{"id":2173,"date":"2016-06-15T13:21:59","date_gmt":"2016-06-15T13:21:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=2173"},"modified":"2016-06-15T13:42:51","modified_gmt":"2016-06-15T13:42:51","slug":"here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html","title":{"rendered":"Here Are the 10 Reasons Most Relationships Contradict LOVE"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The real problem with most relationships? <\/p>\n<p><strong>They revolve around difficult personalities rather than LOVE.<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>It&#8217;s a complete contradiction.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Yet, we tolerate it as an acceptable norm. <\/p>\n<p>We need to elevate the hypocrisy. A tremendous number of relationships don&#8217;t end because of a lack of love, they end because an ego (I mean a person &#8211; did I just say that?) can&#8217;t get out of its own way. They would rather lose it all and remain prideful and in control than to surrender to one of life&#8217;s greatest blessings. <\/p>\n<p><strong>The gift of LOVE.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>10 Reasons Most Relationships Contradict LOVE:<\/em><\/p>\n<p>1. An individual&#8217;s need to be in control will drive them to dismiss another person&#8217;s feelings rather than show empathy and sorrow.<\/p>\n<p>2. An individual&#8217;s need to be in control will drive their extreme need to be right to a point where they will leave a person they love rather than admit fault.<\/p>\n<p>3. An individual&#8217;s need for control will ultimately signify a lack of respect which they convince themselves is normal rather than the overt intolerance and arrogance that it is.<\/p>\n<p>4. An individual&#8217;s need to be in control to a point where they will hang up a phone, walk out of a room, or a house to show another person that they are the boss rather demonstrate love.<\/p>\n<p>5. An individual&#8217;s need to be in control to a point where they will passive-aggressively ruin a day or an event, ignore a text or be silent rather than engage in conflict resolution and choose love.<\/p>\n<p>4. An individual&#8217;s need to be in control and live life with only their rules and philosophies will make them convince themselves that the other person is actually wrong in living life another way.<\/p>\n<p>5. An individual&#8217;s need to be in control will prohibit them from gifting forgiveness because they live with the mistaken belief that they have never hurt anyone themselves.<\/p>\n<p>6. An individual&#8217;s immaturity in not taking responsibility for themselves and their own actions and hurting another person is something they will convince themselves they had the right to do since they were unhappy.<\/p>\n<p>7. An individual&#8217;s absolute inability to hear another person because they have made up their mind that they are right and they believe they know everything.<\/p>\n<p>8. An individual&#8217;s spoiled need to behave badly because they are upset or unhappy and arrogantly justifying their tantrum because they believe the situation warranted it.<\/p>\n<p>9. An individual&#8217;s need to prove a point to a person they love rather than be confident enough to admit being wrong. <\/p>\n<p>10. An individual&#8217;s spoiled need to punish another person for hurting them and convincing themselves the person deserves it.<\/p>\n<p>These types of unions are NOT relationships of LOVE.<\/p>\n<p>They are relationships of EGO.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, they are not relationships at all. They are parties of one. <\/p>\n<p>One difficult personality with the inability to love another more than they love themselves.<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/374\/2016\/06\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483-300x200.jpeg\" alt=\"divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-2179\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n(Photo Courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n<p>Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist<br \/>\non Twitter @colleenorme<br \/>\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme<br \/>\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com<br \/>\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The real problem with most relationships? They revolve around difficult personalities rather than LOVE. It&#8217;s a complete contradiction. Yet, we tolerate it as an acceptable norm. We need to elevate the hypocrisy. A tremendous number of relationships don&#8217;t end because of a lack of love, they end because an ego (I mean a person &#8211;&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[184,70,6,241,2,229,77,4],"class_list":["post-2173","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2","tag-breakups","tag-control","tag-counseling","tag-difficult-personalities","tag-divorce","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-counseling","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Here Are the 10 Reasons Most Relationships Contradict LOVE - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Here Are the 10 Reasons Most Relationships Contradict LOVE - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The real problem with most relationships? They revolve around difficult personalities rather than LOVE. It&#8217;s a complete contradiction. Yet, we tolerate it as an acceptable norm. We need to elevate the hypocrisy. A tremendous number of relationships don&#8217;t end because of a lack of love, they end because an ego (I mean a person &#8211;&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-06-15T13:21:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-06-15T13:42:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483-300x200.jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Here Are the 10 Reasons Most Relationships Contradict LOVE - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Here Are the 10 Reasons Most Relationships Contradict LOVE - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"The real problem with most relationships? They revolve around difficult personalities rather than LOVE. It&#8217;s a complete contradiction. Yet, we tolerate it as an acceptable norm. We need to elevate the hypocrisy. A tremendous number of relationships don&#8217;t end because of a lack of love, they end because an ego (I mean a person &#8211;&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html","og_site_name":"How Great Thou Part","article_published_time":"2016-06-15T13:21:59+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-06-15T13:42:51+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483-300x200.jpeg"}],"author":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html","name":"Here Are the 10 Reasons Most Relationships Contradict LOVE - How Great Thou Part","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483-300x200.jpeg","datePublished":"2016-06-15T13:21:59+00:00","dateModified":"2016-06-15T13:42:51+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483-300x200.jpeg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/06\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483-300x200.jpeg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/06\/here-are-the-10-reasons-most-relationships-contradict-love.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Here Are the 10 Reasons Most Relationships Contradict LOVE"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/","name":"How Great Thou Part","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Colleen Orme","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15","name":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","description":"Born and raised in Northern Virginia outside of Washington, D.C., I often call myself a southern New Yorker, much to the dismay of my true New Yorker buddies. Born to my native Brooklyn parents, I have a love of all things city and all things country. I found myself in the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, which prior to The Office, nary a soul could envision less you found yourself on the hills of Interstate 81. I was held up there while I pursued my B.S. in Business. I have two passions: Business marketing and writing. The two are not so terribly different. Why? Cultivating a brand is in essence the story and the connecting of the dots of a corporate entity. I write features for various magazines and newspapers and I am a national divorce columnist (what can I say things didn\u2019t turn out quite the way I thought they would). I am also a former business columnist. For more than fifteen years, I spent my summers on the Jersey Shore in what I call my \u2018out of state\u2019 clothes once again magnetized to the northerners I find so familiar. If I were to brand my writing, I would say I write of LOVE. That is the core from which I begin most stories. I find myself drawn to dig for the moments in the story that are the passion that drive the message. It may be the love of what originally started a business or an authentically motivated personal profile, or simply the love of a subject being investigated which compels me to write. My forever favorite form of writing is the human interest essay or what I call, \u201cAn Interview With Life.\u201d The average day that is explored and somehow once again instills in us a joie de vivre\u2026..a joy of life. These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2173","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2173"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2173\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2188,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2173\/revisions\/2188"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}