{"id":1806,"date":"2016-04-06T13:19:32","date_gmt":"2016-04-06T13:19:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=1806"},"modified":"2016-04-06T13:19:32","modified_gmt":"2016-04-06T13:19:32","slug":"a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html","title":{"rendered":"A Controversial Marital Thought – Running From the Herd"},"content":{"rendered":"

I dragged my marriage out. I beat the horse, rolled it over, beat it again, moved it, then beat it one more time.<\/p>\n

In the process I became a different person. I wasn’t funny chatty anymore. I was incessantly chatty. No one was listening to me at home. I wasn’t ready to leave. I was going to save my marriage. I still thought I could beat a dead horse and get a different result.<\/p>\n

How naive of me. It takes two to ride a horse. It takes two to save a marriage.<\/p>\n

In this journey of the long road out of a bad situation, my thinking changed drastically.<\/p>\n

I first believed all the other marrieds were happy. I still wanted to be one of them. I wanted to be up on that horse and a part of the herd. However, by the time I actually began surrendering to the fact that my marriage was over, I began noticing what I call the ‘half-happy’s.’ <\/p>\n

The marriages that were vaguely happy. The people that were ‘half-happy.’<\/p>\n

Sure, they weren’t beating the horse – they were still riding it. Seems like success, right? To be up on the horse?
\nInstead of down on the ground beating it?<\/p>\n

The truth is their relationship with that horse was showing the wear and tear of time. They weren’t quite overtly unhappy, but they weren’t truly happy either. Nonetheless, they had a death grip on the horse. They weren’t falling off no matter what. They told themselves things like every horse slows down, every horse gets distracted by other horses, and so on.<\/p>\n

Okay, most married people won’t relate to this example. They will rationalize that they are really happy.<\/p>\n

So let’s give another analogy.<\/p>\n

Let’s say you are working in corporate America. <\/p>\n

It’s a big office filled with all different types of people. You have the young, eager whippersnappers, the fast climbing thirty-somethings, the fat and happy executives and then mixed among these you have the people who are staying not because they are happy, but because they just need ten more years until retirement or because they make too much money to make a move or because they’re too afraid to risk a new job.<\/p>\n

In the beginning of my marital problems it looked like I was the only one who had dismounted. It looked like I was wandering from the herd and all the fat and happy executives.<\/p>\n

Today, I realize I was a risk taker. I didn’t want to be one of the ‘half-happy’s.’ <\/p>\n

Life should be an experiment with joy – not an excuse for why you aren’t completely filled with joy.<\/p>\n

I am no longer sad that I could resurrect that dead horse.<\/p>\n

It was never the right horse for me.<\/p>\n

\"pexels-photo-58875\"<\/a>
\n(Photo courtesy of Pexels)
\nFollow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist
\non Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I dragged my marriage out. I beat the horse, rolled it over, beat it again, moved it, then beat it one more time. In the process I became a different person. I wasn’t funny chatty anymore. I was incessantly chatty. No one was listening to me at home. I wasn’t ready to leave. I was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2,229],"class_list":["post-1806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2","tag-divorce","tag-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\nA Controversial Marital Thought - Running From the Herd - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Controversial Marital Thought - Running From the Herd - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I dragged my marriage out. I beat the horse, rolled it over, beat it again, moved it, then beat it one more time. In the process I became a different person. I wasn’t funny chatty anymore. I was incessantly chatty. No one was listening to me at home. I wasn’t ready to leave. I was…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-04-06T13:19:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/04\/pexels-photo-58875-300x200.jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A Controversial Marital Thought - Running From the Herd - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A Controversial Marital Thought - Running From the Herd - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"I dragged my marriage out. I beat the horse, rolled it over, beat it again, moved it, then beat it one more time. In the process I became a different person. I wasn’t funny chatty anymore. I was incessantly chatty. No one was listening to me at home. I wasn’t ready to leave. I was…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html","og_site_name":"How Great Thou Part","article_published_time":"2016-04-06T13:19:32+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/04\/pexels-photo-58875-300x200.jpeg"}],"author":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html","name":"A Controversial Marital Thought - Running From the Herd - How Great Thou Part","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/04\/pexels-photo-58875-300x200.jpeg","datePublished":"2016-04-06T13:19:32+00:00","dateModified":"2016-04-06T13:19:32+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/04\/pexels-photo-58875-300x200.jpeg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2016\/04\/pexels-photo-58875-300x200.jpeg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2016\/04\/a-controversial-marital-thought-running-from-the-herd.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"A Controversial Marital Thought – Running From the Herd"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/","name":"How Great Thou Part","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Colleen Orme","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15","name":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","description":"Born and raised in Northern Virginia outside of Washington, D.C., I often call myself a southern New Yorker, much to the dismay of my true New Yorker buddies. Born to my native Brooklyn parents, I have a love of all things city and all things country. I found myself in the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, which prior to The Office, nary a soul could envision less you found yourself on the hills of Interstate 81. I was held up there while I pursued my B.S. in Business. I have two passions: Business marketing and writing. The two are not so terribly different. Why? Cultivating a brand is in essence the story and the connecting of the dots of a corporate entity. I write features for various magazines and newspapers and I am a national divorce columnist (what can I say things didn\u2019t turn out quite the way I thought they would). I am also a former business columnist. For more than fifteen years, I spent my summers on the Jersey Shore in what I call my \u2018out of state\u2019 clothes once again magnetized to the northerners I find so familiar. If I were to brand my writing, I would say I write of LOVE. That is the core from which I begin most stories. I find myself drawn to dig for the moments in the story that are the passion that drive the message. It may be the love of what originally started a business or an authentically motivated personal profile, or simply the love of a subject being investigated which compels me to write. My forever favorite form of writing is the human interest essay or what I call, \u201cAn Interview With Life.\u201d The average day that is explored and somehow once again instills in us a joie de vivre\u2026..a joy of life. These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1806","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1806"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1806\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1810,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1806\/revisions\/1810"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}