{"id":1156,"date":"2012-08-13T09:30:37","date_gmt":"2012-08-13T09:30:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/happyhaven\/?p=1156"},"modified":"2012-08-16T05:42:06","modified_gmt":"2012-08-16T05:42:06","slug":"the-f-word-that-will-change-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/happyhaven\/2012\/08\/13\/the-f-word-that-will-change-your-life\/","title":{"rendered":"The F-Word That Will Change Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_1165\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1165\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/reallltype\/5636033207\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1165\" title=\"Forgiveness\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/324\/2012\/08\/Forgiveness.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1165\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">{flickr photo by: reallltype}<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>To be human means you ache. You hurt for the things you don&#8217;t have, the life you never got, the people who betrayed you. Some days seem full of grief, heartbreak and anger. And it&#8217;s so easy to stay in this place.<\/p>\n<p>Although you&#8217;re never promised a perfect life, you gripe in agony over the things don&#8217;t turn out as planned. Perhaps, serious transgressions occurred at one time and you wish desperately for a way to right the wrong. And instead of wading your way through it, you allow anger to slough away the vulnerability and toughen your insides. It can become a daily obsession. &#8220;What if this didn&#8217;t happen? Why did it have to happen to me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This kind of thinking is in no way helpful, productive or beneficial. In fact a lifetime of daily bitterness is a pill that will end up killing the soul, one negative thought at the time.<\/p>\n<p>Nobody wants a life like that. No one deserves it. But how do we transition from victim to victor when we&#8217;re enduring so much pain?<\/p>\n<p>This F-word will always do it. Forgiveness.<\/p>\n<p>On *<em>Oprah&#8217;s Next Chapter<\/em>, Olympian Greg Louganis shared his inspirational story about how he went from a troubled childhood, being bullied, abusing drugs, suffering from depression and rape to getting to the other side of victim toward hope, freedom and happiness via forgiveness. In fact, he&#8217;s not only forgive them, but thanks them for the gifts they brought.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s my favorite quote from him:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;[A] lot of those experiences were the gems of my life. It also allows me to empathize with people who are in similar situations. If I share my story, if I share who I am, it just kind of opens up that door to let other people know that they&#8217;re not alone.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The truth is, forgiveness isn&#8217;t about the other person. It&#8217;s always about us. It&#8217;s about allowing ourselves to heal, to move on and to let the experience change us in a positive way. There will always be love and light if we open that door. When we allow ourselves to finally forgive, let go and make peace with a situation that cannot be changed, we give ourselves the freedom to love others and love life again.<\/p>\n<p>*click <a title=\"Oprah's Next Chapter Greg Louganis\" href=\"http:\/\/www.thedailyown.com\/category\/oprahs-next-chapter-own-talkshows\" target=\"_blank\">here<\/a> to watch the actual video.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To be human means you ache. You hurt for the things you don&#8217;t have, the life you never got, the people who betrayed you. Some days seem full of grief, heartbreak and anger. And it&#8217;s so easy to stay in this place. Although you&#8217;re never promised a perfect life, you gripe in agony over the&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":485,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[662],"tags":[667,663,669,672,664,666,668,671,673,670,476,674,654,675,665],"class_list":["post-1156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-forgiveness","tag-feeling-like-a-victim","tag-forgiving-others","tag-forgiving-those-for-hurting-you","tag-greg-louganis","tag-healing","tag-how-to-forgive","tag-how-to-forgive-someone","tag-olympics","tag-oprahs-next-chapter","tag-problems-with-friendships","tag-self-growth","tag-self-healing","tag-self-help","tag-self-help-writer","tag-why-forgiveness-is-important"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The F-Word That Will Change Your Life - Happy Haven with Brandi-Ann Uyemura<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/happyhaven\/2012\/08\/13\/the-f-word-that-will-change-your-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The F-Word That Will Change Your Life - Happy Haven with Brandi-Ann Uyemura\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"To be human means you ache. You hurt for the things you don&#8217;t have, the life you never got, the people who betrayed you. Some days seem full of grief, heartbreak and anger. And it&#8217;s so easy to stay in this place. 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