{"id":3645,"date":"2017-02-07T16:31:09","date_gmt":"2017-02-07T16:31:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=3645"},"modified":"2017-02-07T16:31:09","modified_gmt":"2017-02-07T16:31:09","slug":"how-to-get-over-an-affair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/how-to-get-over-an-affair.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Get over an Affair – Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s an expression in the Alzheimer’s community, “You lose the person you love twice: Once while they are still living and again when they pass on.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

I remember watching my mother suffer throughout this ugly disease. To the world, it appeared I still had my mother but I had grieved her long before she passed and then again as the aforementioned thought appropriately conveys. Only those who have lost a loved one to dementia understand the compounded anguish.<\/p>\n

Divorce is a severe loss and therefore, its companion is profound grief.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The easiest of divorces can prove devastating to both the individual who initiated it and to the one who resisted it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-248016\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Add an affair on top of that and the brutality of emotional upheaval cannot easily be expressed let alone\u00a0processed.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Even in a typical divorce, there is often a sense of betrayal. After all, you both once stood before God and family, and friends and declared a lifetime devotion to each other. The individual walking away from this commitment promotes a feeling of betrayal…to the love, to the friendship, and the marriage.<\/p>\n

An affair is the most egregious betrayal of love. It also presents compounded grief.<\/em><\/p>\n

There is an\u00a0enormous sense of loss not just once but twice.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The first loss is coming to terms with the affair itself. The loss of the marriage and relationship as it was. The sense of being married to a stranger and the troubling questions: How could you do this? Why would you do this? Do I really know you? Don’t you love me?<\/em><\/p>\n

An individual who has been cheated on is dogged by a\u00a0perpetual reel of questions. Ultimately, for many, ending in the realization the person they once loved no longer exists.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

The second loss arrives when the marriage ends.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

In the Alzheimer’s community, there is comfort sharing its trademark expression. It’s a silent nod to the others who have lost one precious person twice in their lives.<\/p>\n

Sadly, the affair community fits a similar profile: You lose the person you love twice: Once while you are still married and again when you move on towards divorce.<\/p>\n

One precious person lost twice in your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Photos courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist
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\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There’s an expression in the Alzheimer’s community, “You lose the person you love twice: Once while they are still living and again when they pass on.” I remember watching my mother suffer throughout this ugly disease. To the world, it appeared I still had my mother but I had grieved her long before she passed…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[306,1],"tags":[273,307,2,229,4],"class_list":["post-3645","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-affair","category-divorce-2","tag-affairs","tag-cheating","tag-divorce","tag-marriage","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Get over an Affair - Part 1 - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/how-to-get-over-an-affair.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Get over an Affair - Part 1 - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There’s an expression in the Alzheimer’s community, “You lose the person you love twice: Once while they are still living and again when they pass on.” I remember watching my mother suffer throughout this ugly disease. 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