{"id":558,"date":"2013-03-15T16:48:14","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T16:48:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/gooddaysbaddays\/?p=558"},"modified":"2013-03-12T17:17:29","modified_gmt":"2013-03-12T17:17:29","slug":"chronic-pain-bad-day-bad-mood-better-response","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2013\/03\/chronic-pain-bad-day-bad-mood-better-response.html","title":{"rendered":"Chronic Pain: Bad Day, Bad Mood, Better Response"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>We’ve all done it – and probably felt even worse afterward. Done what? Taken out our frustration and anger about our pain on ourselves or someone else. The physical weight of the pain coupled with the ever-growing sense of being dragged down by it can make the most resilient of us snap, lash out, and express what is hurting so deep inside. There’s the object hurled across the room. The bitter words spoken to someone we care about. The subtle, yet just as destructive, ways we sabotage our wellbeing even as we say we want to preserve it. These things and others can re-cycle each time we feel the pressure of built-up pain, making them almost as predictable as other reflexive responses. And the aftermath, the feelings of guilt, greater pain, perhaps even loss, are predictable, too.<\/p>\n

Predictable, yes, but not inevitable, if we take care.<\/p>\n

Take, for example, a conversation with a loved one. You are feeling bad, very bad, and your mood is colored by those feelings. Your loved one’s more upbeat mood, simply put, rubs you the wrong way and you lash out verbally, shutting down the two-way street of compassion. So, your loved one’s feelings are hurt and he or she puts distance between you. Then, you feel worse because 1) you’ve hurt someone you care about, and 2) you feel even more alone now that you’ve alienated part of your support system.<\/p>\n

This kind of situation need not happen. One technique to prevent it is to take honest stock of your pain and mood and express that to your loved one up front, instead of couching your feelings in other topics of conversation. This way, you let the other person know what the day is like for you, and he or she can respond accordingly. Prayer helps tremendously, especially for guidance and the right words to say. So, too, does consciously thinking of the other person (or yourself) and your desire to make your conversation (or self-care) as good and healthful as possible, thus pushing less-healthful responses into the background. And, of course, on a really bad day, sometimes it’s better to just retreat, rest, take good care, absorb God’s Word, and look to a tomorrow that will be better.<\/p>\n

A bad mood brought on by a bad day need not turn out to be destructive. For, just as our negative responses are within out control, so, too, are preventative measures to ensure that, although we have these very human feelings, we do not need to be victims to them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We’ve all done it – and probably felt even worse afterward. Done what? Taken out our frustration and anger about our pain on ourselves or someone else. The physical weight of the pain coupled with the ever-growing sense of being dragged down by it can make the most resilient of us snap, lash out, and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":548,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,43,4],"tags":[277,450,44,451,78,183,452,272,30],"class_list":["post-558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chronic-pain-and-illness","category-encouragement-in-life","category-words-of-encouragemnent-and-info-for-all","tag-anger","tag-angry","tag-chronic-pain","tag-dangerous","tag-frustration","tag-gods-love","tag-irritation","tag-loved-ones","tag-pain"],"yoast_head":"\nChronic Pain: Bad Day, Bad Mood, Better Response - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2013\/03\/chronic-pain-bad-day-bad-mood-better-response.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Chronic Pain: Bad Day, Bad Mood, Better Response - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We’ve all done it – and probably felt even worse afterward. 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She expected to be writing scripts. God had other plans. A few years after her graduation, Maureen was diagnosed with a life-threatening case of organ-involved lupus. Her life turned upside down as she grappled with the effects of the illness and other health conditions that ensued. She was no stranger to serious health challenges; even as a child, Maureen had survived numerous bouts of pneumonia, flu, and other infections. But lupus made her take a fresh look at her life goals - and took herlifelong, strong Catholic Christian faith and writing in a direction she'd never imagined. Today, Maureen writes and speaks about walking with the Lord while living with chronic pain and illness. Her most recent book is \"Don't Panic!: How to Keep Going When the Going Gets Tough (Franciscan Media). She is also the author of, \"Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain & Illness\" (Image Books\/Randomhouse), \"Beyond Pain: Job, Jesus, and Joy\" (Twenty-Third Publications), \"The First Year: Hypothyroidism, Second Edition\" (Perseus) and \"Taking Charge of Lupus: How to Manage the Disease and Make the Most of Your LIfe.\" She writes the syndicated column, \"Living Well,\" for Catholic News Service, and has also written for Saint Anthony Messenger Magazine, Journey for Women Magazine, The Upper Room Magazine, LupusNow, and Arthritis Today. Maureen's health continues to be a challenge, however she feels honored to be able to bring her perspective, from experience and knowledge, to others. \"Good Days...Bad Days with Maureen Pratt\" is a new way for Maureen to reach people who carry the burden of illness and pain in their lives, or who care for someone who does. Through the blog, she hopes to bring issues of health, wellness, and spirit into focus and, especially, inspire others that, no matter what health challenges, illness, or hardships they endure, each person can find a good way to realize the wonderful potential God has placed within each heart and soul.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.maureenpratt.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/author\/mpratt"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/548"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=558"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":562,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558\/revisions\/562"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}