{"id":2215,"date":"2016-06-24T07:03:31","date_gmt":"2016-06-24T07:03:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=2215"},"modified":"2016-06-24T08:50:59","modified_gmt":"2016-06-24T08:50:59","slug":"5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html","title":{"rendered":"6 Reasons to Fear Leaving a Narcissist"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There are significant reasons one should fear leaving a narcissist.<\/p>\n<p>A narcissist can escalate when an individual decides to leave or divorce them. <\/p>\n<p>They can become outraged, enraged, indignant, irrational and more. Many of the same qualities of the average separating individual; however, the narcissist never balances their emotions and finds healing. They truly<br \/>\nbelieve that the other person has permanently done them wrong.<\/p>\n<p>This is a frightening phenomenon and why narcissism is labeled a personality disorder.<\/p>\n<p>Narcissists lack empathy, a developmental stage you learn in childhood. They do not have the ability to feel other people&#8217;s pain. They live in their own perception of reality. They live in their own world. They feel their own pain intensely. In fact, so strongly that they are arrogant and indignant and unforgiving if they believe they have been crossed. <\/p>\n<p>They are difficult to leave because they are not seeking resolution or divorce. They are seeking retribution.<\/p>\n<p>1. They have zero empathy. A narcissist lacks empathy and does not feel other people&#8217;s pain so they will endanger the spouse and children they are leaving. They will feel no need to provide money to feed their family, have health insurance for their family or worry about their family.<\/p>\n<p>2. They are punishers. A narcissist will punish the person who they are divorcing. They will lower their income, quit their jobs or declare bankruptcy and make divorce a ridiculously elongated process just so that they can win.<\/p>\n<p>3. They are controllers. A narcissist will control a spouse throughout the divorce. They will keep bringing their spouse back to court, they will keep fighting over property and money.<\/p>\n<p>4. They are bullies. They will go after a spouse again and again, in a game of cat and mouse. Sadly, the bully will not be easily shut down as their immediate family is equally as narcissistic and their friends will be oblivious in some ways because they only see the charming bully not the true bully.<\/p>\n<p>5. They will use their own children. A narcissist will use and confuse their own children. They will use their own children if it means they can manipulate the outcome that they want.<\/p>\n<p>6. They live in a false perception of reality. Worse they actually beleive their percpetion of reality. A narcissist will be abusive. They will stoop to whatever means possible to justify their perception of reality.<\/p>\n<p>A narcissist is a damaged individual. They are so broken that they will attempt to break the person that they are<br \/>\nleaving to make themselves feel grandiose. Like all master bully&#8217;s they domineer in an abusive manner.<\/p>\n<p>One of the most frightening aspects of the narcissist is that they walk amongst society not always detectable. They are typically attractive, charming and successful people. Yet, they are anything but that. <\/p>\n<p>They are complicated. They are insecure.<\/p>\n<p>There are some theories that narcissists are anything, but insecure with their over-exaggerated sense of ego; however, common sense dictates otherwise. Confident people don&#8217;t behave this way.<\/p>\n<p>Do not fear the narcissist. Though you will when you initially try to break away from them.<\/p>\n<p>Do not fear the bully.<\/p>\n<p>The bully is not and never has been strong. The person that defies the bully is strong.<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/black-and-white-person-woman-girl.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/374\/2016\/06\/black-and-white-person-woman-girl-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"black-and-white-person-woman-girl\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-2219\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>(Photo courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n<p>Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist<br \/>\non Twitter @colleenorme<br \/>\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme<br \/>\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com<br \/>\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are significant reasons one should fear leaving a narcissist. A narcissist can escalate when an individual decides to leave or divorce them. They can become outraged, enraged, indignant, irrational and more. Many of the same qualities of the average separating individual; however, the narcissist never balances their emotions and finds healing. They truly believe&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[242,243],"class_list":["post-2215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2","tag-bully","tag-bullying"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>6 Reasons to Fear Leaving a Narcissist - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"6 Reasons to Fear Leaving a Narcissist - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are significant reasons one should fear leaving a narcissist. A narcissist can escalate when an individual decides to leave or divorce them. They can become outraged, enraged, indignant, irrational and more. Many of the same qualities of the average separating individual; however, the narcissist never balances their emotions and finds healing. They truly believe&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-06-24T07:03:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-06-24T08:50:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/black-and-white-person-woman-girl-300x169.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"6 Reasons to Fear Leaving a Narcissist - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"6 Reasons to Fear Leaving a Narcissist - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"There are significant reasons one should fear leaving a narcissist. A narcissist can escalate when an individual decides to leave or divorce them. They can become outraged, enraged, indignant, irrational and more. Many of the same qualities of the average separating individual; however, the narcissist never balances their emotions and finds healing. They truly believe&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html","og_site_name":"How Great Thou Part","article_published_time":"2016-06-24T07:03:31+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-06-24T08:50:59+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/black-and-white-person-woman-girl-300x169.jpg"}],"author":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html","name":"6 Reasons to Fear Leaving a Narcissist - How Great Thou Part","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/black-and-white-person-woman-girl-300x169.jpg","datePublished":"2016-06-24T07:03:31+00:00","dateModified":"2016-06-24T08:50:59+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/black-and-white-person-woman-girl-300x169.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/black-and-white-person-woman-girl-300x169.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/5-reasons-fear-leaving-narcissist.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"6 Reasons to Fear Leaving a Narcissist"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/","name":"How Great Thou Part","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Colleen Orme","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15","name":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","description":"Born and raised in Northern Virginia outside of Washington, D.C., I often call myself a southern New Yorker, much to the dismay of my true New Yorker buddies. Born to my native Brooklyn parents, I have a love of all things city and all things country. I found myself in the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, which prior to The Office, nary a soul could envision less you found yourself on the hills of Interstate 81. I was held up there while I pursued my B.S. in Business. I have two passions: Business marketing and writing. The two are not so terribly different. Why? Cultivating a brand is in essence the story and the connecting of the dots of a corporate entity. I write features for various magazines and newspapers and I am a national divorce columnist (what can I say things didn\u2019t turn out quite the way I thought they would). I am also a former business columnist. For more than fifteen years, I spent my summers on the Jersey Shore in what I call my \u2018out of state\u2019 clothes once again magnetized to the northerners I find so familiar. If I were to brand my writing, I would say I write of LOVE. That is the core from which I begin most stories. I find myself drawn to dig for the moments in the story that are the passion that drive the message. It may be the love of what originally started a business or an authentically motivated personal profile, or simply the love of a subject being investigated which compels me to write. My forever favorite form of writing is the human interest essay or what I call, \u201cAn Interview With Life.\u201d The average day that is explored and somehow once again instills in us a joie de vivre\u2026..a joy of life. These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2215"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2223,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215\/revisions\/2223"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}