{"id":255,"date":"2014-12-08T01:37:10","date_gmt":"2014-12-08T01:37:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=255"},"modified":"2014-12-08T01:37:10","modified_gmt":"2014-12-08T01:37:10","slug":"how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Know If You Should End Your Marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cWhy did you do it?\u201d <\/p>\n<p>I am asked that question frequently. You may be surprised at the remarks that fly my way&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLots of couples are unhappy,\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cIt\u2019s better for the kids to stay married,\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWho do you know that truly has a happy marriage?\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cStay together for the kids and just live your own life.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cHow will you support yourself and your family after all of these years?\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cThe grass is never greener.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cAll men are the same.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yes, this is just a bit of the \u2018marriage \/ divorce urban legend\u2019 which exists out there. However, for me, my relationship was at a serious weighted deficit.<\/p>\n<p>So I asked myself these questions:<\/p>\n<p>Had I exhausted marital counseling?<br \/>\nHad I assessed our priorities to make sure we were living God and family first?<br \/>\nHad I exhausted personal counseling and self-assessment?<br \/>\nHad the example for my children become less than favorable?<br \/>\nHad one party made it clear that relationship growth would not be possible?<br \/>\nHad only one of us attempted to fix our problems?<br \/>\nHad I sought and exhausted the counsel of clergy, family and friends?<br \/>\nHad we emotionally outgrown one another?<br \/>\nHad our relationship become unhealthy?<br \/>\nHad my worries for my children duplicating this type of relationship grown?<\/p>\n<p>The answer to all of these questions was \u2018yes.\u2019 <\/p>\n<p>In addition to that, my own personal \u2018brand\u2019 no longer had any real shelf value. If I no longer had a strong and authentic self (brand) then how could my purpose be profitable in life? How would I be of value and not waste what I am meant to contribute to my children, my family, my friends and to the world? <\/p>\n<p>I believe that only in happiness can we truly be generous in life&#8230;<br \/>\ngenerous of heart,<br \/>\ngenerous of love,<br \/>\ngenerous of kindness,<br \/>\ngenerous of respect,<br \/>\ngenerous of loyalty,<br \/>\ngenerous of confidence<br \/>\nand generous of spirit. <\/p>\n<p>I knew that I need to be happy enough to be a giver again. It is my utmost personal belief that unhappiness makes us takers. I had spent far too much time immersed in my own little world and my own problems. I did not enjoy the world view from that place. I was reduced to depleting those I loved and not rejuvenating them.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore, the simple truth&#8230;<br \/>\nThe day came when my fear of staying overpowered my fear of leaving.<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2014\/12\/Life_Shoule_be_an_experiment.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/374\/2014\/12\/Life_Shoule_be_an_experiment-300x147.jpg\" alt=\"Life_Shoule_be_an_experiment\" width=\"300\" height=\"147\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-256\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Sheehy Orme<br \/>\non Twitter @colleenorme<br \/>\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme<br \/>\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com<br \/>\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cWhy did you do it?\u201d I am asked that question frequently. You may be surprised at the remarks that fly my way&#8230; \u201cLots of couples are unhappy,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s better for the kids to stay married,\u201d \u201cWho do you know that truly has a happy marriage?\u201d \u201cStay together for the kids and just live your own&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1,14,3,29,9],"tags":[230,6,2,8,232,229,43,4,234,231,21],"class_list":["post-255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-catholic","category-divorce-2","category-inspiration","category-marriage","category-self-improvement","category-spirituality","tag-catholic","tag-counseling","tag-divorce","tag-faith","tag-inspiration","tag-marriage","tag-marriagecounseling","tag-relationships","tag-self-improvement","tag-spirituality","tag-strength"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Do You Know If You Should End Your Marriage? - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Do You Know If You Should End Your Marriage? - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cWhy did you do it?\u201d I am asked that question frequently. You may be surprised at the remarks that fly my way&#8230; \u201cLots of couples are unhappy,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s better for the kids to stay married,\u201d \u201cWho do you know that truly has a happy marriage?\u201d \u201cStay together for the kids and just live your own&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-12-08T01:37:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2014\/12\/Life_Shoule_be_an_experiment-300x147.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How Do You Know If You Should End Your Marriage? - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How Do You Know If You Should End Your Marriage? - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"\u201cWhy did you do it?\u201d I am asked that question frequently. You may be surprised at the remarks that fly my way&#8230; \u201cLots of couples are unhappy,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s better for the kids to stay married,\u201d \u201cWho do you know that truly has a happy marriage?\u201d \u201cStay together for the kids and just live your own&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html","og_site_name":"How Great Thou Part","article_published_time":"2014-12-08T01:37:10+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2014\/12\/Life_Shoule_be_an_experiment-300x147.jpg"}],"author":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html","name":"How Do You Know If You Should End Your Marriage? - How Great Thou Part","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2014\/12\/Life_Shoule_be_an_experiment-300x147.jpg","datePublished":"2014-12-08T01:37:10+00:00","dateModified":"2014-12-08T01:37:10+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2014\/12\/Life_Shoule_be_an_experiment-300x147.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2014\/12\/Life_Shoule_be_an_experiment-300x147.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/12\/how-do-you-know-if-you-should-end-your-marriage.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How Do You Know If You Should End Your Marriage?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/","name":"How Great Thou Part","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Colleen Orme","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15","name":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","description":"Born and raised in Northern Virginia outside of Washington, D.C., I often call myself a southern New Yorker, much to the dismay of my true New Yorker buddies. Born to my native Brooklyn parents, I have a love of all things city and all things country. I found myself in the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, which prior to The Office, nary a soul could envision less you found yourself on the hills of Interstate 81. I was held up there while I pursued my B.S. in Business. I have two passions: Business marketing and writing. The two are not so terribly different. Why? Cultivating a brand is in essence the story and the connecting of the dots of a corporate entity. I write features for various magazines and newspapers and I am a national divorce columnist (what can I say things didn\u2019t turn out quite the way I thought they would). I am also a former business columnist. For more than fifteen years, I spent my summers on the Jersey Shore in what I call my \u2018out of state\u2019 clothes once again magnetized to the northerners I find so familiar. If I were to brand my writing, I would say I write of LOVE. That is the core from which I begin most stories. I find myself drawn to dig for the moments in the story that are the passion that drive the message. It may be the love of what originally started a business or an authentically motivated personal profile, or simply the love of a subject being investigated which compels me to write. My forever favorite form of writing is the human interest essay or what I call, \u201cAn Interview With Life.\u201d The average day that is explored and somehow once again instills in us a joie de vivre\u2026..a joy of life. These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=255"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":257,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255\/revisions\/257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}