How Great Thou Part","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/06\/how-great-thou-part-300x115.jpg","datePublished":"2015-08-07T00:29:18+00:00","dateModified":"2015-08-07T00:29:18+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/06\/how-great-thou-part-300x115.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/06\/how-great-thou-part-300x115.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/2-reasons-for-tears-in-a-relationship.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"2 Reasons for Tears in a Relationship"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/","name":"How Great Thou Part","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Colleen Orme","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15","name":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","description":"Born and raised in Northern Virginia outside of Washington, D.C., I often call myself a southern New Yorker, much to the dismay of my true New Yorker buddies. Born to my native Brooklyn parents, I have a love of all things city and all things country. I found myself in the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, which prior to The Office, nary a soul could envision less you found yourself on the hills of Interstate 81. I was held up there while I pursued my B.S. in Business. I have two passions: Business marketing and writing. The two are not so terribly different. Why? Cultivating a brand is in essence the story and the connecting of the dots of a corporate entity. I write features for various magazines and newspapers and I am a national divorce columnist (what can I say things didn\u2019t turn out quite the way I thought they would). I am also a former business columnist. For more than fifteen years, I spent my summers on the Jersey Shore in what I call my \u2018out of state\u2019 clothes once again magnetized to the northerners I find so familiar. If I were to brand my writing, I would say I write of LOVE. That is the core from which I begin most stories. I find myself drawn to dig for the moments in the story that are the passion that drive the message. It may be the love of what originally started a business or an authentically motivated personal profile, or simply the love of a subject being investigated which compels me to write. My forever favorite form of writing is the human interest essay or what I call, \u201cAn Interview With Life.\u201d The average day that is explored and somehow once again instills in us a joie de vivre\u2026..a joy of life. These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=962"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":965,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962\/revisions\/965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}