{"id":208,"date":"2014-11-13T17:59:00","date_gmt":"2014-11-13T17:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=208"},"modified":"2014-11-14T18:15:10","modified_gmt":"2014-11-14T18:15:10","slug":"finding-your-purpose-while-grieving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2014\/11\/finding-your-purpose-while-grieving.html","title":{"rendered":"Finding Your Purpose While Grieving"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am chatting with my friend, Crystal (as always, name changed to protect the innocent). The sadness in her voice is palpable. It is just about a week after the anniversary of her father\u2019s death and days after returning from her brother-in-law\u2019s funeral.<\/p>\n

Crystal is reflective. Death brings this out in people. <\/p>\n

I, too, am reflective because of the loss my family has suffered these past years and because I have just interviewed, Anna Whiston-Donaldson, author of \u201cRare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love.\u201d<\/p>\n

I reflect on a quote which I have just read.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are years that ask questions, and years that answer,\u201d Zora Neale Hurston<\/p>\n

This quote speaks to me. <\/p>\n

These are the years that ask questions. <\/p>\n

There is a baseline disillusionment with life that comes from losing someone young. At least that is how I feel after losing my precious nephew. The world is not as safe. Bad things do happen. There is unpredictability. I question \u2018time\u2019 and I have a new determination to make my purpose count since Matthew does not have another day to do so. I have an urgency to make things happen.<\/p>\n

For my friend Crystal, she too, is reflective having lost her brother-in-law many years too soon. He was not an old man. He had not yet experienced the privilege of retirement and of spending luxurious time with his family. He was a giver. He volunteered and not the occasional type of volunteering, but the kind where you show up every week, at the same time to give of yourself.<\/p>\n

\u201cI find myself asking, \u2018How am I living and loving the people I am touching while on this earth?\u2019\u201d says Crystal. \u201cWhat am I doing here and what should I be doing that I am not doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Crystal tells me that she feels as if she needs to start volunteering again, get involved and contribute more. <\/p>\n

I reflect for a moment.<\/p>\n

My thoughts go back to my uncle, Father Pat.<\/p>\n

I called him one afternoon to tell him I wanted to volunteer in a soup kitchen in Washington, D.C. After all, if I was going to give, I wanted to give big, right?
\n\u201cColleen, why don\u2019t you volunteer in your own backyard?\u201d he said<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d I responded, quite deflated. There just didn\u2019t seem to be quite the need in suburbia as there did a big city. <\/p>\n

I tell Crystal this story. I tell her how I later learned Father Pat\u2019s wisdom. I needed to be in my own backyard in order to live an authentic and consistent life of giving. Certainly, I could stretch outside its limits from time to time. However, it was the most immediate place where love, kindness, generosity and respect should filter first.<\/p>\n

Crystal and I are searching for our purpose. The one that will make us feel that we are honoring God, ourselves and especially the love\u2019s in our lives that we have lost. <\/p>\n

We agree that we have no immediate answers.<\/p>\n

For these are the years that ask questions.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_4006\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Sheehy Orme
\non Twitter @colleenorme
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\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am chatting with my friend, Crystal (as always, name changed to protect the innocent). The sadness in her voice is palpable. It is just about a week after the anniversary of her father\u2019s death and days after returning from her brother-in-law\u2019s funeral. Crystal is reflective. Death brings this out in people. I, too, am…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,14,29,9],"tags":[230,42,8,39,41,232,11,40,5,19,4,234,231,21],"class_list":["post-208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-catholic","category-inspiration","category-self-improvement","category-spirituality","tag-catholic","tag-death","tag-faith","tag-grief","tag-healing","tag-inspiration","tag-life","tag-loss","tag-love","tag-priests","tag-relationships","tag-self-improvement","tag-spirituality","tag-strength"],"yoast_head":"\nFinding Your Purpose While Grieving - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Finding Your Purpose While Grieving - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am chatting with my friend, Crystal (as always, name changed to protect the innocent). 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