{"id":1102,"date":"2015-10-05T03:18:05","date_gmt":"2015-10-05T03:18:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=1102"},"modified":"2015-10-05T03:18:05","modified_gmt":"2015-10-05T03:18:05","slug":"the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html","title":{"rendered":"The 2 People Your Spouses Are in Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

My friend “Crystal” calls me. She tells me she has just read one of my recent columns, “The Weak Moments of Divorce” – aka the column where I wrote about listening to our honeymoon song, “Red, Red Wine” on the radio.<\/p>\n

“Crystal” gets it. She’s been divorced. She understands the yin and the yang. The push and the pull. The love and the hatred. The forgiveness and the anger.<\/p>\n

“Crystal” doesn’t ask me when I experience these moments if I am interested in getting back together with my soon to be ex (as some others do). She realizes that for those of us who have ended these enduring relationships that our former (or soon to be former) spouses have two identities in our lives.<\/p>\n

She realizes that there is the ‘memory’ and the ‘reality’ of the one we once loved with all our heart.<\/p>\n

In the ‘memory’ that person is still beautiful. They are first dates, I love you’s, shared secrets, special songs, weddings, first houses, babies, vacations, inside jokes, and quiet moments.<\/p>\n

In the ‘reality’ they are ugly. They are arguments, broken promises, strangers, betrayals, time lost, and disappointments.<\/p>\n

The truth is with ‘lost love’ you simply can’t have one without the other. There is always the ‘before and after.’ <\/p>\n

So there will always be the honeymoon song, “Red, Red Wine” on the radio moments. The ones where for a brief encounter time will stop the ugliness and bring the beauty back. <\/p>\n

Some may call it pain. <\/p>\n

I call it healing.
\n\"photo-6\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist
\non Twitter @colleenorme
\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My friend “Crystal” calls me. She tells me she has just read one of my recent columns, “The Weak Moments of Divorce” – aka the column where I wrote about listening to our honeymoon song, “Red, Red Wine” on the radio. “Crystal” gets it. She’s been divorced. She understands the yin and the yang. The…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1],"tags":[230,2,5,119,4,72],"class_list":["post-1102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-catholic","category-divorce-2","tag-catholic","tag-divorce","tag-love","tag-marriage-problems","tag-relationships","tag-starting-over"],"yoast_head":"\nThe 2 People Your Spouses Are in Divorce - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 2 People Your Spouses Are in Divorce - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My friend “Crystal” calls me. She tells me she has just read one of my recent columns, “The Weak Moments of Divorce” – aka the column where I wrote about listening to our honeymoon song, “Red, Red Wine” on the radio. “Crystal” gets it. She’s been divorced. She understands the yin and the yang. The…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-10-05T03:18:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/10\/photo-6-225x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The 2 People Your Spouses Are in Divorce - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The 2 People Your Spouses Are in Divorce - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"My friend “Crystal” calls me. She tells me she has just read one of my recent columns, “The Weak Moments of Divorce” – aka the column where I wrote about listening to our honeymoon song, “Red, Red Wine” on the radio. “Crystal” gets it. She’s been divorced. She understands the yin and the yang. The…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html","og_site_name":"How Great Thou Part","article_published_time":"2015-10-05T03:18:05+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/10\/photo-6-225x300.jpg"}],"author":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html","name":"The 2 People Your Spouses Are in Divorce - How Great Thou Part","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/10\/photo-6-225x300.jpg","datePublished":"2015-10-05T03:18:05+00:00","dateModified":"2015-10-05T03:18:05+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/10\/photo-6-225x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/files\/2015\/10\/photo-6-225x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/10\/the-2-people-your-spouses-are-in-divorce-2.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The 2 People Your Spouses Are in Divorce"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/","name":"How Great Thou Part","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Colleen Orme","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/#\/schema\/person\/8f4436fdd06cdbb61d63a9a788b98e15","name":"Colleen Sheehy Orme","description":"Born and raised in Northern Virginia outside of Washington, D.C., I often call myself a southern New Yorker, much to the dismay of my true New Yorker buddies. Born to my native Brooklyn parents, I have a love of all things city and all things country. I found myself in the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, which prior to The Office, nary a soul could envision less you found yourself on the hills of Interstate 81. I was held up there while I pursued my B.S. in Business. I have two passions: Business marketing and writing. The two are not so terribly different. Why? Cultivating a brand is in essence the story and the connecting of the dots of a corporate entity. I write features for various magazines and newspapers and I am a national divorce columnist (what can I say things didn\u2019t turn out quite the way I thought they would). I am also a former business columnist. For more than fifteen years, I spent my summers on the Jersey Shore in what I call my \u2018out of state\u2019 clothes once again magnetized to the northerners I find so familiar. If I were to brand my writing, I would say I write of LOVE. That is the core from which I begin most stories. I find myself drawn to dig for the moments in the story that are the passion that drive the message. It may be the love of what originally started a business or an authentically motivated personal profile, or simply the love of a subject being investigated which compels me to write. My forever favorite form of writing is the human interest essay or what I call, \u201cAn Interview With Life.\u201d The average day that is explored and somehow once again instills in us a joie de vivre\u2026..a joy of life. These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1102"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1103,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions\/1103"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}