{"id":2022,"date":"2018-03-01T16:03:35","date_gmt":"2018-03-01T21:03:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/?p=2022"},"modified":"2018-03-01T19:20:14","modified_gmt":"2018-03-02T00:20:14","slug":"2022","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html","title":{"rendered":"It’s better to give than to receive. But hard to remember."},"content":{"rendered":"

As a public school child in the 70\u2019s, my Valentine\u2019s Day often ended in tears. I remember digging into my optimistically large brown paper bag in first grade to find only three envelopes, even though my mother had insisted I fill out mass-produced cards for every child in my class.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one likes me!\u201d I cried. \u201cWhy did I give so many cards?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cValentine\u2019s day is ridiculous\u201d my mother snapped, and handed me a foil wrapped chocolate.<\/p>\n

As a happily married adult in 2018, I still have little affection for this holiday. (No, Valentine\u2019s day, I don\u2019t \u201cchoo-choo-choose you.\u201d) My husband is both wonderful and decidedly not romantic, and as Jewish day school graduates, my kids\u2019 only real connection to the holiday is sweeping up all the sale candy for our mishloach manot baskets.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to Purim. I love teaching my daughters to make my great-grandmother’s hamentashen recipe. I love laying out a delicious assembly line across the dining room table to fill gift bags, and I love delivering to friends, neighbors, colleagues and teachers. And, let\u2019s be honest, I love receiving mishloach manot. Believe me – it\u2019s not about the treats \u2013 our community is famous for swapping expired items from the discount natural food store in town. It\u2019s about feeling\u2026..loved.<\/p>\n

When my girls were very little, before we found our place in the Jewish community, we almost never received any mishloach manot. They were too little to care, so\u00a0I saved plenty of hamentashen and candy for them, and I understood that our friends, whether Jewish or not, did not celebrate this Purim tradition. We were paying it forward.<\/p>\n

Within a few years, we had friends who actually asked for my hamentashen recipe so they could start baking their own, and at least a few would show up at our door with Northampton style mishloach manot. (Think lots of organic lollipops.)<\/p>\n

\"28336736_10155963138406006_2630262222166415144_o\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This\u00a0year, once again, we packed up upcycled bags with hamentaashen, homemade chocolate chip cookies, Werther’s caramel candies, and fair-trade chocolate bars. We began delivering at synagogue Wednesday night and continued through they next day. And, we received\u2026.,one.\u00a0Just as many as\u00a0we needed, frankly, given the amount of baked goods and candy still in our house. But few enough that my inner first grader emerged.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one likes me!\u201d I cried. (Silently, of course.) And, for\u00a0 a tiny minute, I might just possibly have thought \u201cWhy did I give so many baskets?\u201d<\/p>\n

That grouchiness simmered for longer than I care to admit. Until my younger daughter turned to me and said, angrily, \u201cWe shouldn\u2019t give to people who don\u2019t give to us.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then, I had to become a grown-up again.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what?\u201d I said. \u201cI know it\u2019s really fun to get mishloach manot, but there are lots of reasons people might not have made mishloach manot or given them to us.\u201d (“Remember?”\u00a0I thought to myself. “There are lots of reasons.”)<\/p>\n

\u201cFor me,\u201d I said, \u201cthe fun part is giving. It feels really good.\u201d (“Remember?” I\u00a0said to myself. “Remember all those smiles?”)<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you\u2019ll grow up to do kind things for people because it\u2019s the right thing to do, not because you expect something in return.\u201d (AHEM, I thought to myself. GROW UP.)<\/p>\n

I gestured over to the dining room table. \u201cWant a hamentashen?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d she said. I grabbed a prune-filled, she grabbed a\u00a0brownie-filled, and we nibbled on my great grandma\u2019s hamentashen<\/a>. Which happen to be my favorite kind, anyway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a public school child in the 70\u2019s, my Valentine\u2019s Day often ended in tears. I remember digging into my optimistically large brown paper bag in first grade to find only three envelopes, even though my mother had insisted I fill out mass-produced cards for every child in my class. \u201cNo one likes me!\u201d I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":86,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nIt's better to give than to receive. But hard to remember. - Homeshuling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"It's better to give than to receive. But hard to remember. - Homeshuling\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As a public school child in the 70\u2019s, my Valentine\u2019s Day often ended in tears. I remember digging into my optimistically large brown paper bag in first grade to find only three envelopes, even though my mother had insisted I fill out mass-produced cards for every child in my class. \u201cNo one likes me!\u201d I…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Homeshuling\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-03-01T21:03:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-03-02T00:20:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/files\/2018\/03\/28336736_10155963138406006_2630262222166415144_o-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Homeshuling\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"It's better to give than to receive. But hard to remember. - Homeshuling","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"It's better to give than to receive. But hard to remember. - Homeshuling","og_description":"As a public school child in the 70\u2019s, my Valentine\u2019s Day often ended in tears. I remember digging into my optimistically large brown paper bag in first grade to find only three envelopes, even though my mother had insisted I fill out mass-produced cards for every child in my class. \u201cNo one likes me!\u201d I…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html","og_site_name":"Homeshuling","article_published_time":"2018-03-01T21:03:35+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-03-02T00:20:14+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/files\/2018\/03\/28336736_10155963138406006_2630262222166415144_o-300x225.jpg"}],"author":"Homeshuling","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html","name":"It's better to give than to receive. But hard to remember. - Homeshuling","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/files\/2018\/03\/28336736_10155963138406006_2630262222166415144_o-300x225.jpg","datePublished":"2018-03-01T21:03:35+00:00","dateModified":"2018-03-02T00:20:14+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/#\/schema\/person\/1b9b2e04ce88132a2716a44851035cfb"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/files\/2018\/03\/28336736_10155963138406006_2630262222166415144_o-300x225.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/files\/2018\/03\/28336736_10155963138406006_2630262222166415144_o-300x225.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/2018\/03\/2022.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"It’s better to give than to receive. But hard to remember."}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/","name":"Homeshuling","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Amy Meltzer","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/#\/schema\/person\/1b9b2e04ce88132a2716a44851035cfb","name":"Homeshuling","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/b43\/b432c2f0ab4d98954004bd3ab69e377ex96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/b43\/b432c2f0ab4d98954004bd3ab69e377ex96.jpg","caption":"Homeshuling"},"description":"I'm a mother of two girls, raised in suburban Baltimore, and transplanted to a small New England town. I teach, write, and try to create a vibrant Jewish home for my family while spending very little time in synagogue. I guess you could say we're home-shuling.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/author\/ameltzer"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/86"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2022"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2022\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2028,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2022\/revisions\/2028"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/homeshuling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}