{"id":4057,"date":"2017-05-23T15:28:55","date_gmt":"2017-05-23T15:28:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=4057"},"modified":"2017-06-01T11:45:14","modified_gmt":"2017-06-01T11:45:14","slug":"dont-talk-friend-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/05\/dont-talk-friend-like.html","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Talk About My Friend Like That"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am chatting with a few girls.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Hey, don’t talk about my friend like that!” says my friend who I will nickname ‘Rainbow.’<\/strong><\/p>\n

At first, I am startled. Did I just say something about someone I shouldn’t have?<\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-58592\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Oh, that’s right…I wasn’t talking about another person I was talking about myself in a self-deprecating manner.<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Rainbow’ was sticking up for me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Obviously, I have forgotten how to…have my own back that is.<\/em><\/p>\n

I will admit, I have always been somewhat self-deprecating but divorce has oddly supercharged it.<\/p>\n

I’m not sure whether divorce makes us temporarily lose our self-esteem or self-respect, but sadly it often does.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I talk to people who have left marriages due to affairs, drinking and more – they still despite their anger – lose a part of themselves \u00a0– their dignity and self-respect and self-esteem.<\/em><\/p>\n

It is bewildering the person who feels worse in divorce is the one who did not behave badly but rather fought to save their marriage. Yet, we over time, become a part of a unit and we attach ourselves to that union. And of course, staying in that fractured union too long makes us behave poorly which feeds the need..to self-deprecate.<\/p>\n

The good news?<\/strong><\/p>\n

With truly good counseling AND time your dignity and self-respect and self-esteem returns.<\/em><\/p>\n

But the bad habits can remain.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was beating myself up over a few pounds I have gained when ‘Rainbow’ stuck up for me. Well, more than a few.<\/p>\n

Okay, to be truthful I feel like the before and after pics of the Presidency.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

You know what I am talking about. Four long years does even the youngest President in. The wrinkles and the gray dominate the place where youth and optimism once ruled.<\/em><\/p>\n

That’s me – the before and after of divorce.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Luckily for me…<\/em><\/p>\n

A woman named ‘Rainbow’ \u00a0doesn’t let me talk about her friends.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist on Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am chatting with a few girls. “Hey, don’t talk about my friend like that!” says my friend who I will nickname ‘Rainbow.’ At first, I am startled. Did I just say something about someone I shouldn’t have? Oh, that’s right…I wasn’t talking about another person I was talking about myself in a self-deprecating manner.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":613,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[223,1,104,14],"tags":[2,232],"class_list":["post-4057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-divorce-2","category-friendship","category-inspiration","tag-divorce","tag-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\nDon't Talk About My Friend Like That - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/05\/dont-talk-friend-like.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Don't Talk About My Friend Like That - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am chatting with a few girls. “Hey, don’t talk about my friend like that!” says my friend who I will nickname ‘Rainbow.’ At first, I am startled. 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