{"id":5419,"date":"2018-09-11T18:30:39","date_gmt":"2018-09-11T18:30:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=5419"},"modified":"2018-09-11T18:30:39","modified_gmt":"2018-09-11T18:30:39","slug":"difference-disappointment-suffering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2018\/09\/difference-disappointment-suffering.html","title":{"rendered":"The Difference Between Disappointment and Suffering"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am listening to one of my favorite speakers.<\/p>\n

I hang on every word.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My body wilts with relief as stress exits and a sense of optimism bubbles to the surface.<\/em><\/p>\n

There is nothing like a dose of ‘positivity’ to water down the fears.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yet this particular moment in time, I am struck by the power of this person’s words yet the absence of true suffering. He has not experienced significant loss and there have been a few career roadblocks\u00a0not necessarily career setbacks.<\/p>\n

I am a motivational junkie.<\/em><\/p>\n

I love all things inspirational.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

The kitschy little signs, the books, quotes, speakers – all of it.<\/p>\n

In fact, I\u00a0always joke my overt dream was to be a writer and my covert dream, a motivational speaker.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Yet, I always knew I did not have the street cred to be an actual motivational speaker.<\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-568027\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Because in my life I had known disappointment, not true suffering.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Some would disagree.<\/em><\/p>\n

How could your father leave when you were just five years old? An alcoholic who would reappear a few times in our lives but abandon his family physically, emotionally, and financially. And then at the young age of twenty-eight, you would lose not only him but the single mother who raised you? And to anyone raised by a single mother and absentee father that loss represented both your parents.<\/p>\n

Yet, I never viewed that as true suffering.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Perhaps because my mother never presented it that way.<\/p>\n

And because as children we chose to focus on the extraordinary blessing and love of each other and the one parent who never left us.<\/p>\n

I am not candy coating an unfortunate outcome. The mess and muck of my dad leaving did impact us and my mother (as I would later do) made her fair share of mistakes. But we tended to dwell on our blessings.<\/p>\n

I have written before about recounting an instance in my twenties where a woman turned to me and said, “I feel sorry for you having grown up without your father.”<\/em><\/p>\n

“Don’t” I replied with a smile. “I never have.”<\/em><\/p>\n

As I listen to this particular motivational speaker I arrive at an epiphany.<\/p>\n

The\u00a0profound difference between disappointment and suffering.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sure, others have probably arrived here before me.<\/p>\n

But there is a difference between not getting a coveted job offer and unimaginable loss.<\/em><\/p>\n

There is a difference between not being able to afford a vacation and not having money to feed your children.<\/em><\/p>\n

There is a difference between not getting a promotion and losing your job.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

There is a difference between not getting into a certain college and a child suffering devastating illness.<\/em><\/p>\n

All these years later I do know the difference between disappointment and suffering.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A father I couldn’t count on was\u00a0excruciatingly painful and it certainly shaped my life. But it was a disappointment. I still had one parent. A mother who filled my life with love, security, and faith. I was not orphaned.<\/p>\n

Too much has happened throughout these past years to recount as well as some which will remain personal. Meaning I speak not only of divorce because that one can recover from.<\/p>\n

I do now understand suffering.<\/p>\n

And the profound difference between that and disappointment.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist<\/strong><\/p>\n

Photo courtesy of Pexels<\/p>\n

on Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am listening to one of my favorite speakers. I hang on every word. My body wilts with relief as stress exits and a sense of optimism bubbles to the surface. There is nothing like a dose of ‘positivity’ to water down the fears. 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