{"id":1983,"date":"2016-03-02T22:38:19","date_gmt":"2016-03-02T22:38:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/?p=1983"},"modified":"2016-03-02T22:38:19","modified_gmt":"2016-03-02T22:38:19","slug":"chronic-illness-should-we-apologize","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2016\/03\/chronic-illness-should-we-apologize.html","title":{"rendered":"Chronic Illness: Should We Apologize?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Second<\/a>A woman navigating her way in a large motorized scooter had to maneuver tightly around several people before reaching the elevator, where someone inside the cab was holding the button to keep the doors open for her.<\/p>\n

“Sorry,” she said to one person as she moved past. “Sorry,” she said to another as she swerved the other way. “Sorry,” she said again, as she looked at those of us in the elevator.<\/p>\n

Finally, tucking her scooter into the elevator with a hair’s breadth to spare, she said, “Thank you.”<\/p>\n

A smattering of “no problem” and “don’t worry” lifted softly as the elevator doors closed. And I began to wonder…<\/p>\n

I do this, too. I will often find myself saying, “Sorry,” if my illness becomes inconvenient or requires accommodation. I might say, “Sorry,” if I have to reschedule an appointment, or I might also apologize if my slow steps delay someone else’s passage or my allergies or other restrictions put up barriers instead of invitations.<\/p>\n

But, why am I and why do others with health challenges apologize for them? And, should we?<\/p>\n

Perhaps we apologize because we understand how rude our illnesses and disabilities can be. Perhaps we apologize out of weakness, thinking that we have to say “Sorry” or others will reject us. Or, perhaps we\u00a0are<\/em> sorry that our disability causes inconvenience to someone else, however unavoidable it was or is. But perhaps “Sorry” misses a more golden opportunity. Because at one of those moments where our physical limitations meet the public at large (or even a more personal situation) and we need help, an important act of mercy is unfolding. Instead of being remorseful that we are bringing our disability into someone else’s life, for however brief a time, we can be full of gladness and dignity that God has allowed us to be “out and about.” This ability to mingle is a gift we can carry\u00a0with respect and care. And when we invite others to help us, we are extending the respect to them. We are allowing them to do good things. We are inviting them into our walk, a walk that moves right along in faith with Our Lord.<\/p>\n

So, I really don’t think “sorry” is necessary. But “thank you” is. A smile is. A connection as one human person with another. And a breath of a moment where grace can flourish.<\/p>\n

Joy,<\/p>\n

Maureen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A woman navigating her way in a large motorized scooter had to maneuver tightly around several people before reaching the elevator, where someone inside the cab was holding the button to keep the doors open for her. “Sorry,” she said to one person as she moved past. “Sorry,” she said to another as she swerved…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":548,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1242,4,1047,578,1246],"tags":[2055,2054,2058,155,572,2056,2057],"class_list":["post-1983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food-for-thought","category-words-of-encouragemnent-and-info-for-all","category-good","category-goodness","category-uplifting","tag-accommodation","tag-assistance","tag-chronic-illness-and-regret","tag-grace","tag-help","tag-help-with-disabilities","tag-saying-were-sorry"],"yoast_head":"\nChronic Illness: Should We Apologize? - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Should we apologize for our illness and disablity, or is there something else we can do?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Chronic Illness: Should We Apologize? 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She expected to be writing scripts. God had other plans. A few years after her graduation, Maureen was diagnosed with a life-threatening case of organ-involved lupus. Her life turned upside down as she grappled with the effects of the illness and other health conditions that ensued. She was no stranger to serious health challenges; even as a child, Maureen had survived numerous bouts of pneumonia, flu, and other infections. But lupus made her take a fresh look at her life goals - and took herlifelong, strong Catholic Christian faith and writing in a direction she'd never imagined. Today, Maureen writes and speaks about walking with the Lord while living with chronic pain and illness. Her most recent book is \"Don't Panic!: How to Keep Going When the Going Gets Tough (Franciscan Media). She is also the author of, \"Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain & Illness\" (Image Books\/Randomhouse), \"Beyond Pain: Job, Jesus, and Joy\" (Twenty-Third Publications), \"The First Year: Hypothyroidism, Second Edition\" (Perseus) and \"Taking Charge of Lupus: How to Manage the Disease and Make the Most of Your LIfe.\" She writes the syndicated column, \"Living Well,\" for Catholic News Service, and has also written for Saint Anthony Messenger Magazine, Journey for Women Magazine, The Upper Room Magazine, LupusNow, and Arthritis Today. Maureen's health continues to be a challenge, however she feels honored to be able to bring her perspective, from experience and knowledge, to others. \"Good Days...Bad Days with Maureen Pratt\" is a new way for Maureen to reach people who carry the burden of illness and pain in their lives, or who care for someone who does. Through the blog, she hopes to bring issues of health, wellness, and spirit into focus and, especially, inspire others that, no matter what health challenges, illness, or hardships they endure, each person can find a good way to realize the wonderful potential God has placed within each heart and soul.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.maureenpratt.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/author\/mpratt"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/548"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1983"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1983\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1984,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1983\/revisions\/1984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}