{"id":4705,"date":"2018-01-09T18:14:21","date_gmt":"2018-01-09T18:14:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=4705"},"modified":"2018-01-09T18:14:21","modified_gmt":"2018-01-09T18:14:21","slug":"achieve-restoration-resolution-new-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2018\/01\/achieve-restoration-resolution-new-year.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Achieve Restoration and Resolution in the New Year"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few months ago I returned.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The person once known as Colleen Sheehy peeked through after what seemed like an eternal hiatus.<\/em><\/p>\n

I think I now understand the artist formerly known as Prince or Puff Daddy turned P.Diddy and so on.<\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-714703\"<\/a><\/p>\n

These men simply put titles on their life transitions or should I say personal growth.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

They labeled one turn in their life taking them towards another.<\/em><\/p>\n

I could feel it coming…My restoration and resolution and then one day a beautiful young girl turned to me and said, “I am going to call you\u00a0Sunshine<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

“You are,” I inquired. “Why?”<\/p>\n

“Because you are always smiling,” she responded.<\/p>\n

“Hey,” I said. “People\u00a0used<\/em> to say that about me.”<\/p>\n

I had forgotten. <\/strong><\/p>\n

How is that even possible? I remember when my marital problems started people used to say it was difficult to witness because I hadn’t been joyful I had been overly joyful so the change was dramatic. But I had forgotten how people used to mention my smile.<\/p>\n

I walked away feeling giddy. I’m back. I’m not thoroughly enmeshed with another human being or controlled anymore.<\/em><\/p>\n

So exactly how did this finally happen?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Certainly, I had prayed and begged God to\u00a0restore me to my original self but I had done that throughout this long overdue divorce.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Why now? What was different? Or more importantly what had I done differently?<\/em><\/p>\n

I still have all the same financial issues and worries. I still agonize over my children’s pain. I still have the same level of stress. I still live with the same future unknowns.<\/p>\n

Yet I am smiling not just here and there but everywhere.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The truth is I had gotten to a point where I was living in fear of another human being.<\/em><\/p>\n

What were they going to do next? What would be the next tactic used to intimidate? I realized I was operating from a point of fear but I didn’t know how to extricate myself from it.<\/p>\n

I had asked and begged for help. Sadly, it wasn’t coming. I have written often the ones closest to me could have no impact and the ones closest to him refused to get involved. Yet, I had not given up that somehow someone would help me shut down this situation.<\/p>\n

I like to say ‘no one in a relationship should have the power but no one should be powerless either.’ I left my marriage for that reason. I believed divorce would free me not suspend me in the exact same position.<\/em><\/p>\n

Fortunately, I knew\u00a0the moment which initiated my restoration and resolution of the woman formerly known as Colleen.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was a refusal to do something in the best interest of one of my children.<\/em><\/p>\n

This had happened before only this time I can only assume my fatigue of reliving it with another one of my children took me to a boiling point.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

And I got angry.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not the kind of emotional anger I had in the past. This was not directed at him. It was directed at me. I got so mad I had been so foolish for so long. Investing in someone who did not merit that devotion. And I started taking my own power back.<\/p>\n

I began to focus on harnessing this new found energy because it was blocking fear.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

And miraculously, without fear control vanished.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

He could no longer control me if I did not care enough to worry enough to fear his next move.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And there could be no control if my anger was no longer directed at him. I have had enough counseling to long ago let go of any long-term true anger at him and take responsibility for choosing to stay in a bad situation for so long. However, the inability to ensure my children would be out of harm’s way during this brutal experience did bring out the mamma bear in me.<\/p>\n

And yes, that did make me angry at him.<\/p>\n

The bottom line?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes, intimidators and bullies should be shut down and held accountable. Unfortunately, it’s often not the case.<\/p>\n

We must rescue ourselves.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist<\/strong><\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n

on Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few months ago I returned. The person once known as Colleen Sheehy peeked through after what seemed like an eternal hiatus. I think I now understand the artist formerly known as Prince or Puff Daddy turned P.Diddy and so on. 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The person once known as Colleen Sheehy peeked through after what seemed like an eternal hiatus. I think I now understand the artist formerly known as Prince or Puff Daddy turned P.Diddy and so on. These men simply put titles on their life transitions or should I say personal…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2018\/01\/achieve-restoration-resolution-new-year.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-01-09T18:14:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-714703-300x200.jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Achieve Restoration and Resolution in the New Year - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2018\/01\/achieve-restoration-resolution-new-year.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Achieve Restoration and Resolution in the New Year - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"A few months ago I returned. 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