{"id":3503,"date":"2017-01-13T17:33:49","date_gmt":"2017-01-13T17:33:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=3503"},"modified":"2017-01-13T17:41:39","modified_gmt":"2017-01-13T17:41:39","slug":"texting-short-long-texter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/01\/texting-short-long-texter.html","title":{"rendered":"Texting: Are you a Short or Long Texter?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I need a 12 step program for ‘long-texting.’<\/strong><\/p>\n

My friend who I like to refer to as ‘Oprah’ (again, names always changed to protect the innocent who hang out with me) recently told me as much.<\/p>\n

\"person-woman-apple-iphone\"<\/a>It went something along the lines that somehow during work she might not have time to read my novelesque messages.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Really? (protests this writer feigning shock)<\/p>\n

Me? A ‘long-texter??’\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

In my defense, I’m not really in a ‘short-texting’ – WASUP GIRLFRIEND?! – Stage of my life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

More like a….<\/em><\/p>\n

You will not believe what just happened!!
\nOh my goodness I need my mother but you will do!!
\nIs this really what my life has become?!!!!
\nI think I may soon need medical treatment!!
\nI am seeking a surrogate parent in my life – will you apply?!!
\nPlease text back to confirm I am not in fact, crazy!!!!
\nGod doesn’t seem to be listening at the moment, can you?!!!!<\/p>\n

Time of my life!<\/strong><\/p>\n

I promise I will return to ‘short-texting!’ After all, I have no desire to appear technologically ancient! I aspire to all forms of anti-aging tools and methodology far outside creams and botox.<\/p>\n

I will muddle through the last part of this divorce and return to carefree life. ‘Oprah’ will then miss my history lesson texts as they will be replaced by:<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Okay def will!”<\/p>\n

“IDK LOL.”<\/p>\n

“OMG that’s baddd!”<\/p>\n

EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI<\/p>\n

Who am I kidding? I am a writer! ‘Short-texts’ are my kryptonite!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Who’s idea was it to drive phone calls to the point of extinction?<\/em><\/p>\n

Some of us over communicative\u00a0dinosaurs still need them!<\/em><\/p>\n

Especially when we aren’t in a – WU GF! – Stage of our lives.<\/strong><\/p>\n

More like a…<\/strong><\/p>\n

“@TEOTD 2M2H CLAB LHM”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Time of my life \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey, ‘Oprah’ short enough? You just helped shave ten technological years off me – feeling younger already!<\/strong><\/p>\n

TMB GF : -)<\/strong><\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist
\non Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I need a 12 step program for ‘long-texting.’ My friend who I like to refer to as ‘Oprah’ (again, names always changed to protect the innocent who hang out with me) recently told me as much. 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