{"id":3612,"date":"2017-02-01T15:29:47","date_gmt":"2017-02-01T15:29:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=3612"},"modified":"2017-02-01T15:29:47","modified_gmt":"2017-02-01T15:29:47","slug":"divorce-returning-normalcy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html","title":{"rendered":"Divorce: Returning to Normalcy"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am driving down the road and realize something feels off today.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At first, I can’t put the proverbial finger on it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then I realize…<\/p>\n

Wow, I actually slept through the entire night. No divorcemares. No tossing and turning. No up in the middle of the night.<\/p>\n

I not only have my hair done I am in FULL makeup. Not the half up, half done look I have been sporting in divorce (at least way more than I should).I<\/p>\n

In the first hour of being up I have made three normal life calls, such as\u00a0doctor appointment, vet, car maintenance, etc.<\/p>\n

And the scale indicates I have lost four of what I refer to as the ’30 pounds of “Ralph”‘ I have gained in divorce.<\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-257849\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I know, it doesn’t sound all that earth-shattering. Yet when divorce shatters your world these little normalcies, the easy tasks of life which can be done with your hands tied behind your back become impossible.<\/p>\n

You can’t think straight, you don’t sleep at night, you lose weight, you gain weight, you worry about your children, you stress about your finances and more.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So I am happy and proud to say I feel like a normal person today not an ’emotional hostage.’<\/em><\/p>\n

Someone who can return to being a productive member of society and actually live daily life,\u00a0rather than muddle\u00a0my way through it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It’s amazing what a few weeks of actual sleep can do for a person.<\/p>\n

I must confess there is a reason for the soothing slumber. I found out something a few weeks ago. The kind of information which makes a person realize just how foolish they have been for the choices they have made in a relationship. And it lit a fire underneath me. I was furious. No, not at my husband. At myself for staying as long as I did and for making as many excuses as I did. For allowing someone to control me even in divorce and truth be told, more so in divorce.<\/p>\n

I am done allowing the control in my life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Still somehow trying to accommodate for fear there could be even greater consequences in divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be this brutal. It doesn’t have to be this debilitating. It could actually be fair.<\/p>\n

We can only control ourselves. <\/strong><\/p>\n

We can’t control others but we can control how much we allow someone else to control us.<\/em><\/p>\n

When we figure out how to lessen their control over our lives we can reclaim them and our version of normalcy (and sleep).<\/p>\n

I am driving down the road and realize something feels off today…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Or should I say on?<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist on Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am driving down the road and realize something feels off today. At first, I can’t put the proverbial finger on it. Then I realize… Wow, I actually slept through the entire night. No divorcemares. No tossing and turning. No up in the middle of the night. I not only have my hair done I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,29],"tags":[2,57],"class_list":["post-3612","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2","category-self-improvement","tag-divorce","tag-self-help"],"yoast_head":"\nDivorce: Returning to Normalcy - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Divorce: Returning to Normalcy - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am driving down the road and realize something feels off today. At first, I can’t put the proverbial finger on it. Then I realize… Wow, I actually slept through the entire night. No divorcemares. No tossing and turning. No up in the middle of the night. I not only have my hair done I…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-02-01T15:29:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2017\/02\/pexels-photo-257849-300x200.jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Divorce: Returning to Normalcy - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Divorce: Returning to Normalcy - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"I am driving down the road and realize something feels off today. At first, I can’t put the proverbial finger on it. Then I realize… Wow, I actually slept through the entire night. No divorcemares. No tossing and turning. No up in the middle of the night. I not only have my hair done I…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html","og_site_name":"How Great Thou Part","article_published_time":"2017-02-01T15:29:47+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2017\/02\/pexels-photo-257849-300x200.jpeg"}],"author":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html","name":"Divorce: Returning to Normalcy - How Great Thou Part","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2017\/02\/pexels-photo-257849-300x200.jpeg","datePublished":"2017-02-01T15:29:47+00:00","dateModified":"2017-02-01T15:29:47+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2017\/02\/pexels-photo-257849-300x200.jpeg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2017\/02\/pexels-photo-257849-300x200.jpeg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/02\/divorce-returning-normalcy.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Divorce: Returning to Normalcy"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/","name":"How Great Thou Part","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Colleen Orme","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15","name":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","description":"Born and raised in Northern Virginia outside of Washington, D.C., I often call myself a southern New Yorker, much to the dismay of my true New Yorker buddies. Born to my native Brooklyn parents, I have a love of all things city and all things country. I found myself in the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, which prior to The Office, nary a soul could envision less you found yourself on the hills of Interstate 81. I was held up there while I pursued my B.S. in Business. I have two passions: Business marketing and writing. The two are not so terribly different. Why? Cultivating a brand is in essence the story and the connecting of the dots of a corporate entity. I write features for various magazines and newspapers and I am a national divorce columnist (what can I say things didn\u2019t turn out quite the way I thought they would). I am also a former business columnist. For more than fifteen years, I spent my summers on the Jersey Shore in what I call my \u2018out of state\u2019 clothes once again magnetized to the northerners I find so familiar. If I were to brand my writing, I would say I write of LOVE. That is the core from which I begin most stories. I find myself drawn to dig for the moments in the story that are the passion that drive the message. It may be the love of what originally started a business or an authentically motivated personal profile, or simply the love of a subject being investigated which compels me to write. My forever favorite form of writing is the human interest essay or what I call, \u201cAn Interview With Life.\u201d The average day that is explored and somehow once again instills in us a joie de vivre\u2026..a joy of life. These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3612","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3612"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3612\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3616,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3612\/revisions\/3616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}