{"id":3327,"date":"2016-12-14T07:50:29","date_gmt":"2016-12-14T07:50:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=3327"},"modified":"2016-12-14T07:50:29","modified_gmt":"2016-12-14T07:50:29","slug":"hey-relationship-ninjas-shed-masks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/12\/hey-relationship-ninjas-shed-masks.html","title":{"rendered":"Hey Relationship Ninjas: Shed Your Masks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Each year we strive to not repeat much of our past.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the relationship world, that statistic is stacked against us.<\/em><\/p>\n

Admit it! When we are young, we believe we are relationship Ninjas!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Immune to any sort of duplication of our past!<\/em><\/p>\n

Our mother! God love her! We won’t make her mistakes! We won’t remain with a man who thought us invisible. Sacrifice our days to children sans any type of professional career. No school volunteering, library reading, paycheck-less existence for us.<\/p>\n

\"couples\"<\/a><\/p>\n

WE will be relevant to our spouses, to our children, to our profession…to the WORLD.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh and our father??!!<\/p>\n

WE won’t marry him! We won’t tolerate being told what to spend and on what. We won’t be shushed during some infantile ball throwing television sporting event. We won’t witness a grumpy man saying he has no time for anything but his work as if he is the most important man on this earth.<\/p>\n

WE will overcome!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Or will we?<\/em><\/p>\n

For many years, we will most assuredly believe we have outsmarted our parents. Our insight and intellectual acumen somehow the miraculous intersection that made us emotionally brilliant.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We will live in exquisitely decorated houses that are clean nonetheless!<\/p>\n

We will execute a routine that makes our disorganized, large family upbringing border on barbaric.<\/p>\n

We will judge and do it well. If only they knew how to husband and wife and to parent their kids…just like us!<\/p>\n

We will believe ourselves superior!<\/p>\n

And not because of any type of inflated ego but because we believe we were magically coherent and observant in our childhood.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

We believed we were calculating, adding up all the mistakes our parents were making. We are SO smart! If only our parents had been open to being as wise! We would have ZERO, I mean ZERO childhood regrets! It’s like we achieved a PhD\u00a0in family and relationships!<\/p>\n

We’re SO smart!<\/strong><\/p>\n

And smart people stay smart, right? Well, of course! Until age sags a bit more than wisdom!<\/em><\/p>\n

We remain in our\u00a0prophetically self-appointed unions. Our house is still clean. We are ever the organizational geniuses!<\/p>\n

And did I mention relationship zealots?<\/em><\/p>\n

I know, say it ain’t so! But it is! Our rigid childhood judgments which alternate between immature perfection and aging reality collide. I think it’s called acceptance.<\/p>\n

Turns our life can be hard. Really well-intentioned love can screw up.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

We actually CHOSE the man we never thought we would choose. We selected the library card yielding wife<\/p>\n

We were never relationship Ninjas!<\/strong><\/p>\n

We lived in exquisitely clean houses and were one big, hot, emotional mess.<\/p>\n

Like every great disaster, we deserve to be tidied up.<\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of Pexels\u00a0)<\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist
\non Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Each year we strive to not repeat much of our past. In the relationship world, that statistic is stacked against us. Admit it! When we are young, we believe we are relationship Ninjas! Immune to any sort of duplication of our past! Our mother! God love her! We won’t make her mistakes! We won’t remain…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[223,217,108,176,29,109],"tags":[36,4],"class_list":["post-3327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-motivational","category-new-beginnings","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","category-starting-over","tag-family","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nHey Relationship Ninjas: Shed Your Masks - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/12\/hey-relationship-ninjas-shed-masks.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hey Relationship Ninjas: Shed Your Masks - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Each year we strive to not repeat much of our past. 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