{"id":3465,"date":"2017-01-05T05:21:11","date_gmt":"2017-01-05T05:21:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=3465"},"modified":"2017-01-05T05:21:11","modified_gmt":"2017-01-05T05:21:11","slug":"3-surprisingly-great-reasons-divorce-can-improve-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/01\/3-surprisingly-great-reasons-divorce-can-improve-life.html","title":{"rendered":"3 Surprisingly Great Reasons Divorce Can Improve Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay, so no one chooses divorce.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

It chooses you.<\/em><\/p>\n

It is a last resort. An ending to a story you wish was otherwise written.<\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-87346\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And you hold onto that ending for a long time. No one wants to leave a movie feeling like they could have written it better.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

It is, after all, so much easier to join together ‘two’ than it is to unwind a union years in the making.<\/p>\n

Yet, once you muddle through the hairy and the scary – there truly is a ‘merry.’<\/p>\n

And every person owes it to themselves to continue to treat the wounds of divorce rather than permit them to become scars. The hurt should be attended to and not covered up. It should be treated by a doctor if necessary.<\/p>\n

It should shape you not change you.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

And once that happens, a brighter perspective can be seen.<\/p>\n

3 Surprisingly Great Reasons Divorce Can Improve Your Life<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Self-Restoration – <\/strong><\/p>\n

Just the word ‘restoration’ alone sounds liberating. Add the ‘self’ in front of it and it becomes exciting.<\/em><\/p>\n

Divorce is an emancipation.<\/p>\n

It is empowerment.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you let go of an unhealthy relationship you seize control of our life. One that may have involved discarding much of yourself throughout the unhappiness. Another liberating benefit? Often in a bad relationship, you feel trapped as if you have few choices or ways out. Making the bold decision to decide you deserve better erases the former feeling of powerlessness.<\/p>\n

Therefore, the move to divorce sparks the beginning of restoring your personal choices and self-protecting.<\/em><\/p>\n

You can improve your life. You can improve your happiness. You can improve yourself.<\/p>\n

Even more exciting? What does your own personal brand of ‘self-restoration’ look like? Do you hope to go back to school? Learn how to improve your next relationship? Take an adventure-filled vacation? Improve your self-image? The choices are endless.<\/p>\n

2. Peace – <\/strong><\/p>\n

Most would expect this heading to be explained by ‘no more arguments.’<\/p>\n

On the contrary, ‘peace’ comes with once again, liking who you are.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A sour relationship brings out the ugliness in all of us, regardless of how good we may have been, to begin with.<\/em><\/p>\n

There is an undeniable peace which comes with letting go of a situation you ultimately could not fix. <\/strong><\/p>\n

However, peace is not immediate. That would be impossible because grief immediately follows the difficult decision of divorce. Peace is an evolution. It is derived from a\u00a0process of shedding sadness and regret and with every layer lost, a bit of tranquility moves in to take its place.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, one day you feel proud of who you are again and of your behavior. You recognized how unhappiness exposed an ugliness and you corrected it. There is no more shame.<\/p>\n

There is a peace in feeling right with the world and comfortable in your own skin.<\/em><\/p>\n

3. A New Beginning –<\/strong><\/p>\n

As much as you may have resisted your unwanted ending, it finally gives way to a fresh beginning.<\/p>\n

New beginnings are opportunities to surprise ourselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There is a bit of fear coupled with the realization that anything is possible.<\/em><\/p>\n

A much better alternative to your pre-divorce dilemma where you were already fairly certain of the outcome.<\/p>\n

So what would you like your new beginning to look like? Where do you want to take your new story in the long-term?<\/p>\n

These questions are exciting though of course, divorce initially makes them appear overwhelming. Why? Because you have too many re-runs playing in your head to even begin to think about an entirely different show.<\/p>\n

Yet, it is a different show. You get a chance for a do-over.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

There are so many wonderful choices to make. So many great experiences to have. So many paths to walk.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You have given yourself a different type of re-write. Your marriage ended because you have an evolving story to tell. So do the exhilarating and soul-searching work of delving into your purpose and what drives your heart. It will lead your in the very best direction of your new beginning.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No one chooses divorce.<\/em><\/p>\n

It chooses you.<\/p>\n

And then YOU choose where you go from there.<\/strong><\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist
\non Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, so no one chooses divorce.\u00a0 It chooses you. It is a last resort. An ending to a story you wish was otherwise written. And you hold onto that ending for a long time. No one wants to leave a movie feeling like they could have written it better.\u00a0 It is, after all, so much…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,183,29],"tags":[2,222,229,4,57,234],"class_list":["post-3465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2","category-relationships-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-divorce","tag-divorcing-women","tag-marriage","tag-relationships","tag-self-help","tag-self-improvement"],"yoast_head":"\n3 Surprisingly Great Reasons Divorce Can Improve Your Life - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2017\/01\/3-surprisingly-great-reasons-divorce-can-improve-life.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 Surprisingly Great Reasons Divorce Can Improve Your Life - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Okay, so no one chooses divorce.\u00a0 It chooses you. 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These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3465","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3465"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3465\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3470,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3465\/revisions\/3470"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}