![\"happiness](\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/goodnews\/files\/2012\/08\/happiness-happens-month.jpg\" "\\"happiness")
<\/a>Obviously, on most days, most of the time, I\u2019m optimistic. However, I\u2019m also a realist. If there\u2019s a tornado coming, I don\u2019t need a storm cellar party. If my heart gets broke, I cry. If there\u2019s chaos at work, I want to vent. But once those moments of fear, sadness, or frustration pass, then I want to ask the more important question, \u201cCan I learn from this?\u201d That way my focus isn\u2019t on the unwanted experience. Instead it\u2019s on how I can make an undesirable situation manageable, better or less painful.<\/p>\nWhen someone pretends to be over-the-top happy it can be annoying, especially if we know they aren\u2019t that perky naturally. When someone\u2019s truly happy, over-the-top or not, even a pessimist usually \u00a0grins a little being around them even if they do it in secret.<\/p>\n
Sometimes an over-zealous happy person will try to cheer someone up who doesn\u2019t want to be cheered up. This can be annoying to them. Sometimes everyone needs time for reflection, introspection or to simply ponder something in their cave. And yes, I\u2019ve been an annoying cheerleader. However, the wiser I get, the more I respect that everyone has to find their own happy equilibrium when they are ready.<\/p>\n
However, if you\u2019re happy most of the time, it\u2019s equally annoying when people think just because you\u2019re happy that you\u2019re a delusional flake. Mostly happy people have an ability to find the silver living in dark clouds. This is a natural gift for some people and a learned skill for others. But however you do it, it\u2019s not fair to have your optimism and happiness minimized.\u00a0 And that\u2019s why I founded the Secret Society of Happy People in 1998.<\/p>\n
When the Society began our world was a little \u2013 or a lot \u2013 different depending on your perspective. Unemployment was low, homeownership was an investment, politicians governed, and the future looked bright.\u00a0 With our extra time we focused on self-help. An industry from books, to talk shows, to workshops, to 12-step groups, to table conversations flourished. It helped us focused on why we weren\u2019t happy and how to fix it. Despite the obvious positives of the decade, it was chic to be unhappy about something.<\/p>\n
One weekend, while working on a humor essay for a personal empowerment newsletter, another 1990\u2019s buzz word, I wondered, \u201cWhere are all the happy people?\u201d<\/p>\n
Since I\u2019m on the creative side, my imagination flashed to a scene of people standing around talking about what made them happy. They didn\u2019t use their real names and even kept their identities a secret by wearing Mardi Gras masks. Why? Parade-rainers, people who dislike happy people, might crash their gathering. Then I saw the banner \u2013 The Secret Society of Happy People.<\/p>\n
That daydream made me laugh. I even wondered if these meetings happened anywhere except in my imagination.<\/p>\n
That was in April 1997, and by August 1998, other not-so-secretly happy people convinced me to found the Secret Society of Happy People. The purpose of the Society, then and now, is simple:<\/p>\n
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- Recognize your happy moments with the same enthusiasm as you recognize your unhappy moments.<\/li>\n
- Encourage others to talk about their happy moments.<\/li>\n
- Don\u2019t unnecessarily rain on other people\u2019s parades.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
We don\u2019t have those colorful, theatrical, Mardi Gras masked meetings, but we do have thousands of members from all over the world who all value and celebrate happiness in their own unique way.<\/p>\n
We try to increase happy conversations because we believe that happiness is contagious \u2013 and now science even proves it. Therefore the more people who talk about happiness, the happier our world will be.<\/p>\n
The most significant thing the Society did to increase our happy conversations was to identify the 31 Types of Happiness <\/a>to expand our happiness vocabulary. When you think of your happiness in broader terms, other than simply I\u2019m happy or I\u2019m unhappy, then it\u2019s easier to recognize more happiness. The more types of happiness you recognize, the happier you\u2019ll feel. The happier you feel, the happier most people around you will feel too.<\/p>\n
The Society likes to have a little fun too. When it\u2019s appropriate, we call out parade-rainers. Our most notorious call out was when the late advice columnist Ann Landers told people not to send happy holiday newsletters in their holiday greeting cards in her November 29, 1998 column. We also celebrate Happiness Happens Day on August 8, and August is Happiness Happens Month. We even requested proclamations from the governors<\/a> of all 50 states and our responses were amusing. We host Hunt for Happiness Week the 3rd<\/sup> week of January. We announce the Happiest Events and Moments of the Year and even voted on the Happiest Events and Moments of the Century in 1999.<\/p>\n
As complicated as happiness is, and as easy as it is to focus on what\u2019s wrong, happiness happens in the middle of personal or global unhappiness. People meet and fall in love, have babies, make new friends, help others, spend time with people they like and love, buy homes, get new jobs or start businesses, take vacations, celebrate holidays and milestones, learn new things and count the stars.<\/p>\n
While being happy in and of itself won\u2019t solve all of your problems, it can make problem solving easier and possibly even a little more fun. Although happiness and unhappiness share a stage, only one can have a speaking part at a time. We don\u2019t have to be an over-the-top Pollyanna to recognize happiness. We just have to want to be happy most of the time and we can do this when we recognize happiness happens.<\/p>\n