{"id":3880,"date":"2017-04-05T15:12:48","date_gmt":"2017-04-05T15:12:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=3880"},"modified":"2017-04-05T15:12:48","modified_gmt":"2017-04-05T15:12:48","slug":"nightmares-divorcemares-futuremares","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/04\/nightmares-divorcemares-futuremares.html","title":{"rendered":"From Nightmares to Divorcemares to Futuremares"},"content":{"rendered":"

I like to joke that I have switched from nightmares to what I call ‘Divorcemares.’<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

And they have run the gammet\u00a0from the mortgage company knocking at my door to claim my house to remarrying my soon to be ex-husband. Dreams are complicated AND therefore, ‘Divorcemares’ are SUPER complicated.<\/p>\n

On a good night, I no longer sleep well.<\/em><\/p>\n

When these scenarios break through my slumber I wake up especially traumatized…Did I say that? I mean tired.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-279453\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The good news?<\/em><\/p>\n

My ‘Divorcemares’ are making way for ‘Futuremares.’<\/strong><\/p>\n

In my very first ‘Futuremare’ I was out having a great time with my girlfriend I like to call ‘Oprah.’ It was like old times. All we were doing was laughing. We couldn’t stop and we couldn’t help ourselves.<\/p>\n

Then in walked my soon to be ex with his new girlfriend.<\/em><\/p>\n

I turn to ‘Oprah’ and joyfully explain this is “Ashley.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

‘Oprah’ tells me if he is dating I better get on it. Who are my prospects? If you knew ‘Oprah’ you would understand. She’s on top of things.<\/p>\n

Reality breaks through my ‘<\/em>Futuremare.’<\/em><\/p>\n

Wow! Turns out I am super ‘dream generous!’ I mean do you know an ‘Ashley’ over the age of thirty??!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have gifted my soon to be ex a young girlfriend in my ‘Futuremare.’<\/p>\n

What’s up with that?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Am I hoping she will be around long enough to definitely take care of him or am I just much nicer in my dream world?<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s like the remarrying my ex ‘Divorcemare’ – just better to not put too much thought into it.<\/p>\n

That is, except for ‘Oprah’s’ advice.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I better get on it – the soon to be dating world.<\/em><\/p>\n

At least in the hemisphere of ‘Futuremares.’<\/p>\n

Do you know any under thirty men’s names?<\/p>\n

After all, it only seems fair.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Photos courtesy of\u00a0Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist on Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n

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I like to joke that I have switched from nightmares to what I call ‘Divorcemares.’ And they have run the gammet\u00a0from the mortgage company knocking at my door to claim my house to remarrying my soon to be ex-husband. Dreams are complicated AND therefore, ‘Divorcemares’ are SUPER complicated. On a good night, I no longer…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":613,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,305],"tags":[82,2,149,72],"class_list":["post-3880","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2","category-humor","tag-dating","tag-divorce","tag-humor","tag-starting-over"],"yoast_head":"\nFrom Nightmares to Divorcemares to Futuremares - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/04\/nightmares-divorcemares-futuremares.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"From Nightmares to Divorcemares to Futuremares - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I like to joke that I have switched from nightmares to what I call ‘Divorcemares.’ And they have run the gammet\u00a0from the mortgage company knocking at my door to claim my house to remarrying my soon to be ex-husband. 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