{"id":4365,"date":"2017-08-25T11:26:44","date_gmt":"2017-08-25T11:26:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=4365"},"modified":"2017-08-25T11:26:44","modified_gmt":"2017-08-25T11:26:44","slug":"divorce-miss-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/08\/divorce-miss-spouse.html","title":{"rendered":"Divorce: Should You Miss Your Spouse?"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s politically incorrect to miss my husband.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And believe me, I do NOT miss the ‘him’ of today.<\/em><\/p>\n

I just miss ‘him.’<\/em><\/p>\n

The person I thought I knew.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-193041\"<\/a>The guy who made my world feel safe – watched The Notebook with me – and listened to my deepest fears and greatest hopes.<\/em><\/p>\n

I miss\u00a0‘him’ – that guy.<\/em><\/p>\n

He was, after all, the one I married – wasn’t he??<\/strong><\/p>\n

The young handsome love of my life who I believed would walk the world with me.<\/em><\/p>\n

He would never leave. On the contrary, he would stay a step ahead of me swiping at the bad guys. He would keep everything right in my world.<\/p>\n

Yet, he did leave.<\/em><\/p>\n

I would ultimately come to accept he was never ‘that guy.’<\/strong><\/p>\n

The good news?<\/em><\/p>\n

Sure, in its entirety the healing is not yet over. The drama is still intermittently in full swing and sadly, seems as though it hasn’t even hit intermission.<\/p>\n

But…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Knowing that I miss ‘him’ \u00a0despite an ugly relationship ending\u00a0– means…<\/em><\/p>\n

One day I will be able to look back and tell my children about\u00a0this guy who\u00a0as a nineteen-year-old college co-ed made me think\u00a0he hung\u00a0the\u00a0moon. A guy who mesmerized me. Made me\u00a0laugh like no other\u00a0and\u00a0who\u00a0once made me feel as if we were the only two people in the world.<\/p>\n

A guy whose best friends were my best friends.<\/em><\/p>\n

The kind of young love that makes invincible seem logical. The type of emotion and innocence and naivete\u00a0which youth fosters.<\/em><\/p>\n

I will be able to tell my children, that though they may remember in the forefront leaving a love which seemed used up and miserable and disagreeable and dysfunctional they were born of…<\/p>\n

Extraordinary love.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The kind that left two people talking for hours until the morning light.<\/em><\/p>\n

That made the thought of being without one another unbearable.<\/em><\/p>\n

That for so very many years felt right.<\/em><\/p>\n

And safe and loving and limitless.<\/em><\/p>\n

That the day will come when they can convert the pain of two people who just weren’t able to get it right for them with the incredible gift of realizing…<\/p>\n

What wilted was once wondrous.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Letting go of love is ugly. It breaks us.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And just as forgiveness signifies letting go…<\/em><\/p>\n

Every child is the result of a love holding on.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I will always miss ‘him.’<\/em><\/p>\n

I would be lying if I said I\u00a0wouldn’t.<\/p>\n

Only ‘he’ and ‘I’ no longer exist.<\/em><\/p>\n

Our time together was at once ‘everything’ and now ‘nothing.’<\/strong><\/p>\n

The conundrum of the heart.<\/p>\n

holding on and letting go…<\/em><\/p>\n

nothing and everything<\/em><\/p>\n

And how somehow we miraculously heal despite these extraordinary contradictions.<\/strong><\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of\u00a0Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist on Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s politically incorrect to miss my husband. And believe me, I do NOT miss the ‘him’ of today. I just miss ‘him.’ The person I thought I knew. The guy who made my world feel safe – watched The Notebook with me – and listened to my deepest fears and greatest hopes. I miss\u00a0‘him’ –…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":613,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2"],"yoast_head":"\nDivorce: Should You Miss Your Spouse? - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/08\/divorce-miss-spouse.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Divorce: Should You Miss Your Spouse? - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It’s politically incorrect to miss my husband. 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