{"id":1177,"date":"2015-10-27T17:51:21","date_gmt":"2015-10-27T17:51:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=1177"},"modified":"2015-10-27T17:51:21","modified_gmt":"2015-10-27T17:51:21","slug":"4-relationship-lessons-i-learned-on-my-birthday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/4-relationship-lessons-i-learned-on-my-birthday.html","title":{"rendered":"4 Relationship Lessons I Learned on My Birthday"},"content":{"rendered":"

It is my Birthday and I have two articles due. I stop long enough to meet my brother for our traditional Birthday lunch. I return home and perch myself in front of my computer. <\/p>\n

Here’s the thing about leaving an article until the day it’s due – it makes it a LOT harder to write. It’s like writing a term paper that’s due in an hour. It’s difficult to concentrate because all you are really thinking is I only have an hour to finish this thing. Toss in the fact that one of these pieces is for an outlet I have never written for and it’s double the pressure.<\/p>\n

It gave me the opportunity to be a bit deeper in thought than a typical Birthday. When I finally hit ‘send’ at MIDNIGHT (ugh) I had written a third piece: “4 Relationship Lessons I Learned on my Birthday.”<\/p>\n

Reminding people that you love them:<\/p>\n

We need to remind people how special they are far more often because feeling loved is a beautiful thing. On the average, ordinary day we may hug or kiss or say, ‘I love you.’ On the extraordinary days we buy someone’s favorite chocolate, flowers or wine. We tell them what we love about them, what they mean to us and why they are special. We spend more time with them. We remind them why they make our world go round. We amp up the ordinary and add to it. Birthday’s celebrate extraordinary love.<\/p>\n

We are so overly connected that we are disconnected:<\/p>\n

It takes an extraordinary day to make us realize how we live our ordinary days. I am typing and my phone is blowing up and Facebook is blowing up. That can happen on an ordinary day. Only on this extraordinary day my phone is ringing and ringing and ringing. They aren’t just the text alerts that we randomly choose to answer or not answer based on our activities. Rings demand immediate attention. Isn’t that what all the people we love deserve? <\/p>\n

Texting is a quiet world. The phone makes the people we love come alive. <\/p>\n

We are in touch with more people than ever, yet talking less and texting more to those we are closest too.<\/p>\n

Making time for people:<\/p>\n

There is and never will be anything equal to than making time for and spending time with the people who matter to us. The average day seems filled with so much that there isn’t enough time to do this. Somehow, magically on the extraordinary days we have more time for people. The real lesson here is priorities and love should always be our number one priority. <\/p>\n

It’s better to be alone than to be with someone and feel alone:<\/p>\n

If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you feel loved on an ordinary day then they won’t on extraordinary days. In fact, the extraordinary days in life will be even more painful and a bigger reminder that you are not loved. Why? Because those are the days we look for love. The ordinary days we take it as a given that we are surrounded by those who love us. The extraordinary days we expect those people to show up. Scratch that. We NEED those people to show up. It’s like an emotional booster shot. A reminder that there’s enough healthy love in our lives to sustain us.<\/p>\n

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It is my Birthday and I have two articles due. I stop long enough to meet my brother for our traditional Birthday lunch. I return home and perch myself in front of my computer. 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