{"id":1002,"date":"2015-08-28T00:23:10","date_gmt":"2015-08-28T00:23:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/?p=1002"},"modified":"2015-08-28T00:23:10","modified_gmt":"2015-08-28T00:23:10","slug":"can-you-make-someone-work-at-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/can-you-make-someone-work-at-your-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"Can You Make Someone Work at Your Relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have spent a fair amount of time regretting the lost years I spent trying to convince my husband to work on our marriage. A lot of time beating myself up for my mistake in believing I could reach someone who did not want to be reached.<\/p>\n<p>Every once in a while, even the writer in me has very little to say on a topic.<\/p>\n<p>If your relationship is struggling and each of you are not placing the same value on fixing it then stop believing you can change a person.<\/p>\n<p>People change for essentially just a few simple reasons.<\/p>\n<p>They allow enough God in their lives that their spirituality allows them growth.<br \/>\nThey allow enough family in their lives to see their impact on those they love.<br \/>\nThey allow enough confidence in themselves to recognize that counseling is an evolution of growth and not a threat.<br \/>\nThey allow enough humbling into their heart to admit they are in a bad place.<\/p>\n<p>What each of these has in common is that they start with &#8216;they&#8217; and not &#8216;you.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>You can&#8217;t do it for them.<\/p>\n<p>Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist<br \/>\non Twitter @colleenorme<br \/>\non Pinterest @colleensheehyorme<br \/>\nE-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com<br \/>\nwww.colleensheehyorme.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have spent a fair amount of time regretting the lost years I spent trying to convince my husband to work on our marriage. A lot of time beating myself up for my mistake in believing I could reach someone who did not want to be reached. Every once in a while, even the writer&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":575,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Can You Make Someone Work at Your Relationship? - How Great Thou Part<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/can-you-make-someone-work-at-your-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Can You Make Someone Work at Your Relationship? - How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have spent a fair amount of time regretting the lost years I spent trying to convince my husband to work on our marriage. A lot of time beating myself up for my mistake in believing I could reach someone who did not want to be reached. Every once in a while, even the writer&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/can-you-make-someone-work-at-your-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"How Great Thou Part\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-08-28T00:23:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colleen Sheehy Orme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Can You Make Someone Work at Your Relationship? - How Great Thou Part","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/2015\/08\/can-you-make-someone-work-at-your-relationship.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Can You Make Someone Work at Your Relationship? - How Great Thou Part","og_description":"I have spent a fair amount of time regretting the lost years I spent trying to convince my husband to work on our marriage. 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Born to my native Brooklyn parents, I have a love of all things city and all things country. I found myself in the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, which prior to The Office, nary a soul could envision less you found yourself on the hills of Interstate 81. I was held up there while I pursued my B.S. in Business. I have two passions: Business marketing and writing. The two are not so terribly different. Why? Cultivating a brand is in essence the story and the connecting of the dots of a corporate entity. I write features for various magazines and newspapers and I am a national divorce columnist (what can I say things didn\u2019t turn out quite the way I thought they would). I am also a former business columnist. For more than fifteen years, I spent my summers on the Jersey Shore in what I call my \u2018out of state\u2019 clothes once again magnetized to the northerners I find so familiar. If I were to brand my writing, I would say I write of LOVE. That is the core from which I begin most stories. I find myself drawn to dig for the moments in the story that are the passion that drive the message. It may be the love of what originally started a business or an authentically motivated personal profile, or simply the love of a subject being investigated which compels me to write. My forever favorite form of writing is the human interest essay or what I call, \u201cAn Interview With Life.\u201d The average day that is explored and somehow once again instills in us a joie de vivre\u2026..a joy of life. These human moments are the Hope Virus that spreads amongst us and can\u2019t help but propel us into better human beings with a larger sense of the world.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/author\/corme"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/575"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1002"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1002\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1003,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1002\/revisions\/1003"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/howgreatthoupart\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}