{"id":1487,"date":"2018-06-25T04:44:32","date_gmt":"2018-06-25T04:44:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/?p=1487"},"modified":"2018-06-25T04:44:32","modified_gmt":"2018-06-25T04:44:32","slug":"revenge-or-compassion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/2018\/06\/revenge-or-compassion.html","title":{"rendered":"Revenge or Compassion &#8211; a Hollywood Story"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/erprofe\/4724824314\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-1506\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/370\/2018\/06\/4724824314_509f3beb10_b-672x1024.jpg\" alt=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/erprofe\/4724824314\" width=\"394\" height=\"600\" \/><\/a>Antoine de Saint-Exup\u00e9ry words echo in my heart \u2013 <em>\u201cIt is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.\u201d<br \/>\n<\/em><br \/>\nOur history and tradition has placed a demand of women to be the fountain of life as well as the fountain of love, comfort, support and sexual pleasure.<\/p>\n<p>In turn, men have traditionally controlled the external machinery of societies, science and education, government, finance, law, military and the like.<\/p>\n<p>Our judicial systems have been patriarchal and the overarching theme has been male dominance over women and society at large. Property, political leadership and moral authority have been controlled by men.<\/p>\n<p>If we look back nearly 3500 years, Hatshepsut ruled as female pharaoh of Egypt for 20 years. Apparently, her nephew Thutmose III destroyed and suppressed her memory until a record of her was recently discovered and publicised by archaeologists.<\/p>\n<p>Androcracy has been the chosen form of government, in which rulers have been men, in every society. There have gradually been more exceptions to this rule with the likes of Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, Park Geun-hye, Sirimavo Bandaranaike, Benazir Bhutto and Aung San Suu Kyi. Nowadays, German Chancellor Angela Merkel has risen to the rank of one of the most powerful leaders in the world.<\/p>\n<p>These leaders have not often been celebrated for their femininity \u2013 Thatcher was known as Britain\u2019s \u201cIron Lady\u201d whereas David Ben-Gurion apparently described Golda Meir as \u201cthe only man\u201d in his cabinet.<\/p>\n<p>The tradition of misogyny \u2013 of suppressing and demeaning the feminine \u2013 is now being paid back via retribution. The payback is to suppress the masculine.<br \/>\nWhat traditionally has been revered, honoured and celebrated in men is now being shamed. This misandry is seen in the now-current trend of naming and shaming powerful men like Morgan Freeman.<\/p>\n<p>Freeman, 80, feels that his life work is \u201cat risk of being undermined\u201d having been accused of sexual harassment:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>\u201cAll victims of assault and harassment deserve to be heard. And we need to listen to them. But it is not right to equate horrific incidents of sexual assault with misplaced compliments or humour.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>We have to understand that the world was a different place in the 1930s when Freeman was born and stop judging men according to modern standards. A dirty old man he may be, but an abuser I\u2019m not so sure. Freeman seems to me like a talented man who rose to fame much later in life and now has a twinkle in his eyes!<\/p>\n<p>And it would be remiss not to mention, Freeman is worth $200 million!<\/p>\n<p>I think it\u2019s going beyond the pale that a man who may even be talking to women inappropriately is now being exposed as an abuser.<\/p>\n<p>Not every cringe-worthy act should be deemed a crime.<br \/>\nIf we decide that every time a man approaches a woman with interest, or flirts with a woman, it is a crime, then what kind of society will result?<\/p>\n<p>A boring one for sure. And a whole lot of miserable celibate people. Is this what we want?<\/p>\n<p>You could even call Freeman a pest. Yet a man who has risen to the highest rungs of Hollywood, is unlikely to have avoided getting a big ego \u2013 given out and received numerous wanted and unwanted advances from women, sexual and otherwise. The moment anyone is in the public eye, our fame-centric, fame-obsessed society becomes ravenous, feeding off every quirk.<\/p>\n<p>The complaints against Freeman seem particularly petty though. There is a young Instagram female empowerment generation claiming super-hero powers \u2013 and now we have a group of whining whingers claiming to be victims.<\/p>\n<p>Society is actually breaking down because of how men are being portrayed and because men are being demeaned for talking to women.<\/p>\n<p>A compliment is not sexual assault. A bad joke is not sexual abuse.<br \/>\nSince when was a mere wink creepy?<\/p>\n<p>Awkward is not sinful.<\/p>\n<p>These sexual assault police are now crying \u201crape\u201d at every man in power. It\u2019s too much.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s rewind a little. Sexuality is a natural inclination, not \u201cwrong\u201d or \u201cbad\u201d as in the Calvinistic tradition. How can a natural inclination be moralised?<\/p>\n<p>Successful people generally have a powerful sex drive. How else could they succeed without this force propelling them forward? And they are rewarded for this creative drive.<\/p>\n<p>Sex is deemed a human need (not a choice or desire) \u2013 not a mere whim \u2013 or a game. Both sexes have an innate sexual need. This is not shameful, wrong, bad or ugly.<\/p>\n<p>No such thing exists as \u201cusing another for sex\u201d \u2013 sex is innately co-creative, unless it\u2019s rape or sexual abuse.<\/p>\n<p>I continue to hear of men being derided for \u201cusing women for sex\u201d \u2013 the familiar perpetrator-victim story.<\/p>\n<p>What about those who are being falsely accused in this witch hunt?<\/p>\n<p>When will they come for me?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>Is it fair to make people guilty before they are allowed to defend themselves? Asking for proof or evidence does not make you an apologist for abuse.<\/p>\n<p>Hashtag campaigns like \u201cIBelieveHer\u201d are problematic as they place all the credibility in the hands of the accuser. It\u2019s not clear who the real victim is.<\/p>\n<p>It is easy to accuse. The accuser can make any allegation with no accountability. The social media court then decides based on public mood swings. These accusations stick in the public view, and even if a person is innocent, they will never be welcomed back without suspicion.<\/p>\n<p>Tarnished by the brush of an accusation is like paying a price without having stood trial.<\/p>\n<p>Reportedly fired for improper conduct, American author, voice actor, and radio personality, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/news\/arts-and-entertainment\/wp\/2017\/12\/01\/heres-why-the-garrison-keillor-allegations-stand-out\/?noredirect=on&amp;utm_term=.59b680f3f17d\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Garrison Keillor&#8217;s admission<\/a>\u00a0is compelling:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>&#8220;I put my hand on a woman&#8217;s bare back. I meant to pat her back after she told me about her unhappiness and her shirt was open and my hand went up it about six inches. She recoiled. I apologized,&#8221;<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Keillor <a href=\"http:\/\/www.startribune.com\/garrison-keillor-reportedly-fired-for-improper-behavior\/460802703\/#1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">wrote in an email to the Minnesota Star Tribune<\/a>\u00a0in response to the allegation. <em>&#8220;I sent her an email of apology later and she replied that she had forgiven me and not to think about it. We were friends. We continued to be friendly right up until her lawyer called.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Accusation is not guilt. It&#8217;s prudent to reserve judgement where possible until the weight of claims becomes impossible to ignore (as with Bill Cosby, and Harvey Weinstein).<\/p>\n<p>When a due process is followed and criminal charges are laid (for instance in the case of Roman Polanski), the aftermath continues decades later even though he pleaded guilty and went to prison for his crimes. Now, most people agree that even consensual statutory rape is amoral, yet Polanski served months under house arrest and 42 days in prison before fleeing to France.<\/p>\n<p>Polanski is a Holocaust survivor, who spent six years of his childhood (aged 6-12) mostly alone evading Nazi death marches and then, post-Holocaust, achieved personal success as a film director. In 1969, he lost his pregnant wife, Sharon Tate, the love of his young life, who was murdered horrifically by the Manson Family.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s quite hard to understand why so much has been said about Polanski. We seem to have lost our moral compass. Whilst I don\u2019t condone his actions in any way, it\u2019s time to forgive. A homeless childhood evading Nazi persecution spent mostly on the run and alone is hardly a foundation for psychological health, but rather psychological tragedy.<\/p>\n<p>A little compassion goes a long way. As Carl Jung writes:\u2028 <em>\u201cThere is no coming to consciousness without pain.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>_________________________________________________<br \/>\n<i>Agree or disagree &#8211; tell me why?<br \/>\n<\/i>_________________________________________________<br \/>\nYou are a creation of God.<br \/>\n<em>This is why you really are good enough.<\/em><br \/>\n_________________________________________________<br \/>\nYou are awesome as you are, and I love you!<br \/>\nAnd if you love me back, please click \u2018share\u2019 up at the top!<br \/>\n_________________________________________<br \/>\nDavid Starlyte &#8211; ASCENSION GUIDE<br \/>\nMy guidance is channeled from the STARS. I&#8217;m a gateway, or portal to soul enlightenment (basically self-knowledge). Find out more about me:\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/davidstarlyte.com\" target=\"_blank\">www.davidstarlyte.com<\/a><br \/>\n_________________________________________<br \/>\nPlease follow me on Facebook:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/iamstarlyte\" target=\"_blank\">davidstarlyte<\/a>\u00a0and Instagram: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/davidstarlyte\" target=\"_blank\">davidstarlyte<\/a><br \/>\nImage via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.rudecactus.com\/archives\/2006_09.html\">Rudecactus.com<\/a>\u00a0&#8211; No copyright infringements intended.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Antoine de Saint-Exup\u00e9ry words echo in my heart \u2013 \u201cIt is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.\u201d Our history and tradition has placed a demand of women to be the fountain of life as well as the fountain of love, comfort, support and sexual&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":570,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,35,220,49],"tags":[676,44,1104,891,1108,1111,1107,465,1109,1105,1106,1110],"class_list":["post-1487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-perception","category-personal-growth","category-shadow","tag-carl-jung","tag-compassion","tag-de-saint-exupery","tag-divine-feminine","tag-garrison-keillor","tag-harassment","tag-harvey-weinstein","tag-hollywood","tag-ibelieveher","tag-morgan-freeman","tag-roman-polanski","tag-sexual-abuse"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Revenge or Compassion - a Hollywood Story - Healing and Transformation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Revenge or Compassion - a Hollywood Story - Healing and Transformation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Antoine de Saint-Exup\u00e9ry words echo in my heart \u2013 \u201cIt is only with the heart that one can see rightly; 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a Hollywood Story"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/","name":"Healing and Transformation","description":"Beliefnet Voices - David Zenon Starlyte","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/#\/schema\/person\/5d70922db39ca1c0813b3106d356588b","name":"David Starlyte","description":"David is a holistic healer, writer and teacher. A health-science Degree graduate in Naturopathic Wellbeing with a Graduate Diploma in Mental Health from Nan Tien University, David's background includes over 20 years in the wellness industry with the last 12 of those being based in Australia. He has trained with Qi Gong masters in China and Buddhist monks in Thailand. He has even studied with kabbalists as a monastic in the Middle-East. As a channel for Divine wisdom, his intuitive coaching, speaking and healing sessions invoke purposeful shifts into deeper connection, inner peace and awakening. Follow David at: http:\/\/davidstarlyte.com Email: davidstarlyte@gmail.com FB: http:\/\/facebook.com\/starmentalhealth IG: https:\/\/instagram.com\/davidstarlyte LI: https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/spa-healer-consultant\/","sameAs":["http:\/\/davidstarlyte.com","https:\/\/facebook.com\/starmentalhealth","https:\/\/instagram.com\/davidstarlyte","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/spa-healer-consultant","https:\/\/x.com\/davidstarlyte","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCUO1wXtHdorpXJJfTPMev7g?","https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/starlyte-meditation\/self-love-meditation"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/author\/darenson"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1487","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/570"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1487"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1487\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1508,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1487\/revisions\/1508"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1487"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1487"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1487"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}