{"id":1241,"date":"2017-12-05T02:52:21","date_gmt":"2017-12-05T02:52:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/?p=1241"},"modified":"2017-12-05T02:52:21","modified_gmt":"2017-12-05T02:52:21","slug":"are-you-a-victim-of-gaslighting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/2017\/12\/are-you-a-victim-of-gaslighting.html","title":{"rendered":"Are You a Victim of Gaslighting?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Via<\/a>Are you being gaslighted?<\/p>\n

gaslight:<\/strong><\/em>
\nmanipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gaslighting<\/em>\u00a0is a form of narcissistic abuse where a person, by way of manipulation, starts to question their own perception.<\/p>\n

Does the following seem familiar?<\/p>\n

“You\u2019re imagining things.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re being over-sensitive. It\u2019s all in your head.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re losing your mind, that never happened.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

“You’re completely mistaken.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re making things up.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI never said that; You\u2019re dreaming.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure? I don’t think your memory is that good.”<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The term \u201cgaslighting<\/em>\u201d\u00a0originates in a play (1938) called Gaslight, whereby a husband tries to drive his wife\u00a0out of her mind by\u00a0turning down the gas-lights in their home and claiming he didn’t dim\u00a0the lights when asked by her.<\/p>\n

Unquestionably, gaslighting has evolved from primitive tribal interactions where manipulation moved one higher in the tribal hierarchy, and at times could be the difference between starving to death or getting to share in the rewards of the hunt. It comes from the oldest part of our brains – the “reptilian brain.”\u00a0Our reptilian brain includes the primary\u00a0structures found in a reptile’s brain: the cerebellum and brainstem.\u00a0A narcissist’s lack of empathy has now been documented in brain scans.<\/p>\n

Hello reptile. Let’s not hate each other. We are humans after all.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Perhaps survival could be depend on learning to manipulate – or otherwise face being manipulated.<\/p>\n

Often within relationships, a partner will communicate in a way that lowers or demeans a perspective, to the point of making another person question themselves – so the very narrative is constantly being attacked, changed, hybridised, violated and nullified.<\/p>\n

What this does is prevent a person from developing a healthy sense of self, as their perception is being threatened. A sensitive person would start to naturally question themselves – is he\u00a0right – am I wrong – maybe there is something wrong with me?<\/em><\/p>\n

Over time, this corrosive emotional abuse will cause a partner to feel their own feelings are invalid and the abuser will gain the upper hand in the power dynamic. A narcissistic abuser wants to feel in control and powerful. He wants other people to support his narrow and unrealistic version of himself.<\/p>\n

What is the source of this behaviour?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gaslighting is a\u00a0narrow vision of the world with\u00a0paranoia at its root and trauma in its source-code – the need to feed the ego and feel in control of other people and in control of life.<\/p>\n

In a review of Martha Stout’s book The Paranoia Switch<\/a>,\u00a0<\/em>Harrison Koehli\u00a0states:<\/p>\n

Traumatic events overload our limbic system. The heightened response of our amygdala, which registers the emotional significance of the event, leads to a decreased response in the hippocampus, which usually prioritizes information and allows the higher brain centers to create coherent memories, based on their emotional importance. So, traumatic events do not get integrated by the higher brain centers as true memories, but instead leave us with non-integrated fragments of memory: isolated images and sensations. These memories can then be “triggered” by similar images. In this way, a backfiring car can trigger a war vet into a state of paranoia. His “paranoia switch” has been flicked.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If a person makes other people\u00a0question their own feelings and sanity, something is potentially amiss.\u00a0In a broader context beyond the scope of personal relationships, narcissistic behaviour can be particularly dangerous, and lead to narcissistic rage.<\/em><\/p>\n

The danger is in deconstructing perceptions and breaking the victim’s confidence in himself\/herself. In many cases, the more a person’s confidence is broken, the more likely they are to stay with the abusive partner, often forever or until they reach breaking point.<\/p>\n

Power is returned in identifying the issue, the perpetrator and the victim, and finding balance. Often the best way out of a narcissistic relationship, is out the back door. However, with careful counselling and spiritual care, solutions are available, and healing is possible. Feeling can be learned. The trauma both the perpetrator and the victim have suffered can be healed.<\/p>\n

Deep spiritual work can shift the old patterns, perceptions and acts that come from the reptilian (primitive) brain. All is not lost, we are just uncovering more of what it means to be human – and reptile!<\/p>\n

If you have experienced something similar, and can relate to any part of this article, please seek the advice of a qualified psychologist or counsellor, who can accurately assess your situation and offer help and a pathway to full\u00a0recovery and healing.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Much love,
\nDavid<\/p>\n

_________________________________________________<\/p>\n

What do you think – or feel? Feel free to comment down below!
\nYou are awesome as you are, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, please click \u2018share\u2019 up at the top!<\/p>\n

David Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach, Speaker and Ascension-Guide.<\/p>\n

PERSONAL HEALING GUIDANCE COUNSELING SESSIONS NOW AVAILABLE VIA SKYPE
\n(Email me for details: davidstarlyte@gmail.com)<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:\u00a0www.davidstarlyte.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook:\u00a0davidstarlyte<\/a><\/p>\n

Image via Flickr<\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you being gaslighted? gaslight: manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity. Gaslighting\u00a0is a form of narcissistic abuse where a person, by way of manipulation, starts to question their own perception. Does the following seem familiar? “You\u2019re imagining things.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.” \u201cYou\u2019re being over-sensitive. It\u2019s all in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":570,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,35,220,51,49,17],"tags":[984,981,983,980,986,979,982,985],"class_list":["post-1241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-perception","category-personal-growth","category-self-development","category-shadow","category-suffering","tag-feed-the-ego","tag-harrison-koehli","tag-lack-of-empathy","tag-martha-stout","tag-narcissistic-rage","tag-paranoia-switch","tag-reptilian-brain","tag-sanity"],"yoast_head":"\nAre You a Victim of Gaslighting? - Healing and Transformation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/healingandtransformation\/2017\/12\/are-you-a-victim-of-gaslighting.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are You a Victim of Gaslighting? - Healing and Transformation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Are you being gaslighted? gaslight: manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity. Gaslighting\u00a0is a form of narcissistic abuse where a person, by way of manipulation, starts to question their own perception. Does the following seem familiar? “You\u2019re imagining things.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.” \u201cYou\u2019re being over-sensitive. 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Gaslighting\u00a0is a form of narcissistic abuse where a person, by way of manipulation, starts to question their own perception. Does the following seem familiar? “You\u2019re imagining things.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.” \u201cYou\u2019re being over-sensitive. 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