{"id":5466,"date":"2018-07-25T00:29:41","date_gmt":"2018-07-25T00:29:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=5466"},"modified":"2018-07-25T00:29:41","modified_gmt":"2018-07-25T00:29:41","slug":"reasons-relationships-end","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2018\/07\/reasons-relationships-end.html","title":{"rendered":"5 Reasons to Give Yourself a Break in a Breakup"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s undeniable many of our relationship decisions are rooted in our childhood.<\/p>\n<p><em>And yes, it&#8217;s good to learn about why we make the choices we make, what influences shaped us, etc.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>But sometimes we just need to cut ourselves a break.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2018\/07\/pexels-photo-301977.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-5471 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/374\/2018\/07\/pexels-photo-301977-300x201.jpeg\" alt=\"pexels-photo-301977\" width=\"300\" height=\"201\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>We were babies after all.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>At least the majority of us, when we\u00a0were making these lifelong, complicated decisions of who to permanently attach ourselves to.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The only problem?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>We didn&#8217;t know it.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We were playing dress up on the exterior with the emotional interior of a toddler.<\/p>\n<p><strong>What on earth could go wrong with this scenario?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Amazingly, nothing for the vast many.<\/p>\n<p>Somehow, their physical exterior caught up with their emotional interior and they continue to enjoy relationship bliss.<\/p>\n<p><em>However, there are the others.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>The ones who really didn&#8217;t understand who or what they were getting themselves attached to.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And therefore, eventually emotionally outgrew one another.<\/p>\n<p><strong>That&#8217;s a really nice way of saying the relationship crashed and burned.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But here&#8217;s the good news.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, we need an emotional education to learn and make better choices. Improving ourselves and the relationships in our lives is a great and admirable goal. It&#8217;s inspiring to think we can achieve happier and more respectful partnerships. But part of growth\u00a0can also involve self-forgiveness. Letting go of past decisions and mistakes.<\/p>\n<p>And letting the universe occasionally take one for the team.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>3 Reasons to Give Yourself a Break in a Breakup<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>We Were Young<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>What on earth did we know?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We just knew the hot guy or hot girl across the party was staring at us.<\/p>\n<p>And at the time, it <em>seemed<\/em> like a really great thing.<\/p>\n<p>Forget family of origin or other similarities which were really drawing us closer!<\/p>\n<p>They were hot, funny AND they liked us!<\/p>\n<p>A trifecta! A win-win!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>We Were Clueless<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>We grew up in big families where everyone talked over one another.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And yelling seemed to be an odd form of affection.<\/p>\n<p><em>We didn&#8217;t understand those big families were code for &#8216;slightly complicated.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>What did we know about communicating and respect?<\/p>\n<p>That was the spice of small families and who would want to miss out on all this robust complicated fun?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>We Were Uneducated<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Look, no one was talking statistics when we rushed in to show them the ring.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>They just sipped champagne with us.<\/p>\n<p>Come to think of it, they weren&#8217;t chatting about it prior to the rock either.<\/p>\n<p><em>The seasoned married couples just smiled politely, it was the era of\u00a0 &#8216;no dirty laundry.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Instead, they just hung it out to dry.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>We Were Defiantly Optimistic\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Actually, we might have been arrogantly optimistic.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>What? Us make the same mistakes as our parents??<\/p>\n<p>Like, never!<\/p>\n<p>If they fought we wouldn&#8217;t even argue. If they ignored one another we would be Besties.<\/p>\n<p>If they didn&#8217;t let us get a dog, we would own five.<\/p>\n<p>If they had six kids we would have a more manageable three.<\/p>\n<p><em>We knew it all or did we?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>We Were Naive<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Look, life isn&#8217;t complicated.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It just needs some planning.<\/p>\n<p>We sow\u00a0a few oats and get married later. That&#8217;ll work.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s us, always thinking &#8211; improving our odds.<\/p>\n<p>Children need even more planning so we&#8217;ll delay that as well.<\/p>\n<p><em>Now we have everything under control.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>As long as we keep ahead of life&#8217;s curve, we got this relationship thing mastered.<\/p>\n<p><em>Yet, life can&#8217;t be controlled.\u00a0At best, it can be forecasted or shall we say anticipated?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Self-Forgiveness is just one step away.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Let the universe take this one for the team.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>We were babies.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We just didn&#8217;t know it.<\/p>\n<p><em>We had so much growing up to do.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>With that said, better now lock eyes with the hottie who&#8217;s no longer playing emotional dress up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The team can only take so many losses.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Photo courtesy of Pexels<\/p>\n<p>on Twitter @colleenorme<br \/>\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme<br \/>\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s undeniable many of our relationship decisions are rooted in our childhood. And yes, it&#8217;s good to learn about why we make the choices we make, what influences shaped us, etc. But sometimes we just need to cut ourselves a break.\u00a0 We were babies after all. At least the majority of us, when we\u00a0were making&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":613,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[176,308],"tags":[36,229,4,309],"class_list":["post-5466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships","category-romance","tag-family","tag-marriage","tag-relationships","tag-romance"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>5 Reasons to Give Yourself a Break in a Breakup - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2018\/07\/reasons-relationships-end.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 Reasons to Give Yourself a Break in a Breakup - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It&#8217;s undeniable many of our relationship decisions are rooted in our childhood. 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