{"id":4081,"date":"2017-06-11T22:21:08","date_gmt":"2017-06-11T22:21:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=4081"},"modified":"2017-06-14T03:04:42","modified_gmt":"2017-06-14T03:04:42","slug":"build-spiritual-endurance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/06\/build-spiritual-endurance.html","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Build Spiritual Endurance?"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I began attending professional writers conferences I would eagerly sit and listen to editors speak of ‘finding your voice.’<\/em><\/p>\n

At the time, all I could think was…’What the heck does that mean?’<\/p>\n

I’m writing my heart out. Isn’t my voice obvious?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"running-runner-long-distance-fitness-40751\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It took a while before I became seasoned enough to understand their message and my own voice.<\/em><\/p>\n

Fast forward to the years of unimaginable destruction.<\/p>\n

A woman who naively\u00a0believed obtaining an attorney and moving on from my marriage was resolving my heartache – not resurrecting it!<\/em><\/p>\n

Now I was using my voice to pray.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I not only prayed but listened intently as others told me to rely\u00a0on my spirituality. While even more asked me where my spirituality was. \u00a0After all, if I was indeed devoutly spiritual I wouldn’t possibly be as stressed out, maxed out, and worn out as I was.<\/p>\n

Night after night I would question myself as I attempted to coax myself to sleep.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If I am really faithful why can’t I let go of my fear?<\/em><\/p>\n

If I believe God is paving my path why am I stressed?<\/em><\/p>\n

If everything is happening for a reason why am I fighting it?<\/em><\/p>\n

If I am devoutly spiritual why am I up all night worrying?<\/em><\/p>\n

I began to question my own spiritual integrity.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eventually\u00a0more, doubt crept in.<\/em><\/p>\n

Perhaps, I am not spiritually strong?<\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe I am weak.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Or, am I \u00a0‘Conditionally Spiritual’ rather than ‘Unconditionally Spiritual?’ Could I be a good time Charlotte? Someone who is faithful as blessings pour my way and a no show when they abruptly halt?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Who was I spiritually? Why wasn’t my faith as incredibly strong as I believed it to be? Why was I succumbing to the human condition? <\/em><\/p>\n

Why was I allowing my worries to dilute my faith?<\/strong><\/p>\n

After all, if we wholeheartedly BELIEVE there should be an absence of fear, worry, stress and the other ugly counter-intuitive spirituality vocab\u00a0words.<\/p>\n

But here I sat…<\/p>\n

As eager as I once was to ACHIEVE my writer’s voice – begging to ACHIEVE my spiritual voice.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the elusive and exclusive literary world, rejections littered my path. In the ultra-competitive spirituality world, other forces were at work…<\/em><\/p>\n

Once the owner of three homes, I now met foreclosure notices, repo guys, debit cards declined and more than could ever be mentioned. All because I dared to leave a man. The more people who knocked on my door to collect debts, the more my children declined. The more my children suffered the more I worried. And on and on.<\/p>\n

All the while cognizant\u00a0God was at work yet the intensity, duration and exponential effects led me from spiritual feast to famine.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

The nights I tossed and turned and believed I was spiritually defective. A phony. A fake.<\/em><\/p>\n

A real believer would sleep through the night. They would greet the mortgage company representative and the tax collector at the door with a smile.<\/p>\n

God was opening that front door with them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It’s taken some time.<\/em><\/p>\n

More than it possibly should have but…<\/p>\n

This week as my computer broke, my puppy swallowed part of a stuffed toy, more unexpected bills showed up, and I found out I am still months away from finalizing this eternal divorce<\/p>\n

I am calm.<\/em><\/p>\n

I am sleeping through the night again.<\/em><\/p>\n

I couldn’t force myself into finding my writer’s voice all those years ago. It was a process. An evolution. One day I put the pen to the paper and the key to the computer and it all just made sense. This great passion of mine finally had a voice. I had spent years praying for it and working hard for it and wondering why it wasn’t happening.<\/p>\n

I had even doubted myself.<\/em><\/p>\n

If I was, in fact, a writer – how could it not be unfolding sooner?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I AM A WRITER. I was always a writer. I just hadn’t perfected it.<\/em><\/p>\n

I AM SPIRITUAL. I was always spiritual. I just hadn’t perfected it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

True spirituality doesn’t arrive instantaneously. It takes years of praying for it and working hard for it and wondering why it’s not happening.<\/p>\n

It takes…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Foreclosure notices, electricity turned off, the indignity of your card being declined at the grocery store, having only $4 to put in your gas tank, and more.<\/em><\/p>\n

It takes watching your precious children suffer because of choices you once made.<\/em><\/p>\n

In the ultra-competitive spirituality world, \u00a0it means never giving up. Never losing sight of your faith. Never doubting yourself.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

And of course, remembering…<\/p>\n

God is opening that front door with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist on Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I began attending professional writers conferences I would eagerly sit and listen to editors speak of ‘finding your voice.’ At the time, all I could think was…’What the heck does that mean?’ I’m writing my heart out. Isn’t my voice obvious? It took a while before I became seasoned enough to understand their message…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":613,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,14,117,29,9],"tags":[332,230,8,232,56,57,234,231],"class_list":["post-4081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2","category-inspiration","category-self-help","category-self-improvement","category-spirituality","tag-belief","tag-catholic","tag-faith","tag-inspiration","tag-inspirational","tag-self-help","tag-self-improvement","tag-spirituality"],"yoast_head":"\nHow Do You Build Spiritual Endurance? - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/06\/build-spiritual-endurance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Do You Build Spiritual Endurance? - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I began attending professional writers conferences I would eagerly sit and listen to editors speak of ‘finding your voice.’ At the time, all I could think was…’What the heck does that mean?’ I’m writing my heart out. 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