{"id":769,"date":"2013-08-06T09:44:56","date_gmt":"2013-08-06T09:44:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/gooddaysbaddays\/?p=769"},"modified":"2013-08-03T18:57:31","modified_gmt":"2013-08-03T18:57:31","slug":"can-we-control-others-attitudes-toward-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2013\/08\/can-we-control-others-attitudes-toward-us.html","title":{"rendered":"Can We Control Others’ Attitudes Toward Us?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Image<\/a>
Image courtesy of graur codrin\/FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When I was diagnosed with lupus, I lost many friends. Some simply did not undertand what chronic illness was all about, assumed I’d “get better” as soon as\u00a0I was under a doctor’s care, and became impatient when the months stretched on and I was still tired, unable to go out in the sun, and had other disease-related symptoms that put a “cramp” on friendship activities.<\/p>\n

Others’ reactions were more unfortunate. Some people just cannot be around anyone who is ill, no matter how healthy he or she might look. Old or young, for some people, being around a sick person reminds them of their own mortality. Lupus is not contagious, but sometimes the specter of illness can be, scaring away people who have a less-developed and mature sense of what it truly means to be human.<\/p>\n

Of course, the loss of friends, people close to me, was very difficult to take. We like to think that the relationships we cultivate in “good” times will stand firm in “bad times.” But, alas, it is not always so.<\/p>\n

The one thing I did not try to do, when friends began to peel off, was hang on too long. Convincing another, changing his or her heart, can really only be accomplished by God coupled with the personal experiences that help shape who we are and how we react. I am convinced that each person will, at some point in his or her life, experience profound sorrow and, probably, deep pain. That’s life on earth, an no one is immune. However, we will experience these things at different points in our lives, and sometimes, those friends who leave us when illness calls will not reach a more mature way of thinking until they have long moved out of our particular orbit.<\/p>\n

I hold old friends in prayer. I especially pray that good people will be around them when they hit their “dark night of the soul.” But I cannot do anything to change their hearts about my situation or our relationship.\u00a0 No, I have to move on and let God take over, completely and surely.<\/p>\n

For all the crying and disappointment that happens when we lose people we’ve relied on and whose company we’ve enjoyed, there is a peace that covers us when we realize that God loves us and\u00a0there are others who care about us, too\u00a0(perhaps new friends who have the same illness and who understand even more profoundly what we’re going through).\u00a0 Feeling this peace and acknowledging it are important steps to forging a good life with and in spite of difficult health challenges. And this peace, too, is part of that rainbow of promise that God holds for each of us – the promise that we will never be abandoned, no matter what!<\/p>\n

Blessings for the day,<\/p>\n

Maureen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was diagnosed with lupus, I lost many friends. Some simply did not undertand what chronic illness was all about, assumed I’d “get better” as soon as\u00a0I was under a doctor’s care, and became impatient when the months stretched on and I was still tired, unable to go out in the sun, and had…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":548,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,43,4,379],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-769","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chronic-pain-and-illness","category-encouragement-in-life","category-words-of-encouragemnent-and-info-for-all","category-lupus-2"],"yoast_head":"\nCan We Control Others' Attitudes Toward Us? - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2013\/08\/can-we-control-others-attitudes-toward-us.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Can We Control Others' Attitudes Toward Us? - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I was diagnosed with lupus, I lost many friends. 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She expected to be writing scripts. God had other plans. A few years after her graduation, Maureen was diagnosed with a life-threatening case of organ-involved lupus. Her life turned upside down as she grappled with the effects of the illness and other health conditions that ensued. She was no stranger to serious health challenges; even as a child, Maureen had survived numerous bouts of pneumonia, flu, and other infections. But lupus made her take a fresh look at her life goals - and took herlifelong, strong Catholic Christian faith and writing in a direction she'd never imagined. Today, Maureen writes and speaks about walking with the Lord while living with chronic pain and illness. Her most recent book is \"Don't Panic!: How to Keep Going When the Going Gets Tough (Franciscan Media). She is also the author of, \"Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain & Illness\" (Image Books\/Randomhouse), \"Beyond Pain: Job, Jesus, and Joy\" (Twenty-Third Publications), \"The First Year: Hypothyroidism, Second Edition\" (Perseus) and \"Taking Charge of Lupus: How to Manage the Disease and Make the Most of Your LIfe.\" She writes the syndicated column, \"Living Well,\" for Catholic News Service, and has also written for Saint Anthony Messenger Magazine, Journey for Women Magazine, The Upper Room Magazine, LupusNow, and Arthritis Today. Maureen's health continues to be a challenge, however she feels honored to be able to bring her perspective, from experience and knowledge, to others. \"Good Days...Bad Days with Maureen Pratt\" is a new way for Maureen to reach people who carry the burden of illness and pain in their lives, or who care for someone who does. Through the blog, she hopes to bring issues of health, wellness, and spirit into focus and, especially, inspire others that, no matter what health challenges, illness, or hardships they endure, each person can find a good way to realize the wonderful potential God has placed within each heart and soul.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.maureenpratt.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/author\/mpratt"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/769","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/548"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=769"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/769\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":770,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/769\/revisions\/770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=769"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=769"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=769"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}