{"id":4384,"date":"2017-08-28T01:48:11","date_gmt":"2017-08-28T01:48:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=4384"},"modified":"2017-08-28T01:48:11","modified_gmt":"2017-08-28T01:48:11","slug":"unlikely-way-spent-29th-wedding-anniversary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/08\/unlikely-way-spent-29th-wedding-anniversary.html","title":{"rendered":"The Unlikely Way I Spent My 29th Wedding Anniversary"},"content":{"rendered":"

On August 27th, 1988 I never imagined this would be how I’d spend my 29th wedding anniversary.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And certainly, August 13th, 2013 when I retained a divorce attorney, I never would have believed I’d still be married on this particular day.<\/p>\n

Yet, here I am.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The irony is not lost on me. That I am alone today when it is the very reason I left my marriage. The tremendous sense of loneliness despite living with another human being. which makes it even odder that he resists letting me go.<\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-265856\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Tonight I indulge in a bit of\u00a0The Real Housewives of Orange County.<\/em><\/p>\n

Tamra speaks of her estrangement from her daughter and the ill effects of divorce.<\/p>\n

As she cries, I cry.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

And then she explains how she distanced herself from her own father for ten years and how horrible divorce is.<\/p>\n

Yes, divorce is horrible.<\/em><\/p>\n

But what makes it so much worse is the lack of support systems for the men, women, and children experiencing it.<\/p>\n

It’s a positive thing to get away from lonely…to get away from unhealthy and unhappiness.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Divorce is an option people make to protect an injured family.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

A chance for a new beginning and the hope children will recognize a house filled with love again.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yet, we live in fractured relationships for far too long and this compounds divorce. It can lead people to make less than desirable decisions and it can prolong pain to a point an injured person wants to retaliate.<\/p>\n

That’s what makes divorce so horrible.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The emotions which linger are damaging.<\/em><\/p>\n

Divorce is not the time to prolong the pain of marriage.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s the moment to grow up and accept the choices and mistakes we made.<\/strong><\/p>\n

On this 29th wedding anniversary, I completely recognize and understand the weight I have placed on my children by the choices I have made. It is in large part anyone who knows me, realizes how frightened I was to walk down the aisle all those years ago. I was well aware marriage was a major life decision<\/p>\n

I was well aware marriage was a major life decision I would make which would one day impact others.<\/em><\/p>\n

And I knew from growing up, one spouse could change everything despite the other spouse’s best intentions.<\/strong><\/p>\n

All of our kids deserve better.<\/em><\/p>\n

The problem?<\/em><\/p>\n

We can’t make another person do the right thing.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s up to each individual who enters into marriage to hold themselves to a higher accountability.<\/em><\/p>\n

To be mature enough to be self-responsible.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In marriage AND divorce.<\/p>\n

I never imagined this is how I would be spending my 29th wedding anniversary but as I feel Tamra’s pain I know this was meant to be my path.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I just wish it hadn’t been my children’s.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of\u00a0Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist on Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On August 27th, 1988 I never imagined this would be how I’d spend my 29th wedding anniversary. And certainly, August 13th, 2013 when I retained a divorce attorney, I never would have believed I’d still be married on this particular day. Yet, here I am. The irony is not lost on me. That I am…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":613,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2,41],"class_list":["post-4384","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2","tag-divorce","tag-healing"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Unlikely Way I Spent My 29th Wedding Anniversary - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/08\/unlikely-way-spent-29th-wedding-anniversary.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Unlikely Way I Spent My 29th Wedding Anniversary - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"On August 27th, 1988 I never imagined this would be how I’d spend my 29th wedding anniversary. 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